I made Brooklyn feel safe. I knew that. I couldn’t let her navigate dangerous and uncharted waters on her own. I had to throw her a life preserver.
“I’m warped too, Brook. It’s not just you,” I confessed in a hushed tone. She stopped sniffling and looked at me with emotion filling her wide hazel pools.
“Y-You…” she stammered without saying much else. I already knew what her question was though.
“Yes. I think you’re beautiful in a way I shouldn’t. It’s fucked up. We can’t kiss anymore. We can’t…do anything. Okay?” I lifted my eyebrows and begged her with my stare.
“Okay,” she said earnestly. The tears were gone at least. I couldn’t take her crying anymore. It was fucking destroying me. I would have given anything to kiss those tears away. Instead, I tucked away those kinds of thoughts because I knew better.
We both knew better and we would act like it from now on.
**
Before I got out of the car to go into the house and try not to reek of guilt when I looked at my big brother, Brook stopped me. “I found medicine in his woom. That’s why I cut myself. I felt the water. I was scared.”
My ears heated at her words.
“Medicine? In Anthony’s room? “I quizzed.
“Yes,” she scanned my face and held my hands in hers. I hated how the warmth coursing from her to me made me feel so alive.
“What kind of medicine? He hasn’t said anything about needing treatment for anything.”
“Nitwoglycewin.”
My blood ran cold and I shook my head. I wanted to shake the words out. “Are you sure, Brook?”
“Yes. I know what I saw,” she said, placing her hands on her slender hips.
“Did you see anything else? Aspirin?” Brooklyn nodded emphatically. “Fuck!” I roared.
“Cease, what’s wong?” She tugged on my wrists.
“I need to talk to him,” I stormed into the house and told Brooklyn to go to her room. She went, reluctantly and I headed straight for my brother.
I found him in the kitchen, popping popcorn for movie night. Rage exploded from me without warning the moment I opened my mouth. “You’re on heart meds and you didn’t fucking tell me, Ant?”
He stopped what he was doing and looked at me, his mouth hanging open. “Cease…were you going through my shit?”
“Yes, I was. I was in your room looking for my car keys and I found the fucking medicine. Were you going to tell me? Tell Brook? Hmm?” I stepped toward him and his shoulders squared.
“I’m. Fine. Don’t worry.” He was on the brink of losing it but I’d already lost it.
“You’re not fucking fine and you know it! You’re having heart problems like Dad did and you’re hiding it like him too. I’m so goddamn tired of you hiding things from me. First, you didn’t tell me about Brook and her cutting and anxiety now you’re not telling me what the fuck is going on with you either. You don’t talk about any goddamn thing!”
“What happened to Dad isn’t going to happen to me, Caesar,” he tried to assure me.
“So you mean to tell me that you have a crystal fucking ball and you can see into the future? Tell me again…how do you prevent heart attacks from happening?” My breathing was noisy as I stared him down, glaring.
“I take my medicine. I’m fine. Stop worrying and don’t go through my shit anymore, Caesar. You wanted your keys all you had to do was fucking ask. Send me a text.”
“It’s not normal to keep things from the people closest to you,” I shouted.
“You’re not close to me, are you? You’ve been in New York for how long without a single fucking visit? Then you want to complain that I don’t tell you shit while you’re off being a goddamn hot shot shrink. Don’t come in here acting like you care.”
“I do care!” I roared. “Fine, don’t tell me anything. You could have at least told your daughter. She’s scared shitless. She started cutting again.”
The anger faded from his eyes and was replaced with sadness. “What? How did she find out? You told her?”
