“Why were you so cold before?” Iris could not help but ask. “Was it the shock of seeing me in yourhome?”
“Actually no.” Ewan took a step back and he let go of Iris’s hands. She felt cold and lost without him, but she didn’t want to push things by reaching out from him once more. “I knew that you were going to behere?”
“You did?” Iris didn’t even know that she was going to end up here, how could Ewan have predictedit?
“Yes, because I know everything.” He paced the room, circling Iris. “I know that you aren’t who you say you are. I know that you aren’t a maid, you’re a lady.” Iris’s breath caught in her throat as she realized that her worst nightmare was coming true. “Lady Iris Warwick infact.”
“No, no, no.” Iris’s brain swam, the room twirled and spun around her. She could barely see Ewan anymore, never mind stand up. “No, I didn’t mean... you weren’t supposed to... No, I’m...” How could she explain herself? Ewan wasn’t supposed to find out this way. “I’m sorry,I...”
“Do you really think that sorry is good enough?” Ewan spat out, sounding so angry that he was about to explode. “After what you have put me through? Did you even think about anyone else? What about your family? Your sisters? TheDuke?”
“No, I know, I’m sorry,” Iris wailed as the tears threatened to spill. “I did not think. I should have, but I wasafraid.”
“You were scared to get married?” Ewan’s voice was coming from all around her, she had no idea where he was even standing anymore. “Did you not think about what would happen when you got found out? A wedding that you might not want will be much better than what could happennow.”
“I know, I know, I’m sorry.Please...”
“Please don’t tell?” Iris had to squeeze her hands against her head to block the sound out. Ewan was yelling now, the sound bounced through the whole house. “I cannot keep this a secret; this is the juiciest gossip that England has ever seen. People will be talking about this foryears.”
“But, I love you, Ewan.” Why couldn’t she see Ewan? Where was he? “I thought you loved metoo.”
“I love Daisy. I do not even know you. You are a stranger tome.”
“No, I am still the same girl.” Iris could feel herself falling. The light was becoming a pinhole. She reached through the air, trying to grab onto something to keep her upright, but there was nothing. “I’m still me,Ewan.”
“You’re not,” he yelled. “You aren’tyou.”
“No, she’s not,” Daisy’s voice burst out from somewhere. “She’s not me. I am the one that you’re really in lovewith.”
“No, Daisy, please don’t dothis.”
"Just forget her." There was Elizabeth. She sounded angry too. "She tried to ruin us all, Ewan, you deserve so muchbetter."
“Elizabeth? Helpme...”
“She lied.” Was that Alice? “She lied to all of us. She doesn’t deserve any ofus.”
“I know I don’t... I didn’t mean to... helpme!”
The world was shrinking; Iris was still falling. She could feel a deep blackness coming for her and she didn’t want to succumb to it. Not yet, not when there was so much to sort. She needed to make everyone understand why she had gone through with the switch, she needed everyone to understand how guilty she felt about itnow.
“I’msorry...”
What? Iris jumped up in her bed with sweat pouring from her forehead. Her pulse raced so quickly that it was all she could hear. What just happened? She was in the hallway, everyone was there, they were all yelling at her for everything that she'd done wrong. Even Daisy was there, hatingher...
Oh. It was a dream, it had to be. Iris was in her bed, staring up at the familiar four walls, and there wasn’t anyone in the room with her. It was her own guilt making her feelterrible.
Iris stood and wandered around the room as she let that dream wash over her. She knew that it was a terrible idea to lie, she'd been aware of that from the start, but still, she hadn't totally thought the consequences right through. She had considered the impact on her and Daisy, but not everyone else. Now it was more clear than ever that she needed to seeElizabeth.
The sun was starting to rise in the sky which meant it was too late to get back to sleep, so Iris left her room to get some warm water from the basin. She needed to wash herself, to try and make herself cleaner on the outside than she felt inside. Her insides felt too dirty to even speakof.
Luckily Iris was the only one awake which meant she could grab her water and return to her room without having to speak to anyone. Once inside she stripped herself down and she ran the washcloth over her body. While scrubbing her skin, Iris realized just how urgent it was that she got to her sister before anything happened. All of her worst fears had now been very clearly realized, and she needed to at least try to put thingsright.
What will I say? She thought desperately to herself. I need a valid excuse to getaway.
Iris tried to recall if any of the staff in her home had ever needed time off. It was a shame that the only person that she could really remember was Daisy, and she hadn’t ever been away from the house. She had no previous information to workfrom.
Would a family emergency work? Maybe an illness in the family, or even a death? It was a terrible lie, but surely that would be good enough to warrant a trip back to the city? It was all that she could think of, for now, so she had to hope that it wouldwork.
