~
A god-awful buzzing sound woke Ronan fromanother vicious nightmare. Benadryl effectively knocked him outwhen he couldn’t fall asleep, but it couldn’t hold back the swathof nightmares that terrorized him. Every fucking night.
The buzzing started again. Dammit. Frontdoor. Whoever it was, he or she clearly wasn’t getting the message.He glanced at the glowing green clock. Yikes, one in the afternoon.He’d tossed and turned since three that morning, when he’d given upand popped the Benadryl.
Throwing back the crumpled sheets, Ronandragged himself out of bed and tossed on his only sweatpants.Hobbling slowly, his joints aching like he was 79 rather than 29,he headed for the door.
“Okay, okay, I’m coming,” he croaked. Wasthat him? He hadn’t spoken aloud in two or three days and was sodehydrated he hardly recognized his own voice.
“Open the door little bro,” hollered his twinsister from the other side of the door. Maddy, of course. Sevenminutes older, and she still held it over him. No one else would beso damn persistent, not caring that he didn’t want company.
Before opening the door, he quickly took downhis makeshift fishing line alarm system. He knew he was safe; onlya small handful at CIA knew that he was alive, and even fewer knewhis real identity, but he just couldn’t seem to break the habit.Unlocking the deadbolt, he opened the door to find his twin sisteron the other side, shoving a steaming cup of black coffee in hisface.
She shook her head as she looked him over,“Still haven’t gotten around to a haircut or at least shaving offthat ridiculous beard? You know, some guys can pull off the GrizzlyAdams, but they actually maintain the bushy thing.”
Knowing she wouldn’t be deterred, he acceptedthe coffee and motioned her in. Making herself useful, she headedstraight back into his bedroom. Blankets in a tangle, pillowseveral feet away from the bed, she started by grabbing the wholebunch in her arms and heading for the laundry.
Ronan leaned against the master bathroomdoorway, watching his sister return from the laundry room and startruthlessly cleaning his bedroom, complaining the entire time. “Itstinks in here. Have you showered lately? You were so tidy andcivilized and well-spoken since before you hit puberty, I’m justnot sure what to make of this new Ronan.” Without expecting ananswer, she continued her cleaning rampage.
“Things change,” he growled. He just didn’tcare anymore.
What good was being perfect when your headwas full of secrets and lies, a body full of bullet holes. Nofuture. Resume empty, as he couldn’t be honest about anything thathe had accomplished in the last 9 years. What might he say?College dropout. Great at lying, breaking into places, listeningin on conversations. Effective in taking down terroristorganizations…? Sara had offered him a desk job, but he justcouldn’t stomach it.
Room acceptably tidy, Maddy finally stoppedmoving. About time; she was making him dizzy. “I love you. I missedyou like crazy,” she sighed, voice softer, “I know you can’t talkabout everything you went through. I know you feel like you gaveup. I know that you’re in pain.”
Her expression was somber as she looked overthe many scars covering his bare torso. “But… you survived. You’rehome now. I’d like to get to know you again. I don’t expect you toknow what to do and feel like you fit right in. That will taketime. Can you start by letting your family in now and again?”
Shit. She always could get under his skin.“Yeah Maddy, I’ll try.”
She stared him down, trying to determine ifhe were telling the truth. Funny, as not even his twin sister wouldknow if he were lying or not. He hadn’t told many truths in thelast few years. She was nearly cross-eyed staring him down, tryingto read him.
A half smile crossed his lips, and he spreadhis arms openly in surrender. “As you can see, isolating myselfisn’t exactly helping to clear my head, so yes, I’ll try to get outmore.”
With a grin, she grabbed back the now-emptycoffee mug from his hands and gently pushed him into the bathroom.“Great. You can start by showering. I brought some of Chase’sclothes that were bound for donation, as you appear to have littlemore than a pair of sweatpants in your entire backpack-sizedwardrobe,” she eyed him in his ragged sweats and bare chest. “I’mnot sure how well they’ll fit as he’s broader, but they’ll workuntil you get around to shopping. Now, I’m setting out clothes foryou for tonight. You’re on your own to finish washing your sheetsand making the bed.”
She dashed out to her car and re-appeared afew moments later with a small box of clothes and a few morecovered on a hanger.
Still shocked at her efficiency, he hadn’tbudged from his perch against the bathroom doorway. “Tonight?”
“Sorry, I should have mentioned sooner. Momand Dad are hoping to show you off at the gallery opening tonight;they already bought you a ticket. The gallery in town bought outand remodeled the old chapel on Beachside Street and are having a‘gala’ tonight. I tried to talk her out of it, knowing that was toobig of a step for you, but Mom has already told all of her friendsthat you’ll be there.”
Maddy’s look was pained, and he somehowdidn’t mind her sympathy. Must be a twin thing, as he hated it fromeveryone else. Maybe it was because she knew him so well, evenstill. He appreciated that his twin sister knew he wasn’t ready tobrave a big crowd. She’d never liked crowds either.
“That’s ok. I’ll go, but I doubt I’ll staylong. I’ll meet you there so I can sneak out when I getoverwhelmed.”
She gave him the details. At least he had afew hours to prepare. He watched as she opened the garment bag andhung a tuxedo over the back of the bedroom door. Cringing, hescoffed, expression one of pure horror, “I am not wearing a tux. Idon’t do tuxedos.”
Maddy laughed at him. “Sorry, pal. It’s aformal event. Black tie. I tucked the ticket into the chest pocket.The tux should fit you pretty well - I had Aiden try it on first.Besides, you can pretend to be James Bond,” she teased, ahalf-hearted attempt to get him to smile.
Ronan rolled his eyes and found himselfsmiling with her, while begrudgingly accepting his fate. “Fine. Nowget out of here, I’m hopping in the shower. Thanks for the coffee.And the clothes.”
His dad had bought himself a new truck lastsummer, but fortunately had fixed up his old pick-up that had a fewmiles left in it. He’d given it to Ronan as a little welcome homegift. Not his style, but he was glad to have his own wheels.Actually, he really wasn’t sure what his style was anymore.
Now, he was being clothed in Chase’shand-me-downs. He’d have to get off his ass and start doing thingsfor himself. Not that he didn’t appreciate having the cushion toland on, but he hated feeling so helpless.
After a hot shower, Ronan felt a bit cleanerand almost revived. He pulled his wet hair into the neatestponytail he could manage, but a few strays kept falling out. Thebeard was a no-win situation. Hated the thing, was damn itchy andalways in the way, but it was easy to hide behind.
Checking the mirror, he eyed the nasty scarsMaddy had painfully gawked at. Yeah, they were pretty gnarly.They’d heal with time and match his other assortment of wounds. Hisdamn shoulder was stiff, his hip ached.
