“If it’s all right, Mrs. Venturi, I’ll ask just one more question.”
“Oh, please go ahead. Don’t be shy! These are some lovely questions.”
Meredith cleared her throat. “How can one tell when she is ready to be someone’s wife? Or rather, to put it in the terms that you used, how can one check whether she is willing and capable of becoming the wife that a man needs?”
Mrs. Venturi silently poked the fire as she pondered how to answer Meredith’s question.
At last, she replied, “Well, it’s easy to know the answer to the component ofwillingnessbecause one would only have to ask herself whether or not shewantedto marry the suitor.”
“But as for one’s ‘capability’, there are many things to consider. All of the domestic life elements need to be checked. Can she cook and clean? Can she sew and knit, or at least embroider?”
“But there is more to a marriage than the domesticity, of course. For example, how compatible is she with her potential husband? What expectations do they have for each other? Can they meet these expectations? As long as the answer is yes, I would be very optimistic about their union. Oh, but that’s enough rambling from me. Does that answer your question?”
Meredith felt a soothing calmness sweep over her, “Yes, Mrs. Venturi. Thank you very, very much! I believe that you have given me a far better understanding than I could have hoped for.”
* * *
Meredith sat down at her writing desk. She felt slightly guilty that she wasn’t preparing for her lessons as rigorously as she had when she was Lady Cecilia’s governess, but in her defense, Luca was still learning his letters and numbers. So maybe it wasn’t so bad that she wasn’t reading stacks of references the way she had done for Cecilia’s lessons.
Meredith took out her journal to record the day’s events. She was making an effort to record her days more meticulously and diligently ever since she noticed that her memories of Ambrose Estate were becoming fuzzier far more quickly than she had anticipated.
She flipped through the pages. She saw the entry she had written during her first night at Ambrose Estate. The next entry documented her first lesson with Lady Cecilia. She blushed when she saw the pages she had written during her brief infatuation of Lord Farellshire.
It’s funny how Anthony is barely mentioned during most of these entries.
She kept turning the pages. At last, the first proper mention of Anthony, which read,“His Grace almost dismissed me today…”
Meredith chuckled as she thought about how ignorant the Meredith in this entry was about everything that lay ahead. She turned the pages faster still.
As she whizzed past the pages containing the secret nights out into the garden, the day they discovered Daisy in the kitchen, the dinner party, her first time riding a horse, their day out in Louxbridge, their adventures seemed to swirl around Meredith. It was as if Ambrose Estate was a world of its own.
And as she saw the same name recur on every entry in numerous forms—going from “His Grace” to “Anthony” to “Tony”—Meredith started to cry. Though she had written quite a lot of the important stuff down, she had neglected to write many important things, too.
She regretted not writing down more detailed descriptions of his face. She remembered calling his eyes emeralds, but what about the rest of his features? She knew that he was quite handsome, but even as she read the pages and brought the memories to life, his exact appearance seemed to be slipping away from her.
She had neglected to write down exactly what his voice sounded like or his manner of walking. If she closed his eyes, she could see him now. But within two months of being apart from him, Meredith was growing more worried that she wasn’t remembering him perfectly enough.
At last, she reached the entry documenting her departure from Ambrose Estate. Her handwriting here was barely readable because she had written it almost immediately after reading the goodbye note that Anthony had given her.
She flipped to the very last pages of the journal, where she had carefully enclosed all of the notes he had given her. There was his secret invitation to her for a second night out in the garden. As well as the note that had arrived with the beautiful dark blue evening gown he had given to her.
But Meredith picked up the note that had been her favorite up until he had given her the goodbye note. It said:
So, so sorry, Meredith! I have to run some errands today. I’ll try to make it back before tea, sodon’teat all of the oatmeal cookies!
Yours,
Anthony
Even now, the note made Meredith smile. She loved it because it felt like an artifact from a much simpler time. Of all the things she missed about Anthony, Meredith missed having these little moments the most.
At last, she came to final note. She took several deep breaths to brace herself before reading it.
Meredith,
I know you’re nervous. That’s all right! If there’s anyone capable of facing the world and turning it on its head, it’s you.
Regardless of what I might end up saying to you in person, make sure youdo not rushback to us. Take as much time as you need. Knowing myself, I might end up telling you to hurry up and come back to us as I wish you farewell.
