“So that’s why you’re not willing to take me all the way, and instead, you’re trying to ease into it?”
He nodded.
“Oh, Gene,” he stated, horrified. “I’m not going to see a woman and walk away. I’ve made a commitment to you. I don’t tell anyone I love them, and I don’t allow myself to be vulnerable in bed with just any person.”
He let him talk.
“If you were to hurt me during sex, I’m smart enough to know it wasn’t intentional. That explains why I keep begging, and you keep holding back.”
Gene kept his eyes on the road, and he was grateful they were having this talk in the car.
“I’m not afraid of some pain, Gene. I was at first, but I trust you. As for leaving you for a woman, that shit isn’t happening. Again, I’m monogamous. It would take an act of God for that to happen.”
He kept driving.
“It’s always in the back of my mind that you can leave at any second. It haunts me.”
In that moment, his insecurities rose up, and for Ethan, that was never a good thing.
He stopped talking, and instead, he stared out the window of the car.
When Gene realized he wasn’t talking, he glanced over, and he could see the reflection in the window of Ethan’s face. The lights on the dashboard gave him just enough to let him see.
And he looked as if he was in pain.
Oh, Jesus.
“EJ?”
He held up his hand.
“I need a minute,” he said, absolute misery in his voice. “I can’t.”
Gene kept driving, and as they were close to the hotel, he needed to talk to his man. If they went in like this, they’d have issues.
They both had to be on the same page.
Pulling off the main drive, he parked the car on the street.
Then, Gene just waited.
Finally, Ethan spoke.
“I’m sorry that I’m this difficult to be with,” he admitted. “Because you’re suffering just to be with me. I’m a disaster,” he said. “I see why no one could ever love me. I’m too much. I make people work for it when it should be easy.”
Gene’s heart skipped.
Oh, shit.
This was bad.
“EJ, please don’t say that. Loving you is the easiest thing in the world. I swear.”
He looked over.
“It’s not if me faking a date with a woman I can’t stand right now to save us from Gabe is enough to scare you. If every woman I come in contact with makes you wonder, I’m doing this wrong.”
He turned on the lights inside the Mustang and faced Ethan.
