He peeked in the bag, the savory scent of cheddar and bacon croissants almost tempting his stomach to accept food. Rolling it shut again, he set it back so he could see her. “Thanks.”
They sat in silence for a bit, the morning breeze fluttering the leaves around them.
By the time he reached the midway point in his coffee, he realized she was struggling to find the right words. Okay, he could handle more small talk. “So. When do you leave?”
“Saturday.” She crossed and uncrossed her ankles, not quite facing him.
“All packed?”
“Yes.” She smiled finally as the awkward melted to normal. “You know me. I started packing the moment I got the offer.” Yeah, she’d have been ready weeks in advance. “Finn. I, um, was hoping we could talk about something.”
“Sure.” Here we go. Just rip off the damn band-aid. It had been too long, anyway. Their little experiment had been a stinging example of how you can’t go back.
“When we… I mean… wow, this is hard.” She drained the last of her coffee and set the flowered mug on the table between them. “Do you ever think we rushed into getting back together?”
Staring blankly into the overgrown ravine beyond, he shrugged. “Yeah. Probably.”
Her shoulders relaxed. “I mean, I was so excited that you were back home, but hated why. At first, I thought you needed time to adjust. Not that I expect you to feel even remotely normal yet; you have so much to process. But it’s been months and things haven’t changed.”
“I know.”
“When we were kids, I think we were only apart when you were at away games. I don’t know what I was expecting this time around. Something along those lines, I guess. But I’ve hardly seen you. You didn’t even know what day my flight leaves, and certainly haven’t offered to drive me to the airport.”
“I can take you to the airport.”
“That’s not what I meant.” She sighed, leaning her elbows onto the table between them.
Recognizing she needed more, he turned toward her. “Look, Trace, I know what you meant. You’re right. I’m not the guy I was. We’re not the people we used to be. We were pretty great in high school, but a lot’s happened since then.”
She lit up as he said the words she must have been chewing on for days. “Exactly. I mean, when I get back, we can talk more and see where we’re at. But, well, I don’t want to be apart all summer, both of us thinking we need to keep this going. I know the timing is terrible. You’re still grieving your mother and floundering from leaving football and coming home. I also think that’s part of the problem. You don’t need one more thing on your plate, and I think that’s what I’ve been. One more ball in the air.”
Actually, he was a pretty damn good juggler. But she might be right. Maybe after he settled in, got his own place, found his routine, the spark might re-ignite. Doubtful, but possible. “Thanks for being there for me through all of this. You’re right. I don’t have the capacity to be involved right now. You deserve someone that can prioritizeyou. And that’s not me. I love you, just not the way I did before.”
Air flowed easily in and out through her lungs, and he watched as she sat up, that gentle smile widening to amused. “You’re such an ass.”
“What?” He sat up straighter, laughing in utter confusion as she smiled while seeming to insult him.
“Here I am, dumping you, days before I skip town, while you’re going through the worst grief. Don’t let me off the hook way so easy.” She nudged him under the table like she had in the old days to let him know she was messing with him. “Can you at least pretend to be furious with me? Yell and throw things?”
He chuckled with her, then adopted a comical glower. “Dammit Trace. Don’t crush me like this, you heartless bitch.” He nudged her back. “There, is that better?”
She laughed and sat up higher, contorting her amusement with an angry face. “Screw you, Finn.”
“There. Now we can call it a real break-up.” Smiling, he stood and held his hand out for her.
Trace accepted and let him pull her up, but she dropped his hand and wrapped her arms around him in a bear hug. “I am going to miss you.”
Hugging her back, he rested his cheek against her wild strawberry blond hair. “I’ll miss you too. Enjoy your adventure this summer.”
She pinched his side and pulled away. “I’ll call you when I get back. Stay out of trouble.”
Strolling down the garden path, a swing in her hips, he watched his oldest friend walk out of his life again. They’d always be friends, but the wave of relief rushing from his lungs told him they’d made the right decision.
2
Line of Scrimmage
“Nowthatyou’rehome,we will expect to see you for family dinner the first Sunday of every month. Grady has insisted we alternate, so I am sure you’ll want to be included in the rotation, when you feel ready to entertain.” Patricia held her hand on the car door, the sun’s rays casting a blinding reflection on her platinum hair. “Your stepfather refuses to miss football, lord knows why, so you’ll want to get your cable hooked up before they start airing anything.”
