“You can’t fix everything with a hug,” he whispered, and she nuzzled closer.
“Try me,” she said, a playful lilt behind a wet voice. “Just so you know… Haley was my best friend until she moved away before high school. We did everything together. Like sisters.”
“Oh,” he said, having no idea what the hell she was getting at, but needing to hear her say something. Anything.
“I was so lonely without her, and then I met Finn and I clung to him. For so long, I thought he was everything. Codependence. I’m guilty of it, many times over.”
Helpless, Cole burrowed in deeper, remembering how she’d told him about letting Finn off the hook, because Finn was busy.
“I felt so alone outside of Foothills. When I came back to town last year, then Finn came back, and we sort of fell back in together, but not for good reasons.”
She sniffled, and he didn’t let go.
“It broke my heart, realizing that I was a burden on him.”
Cole’s throat rumbled and he held back a full-out roar. Next time Finn came over…
“What?” she asked, brow drawn tight as she glared up at him, then stepped back.
He gripped his hand in his hair and couldn’t hold the fury back. “You dumped Finntwice, becauseyoudidn’t want to be a burden onhim?”
“It wasn’t fair to either of us. I don’t want to anyone’s burden, I want to be a partner.”
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he murmured, fucking up worse than ever as he stepped close again, unable to resist and needing her close again, wrapping his arms around her. “You didn’t deserve that.”
“Damn right.” She burrowed tighter than before. “I tend to be a clinger. Figuratively and literally, as you are currently the subject of.”
He laughed under his breath, holding her tighter and making him realize she was part koala.
“And I tend to define myself by the people I cling to.” She inhaled a long breath and looked up at him. The weepy look in her eyes, and he saw just how desperately she was working on figuring herself out right now. That black lace was, as she’d said, just a symbol. “You have so much to deal with, and I know you went through more than you’ll say,” she said. Eyes swimming, she studied him. “You’re a survivor. You think you’re broken, but that was the most self-aware, honest admission I’ve ever heard. You are incredible.”
His chest clenched tight at hearing that she was hurting so much more than she let on to anyone, aching and humbled that she shared herself with him.
“Don’t apologize for trying to kiss me. I ran away because I’m scared. Not because I don’t want to kiss you, too.” A fire brewing under the surface, she didn’t give him an inch. “That boring date I went on? It ended in the most boring peck of a kiss I’ve ever had, and I didn’t have the guts to grab him by the collar and show him how I want to be kissed. I can’t expect you to get to know me, when I don’t let anyone see the real me. When I’m not even sure who I am. And you, Cole, are a big bundle of mystery man right now, and it’s not healthy.”
“I have an idea, for both of us,” he said.
She began to release him, standing taller than she had been.
“Just be whoever you want to be. Experiment. Have fun with it. I’ve spent my whole life running, and I need to figure out who I am, too.”
“What if I cling to you?” she asked, the corners of her mouth rising as she turned her question into a tease, but he knew she wasn’t kidding.
He smiled and chewed the edge of his tongue. “Maybe you didn’t spend the last ten years imagining me naked like I did you. I’m not the guy from back then, but I’m probably still not the guy you’ll want to cling to.” He reached back and set his hand on the doorknob. Probably should have held his tongue and gotten the hell out of there, but he was tired of running. With a self-effacing, flirty nod, he added, “But, I mean, keep in mind that I’ve spent half my life obsessing over you, so having you cling to me would literally be a dream come true. Well, as long as you still define yourself by you, but… clinging via your legs wrapped around me? Having you obsess over me a little?” He shrugged and turned the doorknob.
Instead of laughing in his face or throwing something at him for flirting after all that, a riotous laugh resonated from deep in her throat, witchy and wicked and filled with energy. “Six a.m. tomorrow. Don’t be late.”
8
Take a bull by the horns
Inthewaitingareachair, Trace doom-scrolled through her newsfeed. Anything to get her mind off of what she had agreed to, and what she’d said in the car on the drive to Seattle. At least Cole didn’t judge when she admitted that she once owned a doily-trimmed muumuu like her grandma used to wear.
Yeah. An ex had bought it for her, thinking it would be pretty and practical. Not wanting to hurt his feelings and wear something else when he came for sleepovers, she didn’t wear any pajamas, and, well, it sort of stuck. Cole had teased disappointment that she wasn’t going to be picking up black lace teddies or anything, just the practical variety of sexy undergarments.
Beyond the display of styling products separating the waiting area from the rest of the salon, Trace could only see the hairdresser and a sliver of Cole’s reflection. Damn. She actually liked his long hair, but he hated it, and she was glad to see him taking the bull by the horns. He’d even shaved this morning, but had pitifully had her finish when he got a cramp and had nicked himself trying to finish up with the other hand.
They had good hair salons and barber shops in Foothills, certainly closer than Seattle, but shopping and haircuts together in Foothills? The entire gossip mill would churn, wondering if they were an item.
