They stood together for what felt likeforever. When the rain started to fall, Chase let go of her waistand took her hand in his. "I'm ready, let's get out of here." Shelet him lead her back to their cars.
"Need some space, or would you like to comeon over? I'll make you a sandwich and we can sit on the deck andwatch the storm brewing over the waves," Maddy offered.
"That sounds perfect, I'll meet youthere."
For the second time since Chase had beenback, he followed her into town at a respectable distance. Sheglanced in her rearview, wishing she could see his face. She hadn'tbeen sure how he would react when she arrived at the cemetery, butnow she was glad she'd come.
A short while later, Chase and Maddy sat sideby side, curled up together on the porch swing, watching the wavesand the quiet beach, as promised. The rain picked up, and thetemperature had dropped. Still, it was pleasant to be outside,under the covered part of the deck. Maddy had brought out blanketsto keep warm.
She'd started the morning with a plan toseduce Chase, but she had comfortably accepted that today was notthe day and enjoyed the quiet with him. Chase's long legs stretchedout and rested on the railing, gently rocking them. Maddy leanedagainst him, his arm around her shoulder.
***
Chase slowed the rocking of the swing. It wastime for truths, and maybe, just maybe, she'd open up about whathad happened while he'd been away. "Maddy, I need to know. Whathappened... with Dylan? I hate that neither Aiden, nor I were therefor you when you needed help. Not that you weren’t perfectlycapable of taking care of yourself, but I wish I’d been there.Dammit, what kind of brother was Ronan?” Ronan had been friendswith Dylan. But, how could Ronan let his own sister go out withsuch an asshole?
Maddy took a few slow deep breaths. "First ofall, don't you dare blame yourself for not protecting me. I made mychoices and should have protected myself better. You know Ronan wasin his own world, just waiting to get out of this town, maybe evenmore than you. I don't even know what country he's in these days.It wasn’t until we got to college that it became so much worse,when none of you were around."
With a sigh, Maddy scooted further away fromChase on the swing. He watched her shift a pillow behind her backand she swung her legs up, now sitting sideways on the swing,tucking her feet under him. Her feet were freezing. Chase pulledthe blanket over them both and tucked the blanket around hergoose-bumped legs.
Not wanting to push her beyond her comfort,he listened patiently. He looked out at the beach and watched acouple jogging past. They synchronously waved cheerfully. Whoeverthey were, Chase politely waved back.
Finally, she continued. "You and Aiden wereon a path to self-destruction. I appreciated that you didn't dragme along when it got rough, but it wasn't just you that pulledaway. I'd decided to become a judge like Mom and wanted to be sureI had a nice, clean reputation. I added more and more classes atthe community college through running start so I could get a jumpon my future. It took a while before Dylan finally made hismove.
“He was quite the gentleman, very devoted.He'd escort me to class, call me beautiful, brought me flowers.Breaking me in was a slow process. It started with smallcriticisms. 'Maddy, you wouldn't look so tired with a littlemake-up... you should wear a push up bra, so you have morecurves... of course you're not as smart as I am because you’re agirl...'"
Chase silently cringed, having some idea ofwhere this was leading.
"My self-esteem gradually worsened: I was'frigid' and ‘homely’ and, I 'wasn't capable of orgasm,' so ofcourse I was so lucky I had someone understanding like Dylan to bewith. I 'wasn't smart enough to make my own decisions', I was'socially inept so I shouldn't talk much' in socialsituations...
"I knew better, but it's hard to realizeyou're drowning when you’re being pulled under so gradually." Maddypaused to collect her thoughts. She maintained a blank expression,eyes dry. "Every time I tried to pull away, he'd lavish me withpraise and tell me he couldn't live without me. He threatenedsuicide a few times so I wouldn’t leave. I put up with him for waytoo long. Eventually, mid-way through our freshmen year at collegetogether, I'd had enough. He hadn't."
Chase could feel his face heating with anger.His fists clenched. He imagined tearing Dylan apart limb fromlimb... dick first. He'd tack it to the old oak tree in the centerof town square, a warning for all other dickheads.
Knowing there was more, Chase tried to calmdown for her. Her courage was incredible. She must have felt soalone, her family and friends so far away.
He gently took her hand. "Maddy, you don'thave to say more if you don't want to. Just tell me what youneed."
She sniffled and avoided eye contact, onlybriefly letting emotion show. Recovering quickly, she continued."Thanks, but I can do this. It's part of who I am today.
"I started to secretly plan transferringschools the following semester. I applied to several pre-lawprograms at universities across the country, and was set to get in.My grades were excellent. I had always been a model student. I hadgreat recommendations. But I was so scared. I knew he would findout; he always found things out. And, he did," Maddy paused,pulling her arms further in, face impassive. Chase’s heart achedwatching her stoicism as she told her horrible tale.
"He didn't say anything to me, not directly.He pretended he didn't know anything, so I didn't realize he'dfound out my plan. He'd taken pictures of us, mostly of me. Verypornographic. I hadn't even known he was taking them. He sent thosephotos to all the schools I had applied to, with inappropriatenotes of the things I was willing to do to be accepted into theirprograms. My rejection letters came next; some simply stating Iwasn't a good fit for their program, others more direct. I knewhe'd track me down and ruin any chance I had at a career in thepublic eye.
"One afternoon, while he was at class, Ipacked up my things and snuck out the back door of the dorms. Hemust have anticipated and was waiting for me at my car. I waslucky. No broken bones, but I sustained some pretty big contusionsall over my body. It took weeks to recover from theconcussion."
"Oh Maddy, I'm so sorry. I wish I'd beenthere for you." Chase leaned over and wiped the single tear thathad fallen down her cheek.
"Don't blame yourself. Aiden blames himselfalready, which I think is why he's still so protective of me. Myparents tried to get me to come back home, but I refused. I movedto Seattle where I could start fresh; transferred to University ofWashington. I already had a lot of my required coursework done,with all the running start I’d done in high school, so I stillwould graduate ahead of schedule. I got a job doing clerical workat a police station. I trained hard in martial arts. There was noway I would let anyone have that power over me again, emotionallyor physically."
She turned toward him and finally looked himin the eye again. Her icy blue eyes were full of fire; he adoredthat about Maddy. "Most importantly, I started to like myselfagain. Nearly immediately, I found I loved the police department;stopping violence as it happened rather than long after the fact.So, I changed my major and studied criminal justice, worked my wayto detective with the Seattle PD. And, eventually, I came backhere."
Chase raised her feet and slid toward her onthe bench, setting her legs back on his lap. He wrapped his armsaround her and rested his chin on her head. "Thank you for tellingme. Please, don't be mad if I'm a bit overly protective." Maddynodded, her hair brushing against his chin. He pulled away andlooked her in the eye, "I'm serious Maddy. I know you can handleyourself, but please don't go anywhere near him. Do you have analarm system in your house?"
"I've made enough mistakes when it comes toDylan. I have a security company coming out tomorrow to do acomplete install. State of the art. I started researching and putin the order the day I ran into him in town."
Neither knew how long they sat together afterthat. The sun eventually started to set. It had been an emotionalday for both. Maddy walked Chase to the door. Wanting more, butknowing it wasn't the time, Chase pulled Maddy in and pressed hislips softly against hers. It was tough to pull away. She leanedagainst the open doorway and watched him drive off into theblustering wind.
16
