“Never mind,” she teased. Wiping clean withher napkin, she crumpled up her garbage and finally opened thebeer.
Ronan grabbed her plate and took it into thecabin. She watched him walk away, then her eyes landed on Maddy andChase. Chase still drove, and Maddy still snuggled up beside him.Not realizing they were being watched, she witnessed Chase turn hisface to Maddy and steal a brief but incredibly sensual kiss.Whycouldn’t it be that easy?
From across the tiny aisle, Aiden interruptedher thoughts, “Can’t it be?”What? Payson looked at him likehe was nuts. “Pace, you talk out loud when you’re tired.”
Feeling foolish, she laughed at herself andtook a swig of her beer. “Sure Mr. Commitment. How easy are youfinding it?”
Rolling his eyes, Aiden scoffed, “Love? Icouldn’t give a flying fuck about love, so, yeah, I’m finding itincredibly easy tonotfall in love.” Leaning back in hisseat, long legs stretched out nearly to hers across the aisle, hesmirked back at her.
“Why didn’t I see it before? Who was she andhow did she shatter your heart so completely?” Payson knew hewouldn’t say, but she couldn’t help firing back after his sarcasm.Knowing she was right.
With a sneer, not at her, but at a memory, heretorted, “Does it have to be just one? There are many out therewho proved to me that love is a bunch of bullshit. Not worth theeffort.”
Defensively, Payson set her beer in thenearby cupholder and leaned across the aisle and glared at herfriend. “It’s not bullshit. Look at your parents, at your sisterand your best friend… that’s a beautiful thing and we all shouldhope to be so lucky. I’ve been fascinated by love since before Iunderstood the concept, and a disillusioned heartbreaker like youisn’t going to ruin that for me.”
Aiden fired back, their voices growing louderwith each retort, “And what, my brother, drowning in PTSD, fixeshimself up a bit and suddenly has your attention? Are you going tograb hold and then dump him when you realize he doesn’t quite reachthe perfect pedestal you’ve created? Like you did with Clive?”
“You don’t have the slightest idea what’sgoing on,” her fists clenching at her sides, her body stiff withfiery outrage. “I had hoped so desperately to love Clive, but itjust wasn’t there, so I ended it before we were both stuck in aloveless marriage.
“Your wounded, but very resilient brother, isstronger than you think. I started falling for him a long whilebefore he cut his hair. If you looked a little closer, you’d seeit’s not just a shave and a haircut that’s different about himtoday.”
Shit, she hadn’t meant to say any of that outloud, especially not here. Looking around, Payson saw Ronanstanding in the cabin doorway, having witnessed the entireconversation. Maddy and Chase politely looked back at the water.And, thank goodness Frank and Laura were still in the cabin. Theyprobably heard the whole thing, but at least they weren’t there towitness her embarrassingly revealing, impassioned defense of theiryoungest son.
Stupid boats. She was never getting back on astupid boat again. Where did one go after saying something sostupid? She debated leaving the heated part of the deck to sit allalone on the back bench in the windy, freezing weather, but didn’tthink frostbite would help her humiliation.
…
That wasn’t exactly what Ronan had expectedto hear when he came out of the cabin. He knew Aiden and Payson hadbeen friends, but he’d never seen them fight. He’d actually neverseen a woman fight for him before, stand up for him like that.
Not sure what to think, he froze in place.Did she really see him so clearly? Humbled the hell out of him thatshe saw beyond the superficial changes. She’d known him for amatter of weeks, and already placed him higher above any of theassholes she’d dated before.
Legs going a bit weak, heart racing, Ronanfought the panic attack brewing within. Not because she’dpractically declared her love for him, that actually sounded…amazing. No one had ever loved him, other than his family ofcourse. The pressure, the responsibility that came with it was morethan he could carry right now. Yeah, he’d awoken feeling like hisold self again today, but the self-assurance was waning.
Holding onto the back of Maddy’s seat, Ronaninhaled slowly, held, released. Fuck, tunnel vision coming in.Payson saw the blood rushing from his face and immediately stood.Dammit, not now. Not when she’d been defending him.
She took his hand in hers and led him back totheir couch. She opened the small window, directing the glacial airto blow right in his face, remembering how the cool air had soothedhim before. The cold helped, but not as much as her hand in his.Pressing her cheek against his, she whispered reassuring nothingsin his ear as his breathing slowed to a calmer rhythm.
Vision clearing, he glanced up to see thatAiden had disappeared, giving him the space he’d known his troubledbrother had needed. Grateful, Ronan made a mental note to have achat with his brother later, let him know what was going on withhim. They hadn’t been close since well before he’d moved away, butit was time for that to change.
Time to correct many of his past mistakes,particularly his relationship with his family. For now, he turnedtoward Payson and captured her mouth with his own. Icy air stillblowing on him, the feel of her lips against his filled him withdelicious sensation, an inferno brewing under the surface.
15
“Land ho!” Hollered a voice from up front. Aidenstood in the aisle, looking out the windshield, peering out at NewSussex approaching.
Laura laughed, as only a mother would at herson’s lame joke. “Oh, my dear boy.” She shook her head at her son.Maddy was driving now, Chase readying the lines and bumpers fordocking. Frank was leaning back in his chair, finishing a beer andallowing the younger generation to take over.
“Thanks for laughing Mom. At least someoneappreciates quality humor.” Aiden shook his head, still smiling athis own joke, and headed into the cabin to pack up. The family madea good team, all well-trained and jumping into whatever role theyneeded to play.
Payson, feeling quite brave in the boat now,stood and held one hand on the back of Laura’s seat, her other handgripped across the aisle on the back of Chase’s empty seat. Theisland-town was starting to come into view as they approached.Ronan moved in behind her, one hand gripping the seat next to them,and his other sliding around her waist to hold her close, his bodypressed up against her own.
If she’d carried any hope of keeping thingsbetween them private, it was long gone after today. Frank glancedback and gave her a knowing wink. Better not screw this up. Ronanhad been struggling until today. Yeah, his rather prominent ego nowblossomed, but she feared it wouldn’t take much for him to fallback to the lost soul he’d been the day she’d met him.
What if she let him down? That panic attackhad been no joke; he’d looked like he was about to faint. Ofcourse, she’d caused the panic. She’d been in the middle of sayingshe preferred Ronan to any man she’d ever even hoped to love… whenhe’d gone pale.
Dammit, she was already blowing it. Typical,she finally finds someone that stirs something inside her, and eventhe mention of her feelings drives him into a panic attack.Shutting up her own anxiety, she focused on their fun plans for theweekend.
“I’ve never been to New Sussex, is it astouristy as Seaview?” Payson was looking forward to seeing thetown. She hadn’t gotten out of Seaview much lately.
