Shit, what did she do? Maybe that wasn’t adream. A look of horror crossed her face, “Please say we didn’thave sex.”
“You don’t have to look so disgusted by theidea. You seemed to enjoy yourself,” he teased, holding her lookfor a minute as she looked panicked. “No, we didn’t have sex.”
“Phew. I’m not disgusted by the idea… I meanyou’re not unattractive… I mean, ack, I don’t know what I mean.”What was wrong with her? She was turning into a babbling mess,again.
Ronan’s look was no longer teasing, smilegone. He slowly paced toward her, until his body was pressedagainst hers.Thatshe remembered.
Her eyes locked onto his. The haunted lookthat kept plaguing him was gone, and in exchange was the arrogant,devilish charm she’d witnessed at the rec center. With a slightangle of his head and a look that burned into her, he asked, “Doyou remember yet?”
“You may have to refresh my memory.”
Bringing his hands up, he softly ran hishands through her hair. His hand settled on the back of her neck,and he pulled her close. She had to stand on her tiptoes to reachhim, but he met her halfway. Patiently, he waited with his lips abreath away from her own. “Anything yet?”
“Maybe...”
His other hand clutched her hip and pulledher against him. Hungrily, he kissed her. Desperately,passionately, nothing held back. Their tongues parried in atimeless duel, a soft moan escaping her lips that only deepened hiskiss.
Ronan’s hand shifted and subtly slid herdress upward until he pressed his palm against her bare ass. Gladshe’d skipped the tights and worn that flimsy thong. His other handjoined in; gripping her tight, he hiked up her dress and set her onthe sturdy table he’d just finished building. Thoughtfully, he’dset her on his sweatshirt so she didn’t end up with sawdust in asensitive area.
Hands encircling her waist, he positionedhimself between her open thighs, holding her tightly pressedagainst him. His mouth strayed down her neck, giving her a gentlenip here and there, which he soothed with a soft lick of histongue. “You smell so good.” Payson couldn’t hold back; enthralledwith sensations she’d never felt before, afire from the blaze hewas igniting within her.
She slipped her dress down over her arms,revealing her breasts that were straining against the delicateblack lace. He groaned appreciatively and ripped the flimsy fabricand tossed what was left of the bra, mouth on her before the lacehit the floor.
Gently caressing, kissing, nipping, helavished each breast with attention. She arched her back and criedout in pleasure.
Abruptly, he pulled back, leaving her halfnaked and cold, the distance between them growing like they were onopposite sides of a vast canyon. A look of anger crossed his face,his hand running through his hair in frustration. “I’m sorry, Ishouldn’t have done that. We really can’t.”
With a huff of irritation, she pulled herstraps up to cover herself, yet she still felt naked. “What do youmean we can’t?”
He started pacing back and forth. “We can’tdo this. Every time I get close to you, I lose control. You don’teven like me, at least, you shouldn’t. I’m a grouch and a damnmess. We are not even each other’s type. Gregory may not be theone, but neither am I. You’re looking for James Bond. I’m broken, adamn timebomb; look at me. Trust me, you don’t want to go therewith me.” He gestured to his wild hair and grubby clothes, arms outin demanding question.
Fired up, Payson hopped down from the table,not even caring if she ripped her dress on the way down. Shestarted firing back at him before she’d even fixed the rest of herdress. “Yeah? I guess you have me all figured out. Did you see memaking out with the successful stud in the nice suit, or was I inhere with the irritable, scruffy, hired hand? I’ll decide who andwhat I want. I know you’re scared, but you don’t scare me.”
Fuming, she stormed out the door, leaving himalone to figure it out.
13
Ronan tossed off the last of the blankets at six thenext morning, drenched in sweat from a long sleepless night. Hissoul flooded with self-loathing, growing worse after each nightmaregrew increasingly horrific. Again. They hadn’t haunted him the pastfew nights, but going to bed angry at himself had broughteverything to the surface.
Maybe he should buy some whiskey and stand achance at getting some sleep. Although, stuck in a drunkennightmare sounded so much worse. Benadryl wasn’t doing shitanymore. His phone chirped with a text from Payson:Don’t worryabout coming in today.
What was that all about? She was pissed; he’dgive her space, but he hadn’t even finished the job. He textedback,OK. I’ll pick up the sanding material and stain tomorrow,then I’ll be out of your hair soon.Maybe he should have leftoff the last bit, but if she was going to be pissy, he would betoo.
His phone chirped again. Really? Were theygoing to have a text fight?
Nope, not from Payson, but from his dad.Can you call me as soon as you’re up?
Ronan calmed his rage a bit so he could callhis dad without biting his head off. Forcing a smile, he responded,“Hey Dad, what’s up?”
Frank’s husky, yet gentle voice echoed back,“Sorry if I woke you.”
“No worries. I was already up.” Had been upmost of the night. It was almost worse getting a few good nights ofsleep. Somehow the bad nights felt more exhausting when he knewwhat good sleep felt like.
“Your mom has planned a little winter boatadventure. Thought we’d grab our children and cruise on up to NewSussex Island. Spend a nice day on the water, then spend theevening roaming around New Sussex. She’s made reservations for anice dinner together and booked a few rooms at a little B&Bright near the docks. You kids can stay in the fancy rooms, and sheand I will camp out in the boat.”
“I’m not sure you can consider your boatcamping.” He thought of the good-sized Hinckley he’d seen picturesof, upgraded from the older model he’d spent his childhood cruisingin. Hell, it was big enough that they could all camp out insleeping bags on the boat like they did when they were kids. But,he’d rather his family not watch him toss and turn all night,periodically screaming with tears streaming down his face.
“Fair point. What do you say?” Frank wouldn’tbe pushy, as he wanted his son to join them because he wanted tocome, not because he felt obligated. He sounded so hopeful; Ronancouldn’t have said no for anything.
