Ryder sat next to her and wrapped his arms around her, sliding her legs over him. Nuzzling into his neck, she shook her head, “I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for? Please, talk to me. We’re in this together.”
Pulling away just enough to check his expression, she shook her head. “I don’t know what is going on with me. I’m never like this. Nothing gets me down. I’m the first one to laugh something off or if I can’t, I go for a walk or hit the gym to lift heavy stuff, or possibly make heaping plates of nachos when I’m too bleh to move.”
“It would be incredibly normal, and completely understandable if you’re having a down day. Not just the hormones, but there’s so much going on. Everyone goes through this.”
“Did you read about all this on your app?”
He smiled and nodded. “Actually yes. It’s a thing, even for the many people who don’t have even half the major changes going on, like we do. One casual, easy night, and our lives were turned upside down. You know me; I’m putting on a smile, but I’m drowning. I’m terrified I’m not going to be enough for you, for our baby. Work has been my life for so long, it’s not easy to step back, but I’m trying to set boundaries. Finn and Haley had a solid year to plan, and they already lived together and were planning a wedding before they quit their birth control. You and I are almost nine months in and stilldating. I mean, we live together, I guess—”
“Sort of,” Zoe said, cringing the moment she said it. Sighing, she shook her head and said, “I wanted you to be a part of this, but I didn’t want you and I as a couple to be part of the equation. But you’ve been here forme.”
Tracing his fingertips along the corner of her jaw, he shifted her hair out of the way. “We’re in this together. All of it.” His chest rose and fell heavily. “I have to say, I was beginning to think I’d never have kids. Life kept getting in the way, but I always wanted them. More than that, more than anything, I’m realizing how badly I wantyou, Peanut or not.”
Her lips turned up and a salty drip aimed for the opening.
“Hang on,” he said and disappeared. She heard him pacing in the living room and talking to someone. “… Yeah, next week… Steve can pick up my slack… he’s ready … Isn’t that why we hired him, to take on some of my workload? You trust me, and I trust him… Yeah, of course he can call if he needs anything.”
Zoe rose to her feet and strolled down the hallway and leaned against the doorframe, watching him pace as he talked, his hand scrunched in his hair, belying his collected tone. He flashed her a wink and a deeply dimpled grin.
Finding a smile, she shook her head and watched him.
He clicked off and crossed over to her. “I’m here until New Years, then I have a quick meeting I can’t get out of, then I don’t fucking care how it has to happen, I’m here until the baby comes and as long as I can get away after. Anything you need, I’m yours.”
“Whydidshemovethe gala to New Year’s?” Zoe pouted, glaring in the mirror at the fancy getup Haley had helped her find. All belly, like a swollen basketball had adhered to her front, and her butt had expanded to compensate. “Doesn’t she usually wait, so no one has an excuse of other plans?”
“This year, it’s on New Year’s, because she thinks you’re adorable and wants to show you off to all her friends while you’re pregnant and glowing,” Ryder said, moving in behind her. Smiling sweetly, he leaned down and trailed kisses along her shoulder.
Zoe leaned in, breath releasing slowly as warmth fluttered over her skin. “We could pretend I’m having contractions, so we don’t have to go,” she whispered.
Mouth still delicately exploring Zoe, gracing up her neck and back down, he said, “Trust me, it’s better to make an appearance and give the woman her moment.”
Like a happy kitten craving attention, she shifted to get more attention, and closed her eyes. “And then hurry back home and enjoy noisy sex while Evan’s at Jagger’s?”
“Say the word, and I’ll put in an offer on whatever house you want—where no one can hear us,” he murmured, sliding a strap out of his way. He flicked his tongue over the exposed skin and whispered, “I love it when you wear spaghetti straps.”
A zing rushed up her spine as he kissed harder where the strap had been. Between the bed, the bassinet, and now two nightstands, there was standing room only in here. The house barely fit two of them, now three, and if the baby came before Evan moved out, it would be four of them. “My landlord is getting antsy.”
He slid the other strap down, and Zoe opened her eyes and indulged in the reflection. His eyes were closed, his mouth soft and sweet, his brow low with intense, gentle focus on her entirely. “Your favorite house, with the bedroom windows looking into the forest? It would feel like we’re making love in a treehouse.”
“I do like that house. If it was actually a treehouse, I might be more easily persuaded,” she whispered, nibbling her bottom lip and loving the hell out of his smile as he kept kissing her. The ornery bug bit her on the cheek, and she grinned impishly. “If you happen to come into possession of it, I might be willing to move in with you. Of course, I’m going to cover the nursery walls in football posters.”
He snorted a laugh and shook his head at her as he looked at her through the reflection. “When you’re working late, the peanut and I are going to use every shiny new pot and pan in the kitchen and leave them on the counters with dried out pasta and burnt sauce stuck to those pretty concrete counters.”
“Ha. You’re the neat freak,” she said, and turned to face him.
He tipped his head back and fiddled his tongue on his teeth as he calculated a better revenge. “Fine, then I’m going to paint her bedroom pastel pink and fill it with sparkly princess dolls…”
Before he could relish his moment, Zoe hooked her hand around the back of his neck and dragged his mouth to meet hers.
He kissed her hard and gripped her hips. “Okay, sparkly princess dolls in jerseys instead of gowns.”
“Your mother won’t mind if we’re fashionably late,” Zoe said between heavy kisses.
“Please don’t mention that woman when we’re making out,” he groaned, and scooped up a tender breast, quickly releasing when Zoe yelped. Every day they got closer, the more her boobs declared they weren’t for communal use anymore, however gentle. “Sorry,” he said, and kissed her again.
Zoe snickered a laugh, and dropped her hands to start working at the zipper of his pants. Mischief dazzled in her belly, and she watched his eyes roll back as she stroked before even reaching the next layer. “They say sex can get labor moving along…”
