Chapter 31
“You are?”Floyd should have expected this, he saw Annabelle with another man only the evening before, but he had not wanted to accept it. When he stayed at the bed and breakfast the previous night, he spent the whole time awake trying to convince himself that he was no one to worry about. Someone she worked with, just a friend, someone who was courting her at most. The last thing he wanted to hear was that he was about to become her husband. “I guess our timing has always beenwrong.”
He stuffed his hands into his pockets to try and keep them from reaching out to grab her. She was not his anymore, she had not been his for a very long time and now he could really feel that. The acute loss crushed him. When he thought that she was married to Lord Ashdown, at least he did not believe that she loved him. Now... she was engaged to another man bychoice.
“I...” There were so many things that Annabelle wanted to say but she did not know where to begin. “I only got engaged lastnight...”
The unfairness of everything destroyed her and she burst into tears. Her hands automatically went up to cover her face since it was not the correct behaviour to show such emotion in such a public place, but she could not help it. It was awful. The moment the man she had always loved from afar was back, and he arrived just as she had agreed to marry someoneelse.
"I cannot believe it," Floyd replied morosely. "It is a terrible joke." He caught himself at the last moment. Just because this was bad news for him it did not mean that Annabelle shared his discomfort. “I mean, I am very happy for you, of course. Do not think that I am not. It means a lot to me that you have foundhappiness.”
I am talking nonsense, he told himself crossly. All while Annabelle stands in front of meweeping.
All he wanted to do was step towards her to hold her in his arms. He wanted to be the one to comfort her, just as he had been in the past but they had five long years between them and it seemed that too much had changed for them to come backfrom.
“I do not know what to say,” Annabelle sobbed pathetically. “I cannot believe it. I cannot believe we are in the same situationagain.”
Except it was not the same situation, not at all. There were so many things that were very different this time around. The last time she was engaged, it was a forced experience and she hated the man. He treated her terribly and she knew that she would face nothing but a life of misery with him. She could not even bear to be in the same room ashim.
But not only that, she was young and desperately in love with FloydBrewer.
Now, she was older, she had her own life, one that was not dictated by anyone else. Her father had absolutely no say in what she did, and nor did anyone else. Then there was James. He was a good man, one who she knew would give her happiness forever. There was absolutely no reason to doubt him atall.
And as for her feelings for Floyd Brewer... well, there was no telling where they were thesedays.
“Maybe we keep missing our time for a reason,” Floyd tried to tell her in a comforting way. “Maybe fate is trying to tell ussomething.”
Annabelle choked at that. She did not want to think that was the truth at all. She found it painful to consider. Maybe Floyd was simply trying to be sensible about everything, but that did not make it any easier tohear.
Maybe I do know where my feelings for Floyd are, she thought sadly with her bottom lip pouted out and trembling. Maybe they have not goneanywhere.
The fact that it was almost difficult to look at him because of the way that he made her feel told her alot.
Floyd could see that he had upset Annabelle and he did not like it at all. He wished that he had not said anything to bring that sadness to herface.
Maybe I should not have come. Maybe I have only made thingsworse.
Sure, he would have been left with hundreds of unanswered questions and feelings that he could not shut off, but he would much rather him have heartache thanAnnabelle.
“Maybe instead of talking about things that are upsetting, you should tell me about everything you have been doing instead,” he said desperately. “I have told you a lot about me, but I do not know much about where you havebeen.”
Annabelle sniffed in a way that she hoped would be discrete, but when Floyd reached into his breast pocket and he pulled out a cotton handkerchief to give to her, she realized that she had not. Her cheeks stained pink with embarrassment, but she took it from him and did her best to clean up herface.
She did not want to stop crying, the way that she was feeling inside made her want to weep forevermore, but she knew that she had to. She did not want to make a fool out of herself and she also did not want to waste the limited time that she had with Floyd crying over what could havebeen.
If this was the last time that she would ever see him then she at least wanted to leave with some happymemories.
“Yes.” She nodded decisively. “Let us take a walk on the sand and I shall tell you all about where I havebeen.”
As they walked down the beach and Annabelle told Floyd all about her life over the last five years, she did not think of James once. Not even to wonder what he might think if he saw her there, in their town with a strange man, one mere day after they gotengaged.
* * *
It was notuntil they stopped outside Annabelle’s front door almost an hour later that the guilt finally set in. Being so close to a place that was integral to her new life reminded her that Floyd was not a part of it anymore... and nor should hebe.
Would I have to tell James the full story about Floyd if he saw me? Would he be able to handle it? What if he made me choose... who would Ipick?
The fact that she did not know was the scariest part of itall.
