In his chest, without his eyes upon her, Annabelle found it a little easier to speak. “I have told you about the time I ran away from home to escape my betrothal to a brutish Lord who I did not want to marry... but I did not tell you that I was notalone.”
“You were not?” James was shocked, he had never presumed to think that Annabelle had been anything but totally honest withhim.
“I left with the stable boy who worked on our family land. Although... I suppose he was not just a stable boy, he was also an Earl.” Shaking her head, Annabelle realized this was not essential to her story. “I left with him and we went to Mr. Brentwood’s home together. We were...” She sighed loudly, feeling terrible and guilty all at once. “We were inlove.”
“I see,” James said, a little colder this time. He stepped back and held onto Annabelle’s shoulders so that he could stare into her eyes as they had this conversation. He needed to understand exactly what she was trying to tell him. “And you still are? This is why you cannot marryme?”
“He has come here to find me,” Annabelle admitted. “He spent his whole life after I was forced from Mr. Brentwood’s home making his life better, working towards a future, and now he has achievedthat.”
“He wants you?” James gasped finally realising the magnitude of all of this. “Your first love, the man that you clearly risked everything for, he has come back foryou.”
“Yes.” Annabelle nodded. “I am sorry.” James went a deathly shade of white but he remained silent. It was up to her to continue talking. “I am sorry, James, I truly do feel terrible about this, but I do not feel that it is right to marry you if my heart lies with someoneelse.”
“Yes.” James seemed to take the news too well. “I understand; you will always be asking yourself what would have happened if you left with him. You will never be able to commit to me completely. Your mind will always be with someoneelse.”
He glanced down at Annabelle, feeling his heart shatter in his chest. He loved Annabelle, he adored this woman, he would never have asked her to marry him if he did not... but she did not love him. He could see it in her face, she did not want to crush him, but her heart truly belonged to this otherman.
I need to remain strong, he told himself. I have to keep in control. Annabelle cannot see me weep, she feels bad enough about all of this. I shall move on; I will find someone else. It might take me time but I will doit.
“I see,” he said, gravely. “I do, and I know that I deserve someone that loves me wholly.” He gulped noisily, trying to keep his emotion inside. “Just know that I love you, Annabelle, I think I always will, but part of that love is me wanting you to be happy. If this man will make you happy, then that is what I want foryou.”
James’s kind words affected Annabelle deeply, she was so touched by his kindness. She knew that she had hurt him, but he was right. He did deserve someone who loved him with everything that his future wifewould.
“Thank you, James.” She squeezed his hands and smiled up at him. “You are a very goodman.”
Then Annabelle lifted herself up onto her tip toes and she placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. As her lips brushed against his skin, she did not get that prickle, she did not feel that burst of excitement which just confirmed that she was doing the right thing. She would never feel the way about James as she felt about Floyd. Just because he was a nice man, it did not mean they could make it forever. As she fell back to the ground, Annabelle pressed the engagement ring into James’s hands. In all honesty, she had felt on edge ever since he gave it to her. It had never felt quiteright.
“When will I see you again?” James asked curiously as he stepped back. “Or are you going to leave town with this mystery man ofyours?”
“I do not know,” Annabelle told him honestly. She had not known what she was going to say to James until she arrived, she had no idea what she was going to do next. “But I do hope this is not the last time we see one another forevermore. You are a wonderful man, James. I have enjoyed every moment I have spent withyou.”
As Annabelle moved to walk away from James, she felt a part of her tear away, but she kept on going. She could not let guilt make her stay, that would be worse for both ofthem.
Her leaving was the onlyway.
