“That is not particularly helpful, Liam,” she said, slightly annoyed.
He turned to face her fully. “Think of it, Thea. There is something very special about you, there always has been. He felt it when we all were small and played knights and highwaymen, rescuing you, our damsel in distress. I felt it. He did as well.”
“You did?”
“Indeed. But the Baron, in my humble opinion, never truly outgrew his infatuation with you. Instead, he turned it into his personal mission to have you for his own.”
“But you outgrew yours? Your infatuation with me?”
For a long moment, Liam merely gazed at her, his expression that of the footman, stony and cool, and Thea began to think he would not reply. “I refuse to answer that question right now,” he finally replied, “as it might cause further problems for you.”
“I will permit you to get away with not answering that,” Thea said, grinning a little, “for now.”
“Will your brother finally say yes to the Baron’s proposal, and demand you marry him?”
Thea could not look at him as she answered. Releasing his hand, she took a few steps toward the lake’s edge. “Yes,” she whispered, her stomach in knots. “In time, he will. He always caved in to whatever Robert wanted.”
“I remember that,” Liam said from behind her. “Even as children, the Baron always told Lord Willowdale what to do, and he did it. Like the time the Baron suggested he ride your father’s unbroken colt and he got thrown.”
“I recall that incident.” Thea half turned toward him. “Even if Freddie got into trouble for it, the Baron could always talk him into something. If it made sense to the Baron, he convinced Freddie it made sense.”
“He is a skilled talker.”
“And he is working those skills now. Liam, what am I going to do? I despise that man, he makes me physically ill if I marry him –”
She left the rest of that thought unspoken, her heart racing in her chest, her stomach roiling. Perspiration broke out on her brow. If Freddie ordered her to marry the Baron, she would have no choice but to do it. “Maybe I can run away,” she rushed out, “If Freddie demands I marry him, I will leave, go away.”
“Then what?” Liam asked, his tone gentle. “How will you live? Thea? Will you go to London and labor in a workhouse? Become, excuse me for saying it, a prostitute? You are gently born. You have no one to take you in, no way to make a living. Will you starve to death?”
Thea had no answers. Liam certainly painted a very stark picture of a woman’s life who had no husband and no income. Her only skills were embroidery, and just about any woman in the kingdom could also embroider or sew. “I cannot marry him,” she said, near tears, miserable. “My life will be over.”
“No,” he said, “it will not be. Difficult perhaps, but not over.”
“You almost sound as though you want me to marry him,” she accused, folding her arms over her bosom.
“I do not want to see you marry anyone, Thea,” he replied, his face in shadow so she could not read his expression. “I want you to be happy.”
“I certainly will not be if I cannot marry my own choice of a husband,” Thea snapped, truly afraid now as she stared into her stark future. “I want to marry for love, and I will never be happy unless I can.”
Chapter 13
Watching Thea walk slowly to the house, as though going to her own execution, Liam’s heart broke. He loved her with every fiber of his being, and yet he could do nothing to halt her inevitably marrying someone else. He could not hold her and soothe her worries and cares away. He could not kiss her or whisper his love into her ear. Nor could he tell her everything would be all right, as he knew that would be a lie.
Nothing would ever be all right. Not for him, and certainly not for her.
“Why was I fool enough to fall for a woman I can never have?” he asked the moon. “If love is such agony, I want nothing to do with it. It is far better to feel nothing at all than to feel such pain.”
Liam knew it was far too late to wish to not feel anything. Once, he was content to worship Thea from afar, to love her from a distance. Now, after saving her life, and that brief time he held her in his arms when she snuggled into him as though being born to be there, too much had changed for him. Though he tried to tell himself otherwise, deep down he knew it for a mistake to meet with her by the lake each night. It only made things worse.
Now he was not content any longer to love her from a distance. He wanted to marry her, to see her bear his children, to sleep beside her at night, to wake in the morning and see her lovely eyes open. Anger rose in him, as his despair climbed high, and he struck a tree with his fist.
“Stupid, bloody fool,” he raged, hardly feeling the pain in his right hand. “Bleeding idiot, youknewyou could never have her, and now she is to marry the one man she should not. Now, what are you going to do?”
Sucking the blood from his knuckles, Liam knew there was nothing he could do. As a common footman, he held no power, no authority, no ability to change anything in Thea’s life for the better. He laughed hollowly, a bitter sound. “I cannot even tell her how I feel.”
After giving Thea enough time to make it appear she had been alone at the lake, Liam left the grove and strolled slowly into the house. Feeling hungry, as he had not eaten since that morning quite early, he went to the servants’ hall where he and his fellow servants ate their meals. Even at this hour, as the staff often had to work well into the night, there would be food available.
He found several cleaning and serving maids sitting around the table, including Vanessa. He tried to ignore her huge sloe eyes that followed him wherever he moved as he selected bread, cheese, some broiled salmon, a chunk of roast pork and an apple from the middle of the table. A few of his fellow footmen sat at one end, and Liam joined them, offering them quick nods as he sat down.
