They were both silent for a moment or two, then Jenny said, “I so much enjoyed the ball, Your Grace, although I have to admit I felt a little out of place with all those fine ladies and gentlemen so well dressed and dancing their merry jigs.”
Thomas laughed and felt a little more relaxed. “You danced a fine jig yourself, Miss Jenny. I certainly enjoyed my dances with you.”
“If it had not been for Helena giving me dance lessons before the ball, I would have been like a Saturday night drunk wobbling and weaving down the street.”
Then it suddenly struck Thomas why he had really come to see Jenny, and he fell silent, shaken by the realization.
Jenny turned to him when he did not speak for a moment and asked, “What did you wish to speak to me about?”
Thomas was deeply pained—it showed on his face, and he could see that Jenny noticed this.
“Miss Jenny… there have been moments when we have been together… that I felt, and I believe you did too… a closeness… a sympathy.” He looked to gauge her reaction. She smiled shyly and very sweetly.
“I cannot deny that,” she said almost breathlessly.
“And while it has warmed my heart, you must understand that there can be nothing between us.” This was causing him great pain as he could see this was hurting her as much as it was him. “And I need to tell you that I met a lady at the ball… Lady Prunella Alderman… and we have been seeing each other. It is too early to say courting… but I expect it will come to that in time.”
“Oh…” was all Jenny could say. “Of course, I understand.”
But it appeared to Thomas that she did not. He stopped walking and turned to face her. “Please, Miss Jenny, even though I have great regard for your person and your talent, you must understand that I am not in a position to offer you anything other than my regard and friendship.”
Jenny’s face had turned a chalky white. “I expected nothing else,” she said with great effort.
Thomas could not help himself, and tears appeared in his eyes. “I wish to the bottom of my heart that it could be otherwise, but it cannot be, and I hope you can understand and forgive me.”
She looked at him, stricken, by his damning words and started to turn away. But Thomas could not help himself and he grabbed her by the shoulders, pulled her to him, and kissed her as he had kissed no other woman before. She responded to him with the same intensity that he had shown her. It seemed that the kiss would go on forever, but it was Jenny who finally pulled away. She just stared at him in utter dismay and turned and ran back to the shop, holding her apron up to her face.
Thomas was too devastated to move. His heart was breaking but there was no remedy. From now on it must be all about Prunella. He must think, dream, desire only her. Miss Jenny must be banished to his past.
He finally went to retrieve his horse, but he did not go into the shop to purchase any baked goods.
Chapter 28
Helena was in Chatsworth to have her favorite pair of shoes repaired at the cobblers. It has been over a week since the ball, and she had not seen or heard a word from Jenny. She did not like to disturb her at the bakery when she was working, but she was sincerely worried about her. So, she had no qualms about stopping by to say hello and see what was happening with her these days.
The bakery was busy when she went inside and both Robert and Claudia were assisting customers. Helena knew her way around the bakery, so she slipped through the door from the shop and went looking for Jenny in the back. She found her, up to the elbows in a vat of dough, and when Jenny looked up and saw her, she began to cry.
“What?” Helena asked, going over to her friend and putting her arm around Jenny’s shoulder.
Jenny was covered in dough and flour and could only wipe her eyes by rubbing them against her upper arms.
“Jenny, dearest, what is the matter?”
Looking around the shop to see the state of her work, Jenny wiped down her arms and said, “Come, Helena, I have something to tell you.” She turned to her mother and said, “I will be right back.”
“Is there anything in the oven I should watch?” she asked.
“Not yet.”
Jenny led Helena out of the shop and up to their flat above the bakery. They sat in the sitting room facing each other. Jenny took out a handkerchief and wiped her eyes again and blew her nose. She then proceeded to tell Helena about her last meeting with Thomas and what he had told her.
Helena lowered her head before saying, “Yes, I know about Lady Alderman. George told me about their meeting in London and the fact that she has become an investor in their business. George also told me about their budding romance. I am so sorry, Jenny.”
“I have no one to blame but myself,”
“And why do you say that?” Helena asked.
“Iknowhis Grace cannot marry someone like me. Iknowhe needs to marry a lady with money… and yet… there was that little part of me that hoped. We had a connection, I know it, but it was just a fantasy on my part. I should not have allowed myself to think otherwise.”
