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Chapter 23

Every little noisemade Iris jump. She was a total mess as she waited for word to come her way. She spent every moment of every day jittery, just waiting for Ewan to tell her that it was time to go to the city, which meant she would finally leave the Oakley household. She expected him to be quick about it, he knew that her ‘father’ did not have much time left, but every second seemed to tick by very slowly. Every moment just gave her more time to worry about what the journey wouldhold.

Not only the journey but the aftermathtoo.

“Has my brother spoken to you yet?” Amy kept asking Iris this as if she was as anxious about the journey as she was. “Has he confirmed that he is going with you? It has almost been a week, has itnot?”

“Yes, I know, but he has not,” Iris sighed, allowing a small bit of frustration to come out of her mouth. “I know that he is busy though, so I cannot complain. He has already been kind enough to let me have some time to see my family.” She glanced at Amy, suddenly finding something else to feel guilty about. “I am terribly sorry to take him away from you again, I know you have only just got him back, I will do my best to make the journey a shortone.”

“He would be going anyway to complete his business deal,” Amy smiled brightly as she spoke. She did not seem to be concerned at all by her brother leaving her alone once more. Maybe that came once he’d been gone for a while. “I am just glad that you will be taken care of. It can be a dangerous world outthere.”

Iris had heard tales of danger, she had been told that terrible things could happen to people, but since it was something that she had never seen herself, she had a lot of trouble believing it. She hadn’t had any trouble on her journey down to the Oakley household. “I am sure I would befine...”

“You will come back to me, won’t you?” Iris was stopped in her tracks by Amy’s sudden burst of very genuine fear. “I had a nightmare last night that my brother returned home without you, and it felt horrible.” She clung to Iris’s arm and gave her a very desperate look. “I do not want to have another handmaiden; I adore you toomuch.”

“Trust me, I adore you too much to leave too,” Iris reassured her as her chest swelled with happiness. “As soon as my business is done I will beback.”

My business.Iris could not say those words without remembering what she was about to do,reallyabout to do. She was about to visit her sister with the truth. As much as she felt certain that Elizabeth would accept her decision, there was always a chance that the visit would unraveleverything.

Of course, if she didn’t go that would happen anyway, but still, it was very scary. It was safe to say that she had been having nightmares of her own. As long as they weren’t as bad as she had that first night, it would be alright. Even remembering the sensation of everyone around her screaming made Irisshudder.

“Good, that is wonderful news. I do not think I could start again. No one seems to understand what I need as well as youdo.”

Iris felt pleased that she had managed to make Amy see just how much she could help her without even revealing her true identity. It had not been easy, Iris had almost allowed the mask to slip on more than one occasion, but she had doneit.

“Thank you,” she replied in a voice that was thick with joyful emotion. “And I must say, you look lovely today in thatdress.”

Amy twirled in a playful manner, allowing Iris to watch the dress fly out in every direction. It was a simpler dress, which Amy had taken to wearing a lot these days, but this one had an extra flair toit.

“I do have to go to my lessons now, but afterwards would you like to take a walk around thegardens?”

This had seemed to slip into their daily routine, and while the weather was so nice, Iris really enjoyed it. “Yes, of course, that sounds wonderful. Have a nice day,alright?”

Once Amy left her behind, Iris let out a deep sigh, and she placed her hands on her hips. To an outside observer it might seem that she was looking over the room to decide what job she needed to do first, but really Iris was trying to work out which emotion she wanted to go with for the day. Upset didn’t help her, nor did worry. Panic was useless, but she couldn’t shut that down however hard she tried. She needed to remain upbeat and positive, even if just on theoutside.

Today might be the day, she told herself firmly, and if Ewan comes looking for me, then I need to at least appear very busy. I am supposed to be making myself irreplaceable. I do not want him to find me standing herehopelessly.

She smoothed down the bed and fiddled with the curtains, then Iris grabbed the duster out of her apron’s pocket and she ran it over everything, even the things that didn’t really need it, all with her heart hammering painfully in her chest. She hoped that today would be the day because she was not sure how much more of this she could take. The anticipationhadto be worse than the actual event, surely? It could not beworse!

“Daisy?” Victoria appeared as if from nowhere, fiddling with her thumbs as if she felt incredibly awkward. “Lord Oakley has sent for you. He wants to meet withyou.”

Oh my goodness.It was happening, it was actually happening. Iris balled up her fists next to her, before she loosened them once more. She’d wanted this to happen, she had been practically praying for it, but now she felt like the world had stopped turning.Just as normally, everything will befine.

“Oh, of course,” Iris swallowed hard as she spoke. “Thank you,Victoria.”

Just as Iris went to move out of the room, Victoria stepped into her path to prevent her from leaving. She stared intently at her and sucked in a couple of raggedbreaths.

“May I ask where you are going?” Victoria asked in a shaky voice. “Only... I’m concerned because of well, youknow.”

It was the first time that they’d acknowledged anything at all. The fact that she’d taken such a bold step proved to Iris just how terrified this poor girlwas.

She placed her warm hands on her shoulders and gave her a reassuring look. “No one needs to worry about anything,” she tried to communicate her message in the most cryptic way possible. “I have to speak with my family, that is all. I need to ensure that things will be... fine for thefuture.”

Victoria received Iris’s pointed look well, and she nodded slowly. “Right, I see. Thank you for letting me know. Only... I worry, about myself as well as otherpeople.”

They were slowly teetering into a dangerous territory. Iris didn’t believe that anyone was listening, but she could not be certain so she needed to ensure that things remained on an evenkeel.

“I would never do anything to endanger anyone else, I can assure you of that. I will take care of my family business and then I will be back. Things will return to normal soon enough, you will have absolutely no reason to worry.” Iris gave Victoria the warmest smile she could muster through her terror. “Now, I need to speak to Lord Oakley, so I must go. I cannot leave himwaiting.”