Her face fell, “You’re leaving tomorrow, aren’t you?”
He nodded.
“I’ll go get changed and crash on his couch.”
“No, I should go. That’s the whole reason I dragged him up here. Guy hasn’t let himself feel a damn thing since that op.”
“What happened?”
“It was right before I got out. Zane and I crossed the street to check out a stupid hunch. Jack and the other guys waited behind. Their building got hit. A lot of them didn’t make it. Jack did, but he didn’t walk again, then, well, you know, he passed a few weeks ago. Zane and I… not more than a scratch between us.” Asher’s teeth gritted together, a darkness heavy over his expression.
“And Zane just got out, right?”
“Wasn’t even out two days when he got the call about Jack.”
Freya stepped close and hugged her cousin. Even overseas, she’d tracked his whereabouts, not sleeping while she knew he was deployed, celebrating every return. As had his sister and his parents and aunts and uncles. Zane didn’t have any of that. “You go crawl back in bed with Sophie. I’ll get changed and crash on Zane’s couch. Sort of my fault that he’s drunk anyway.” She backed away to head toward her bedroom to change.
Feet locking in place, Asher asked, “Your fault?”
“Yeah. I, well, I sort of kissed him. And he kissed me. A lot. And then we keep agreeing on how that’s a dumb idea.”
“What? When?”
“Um, pretty much every time we’ve said so much as, ‘hello’ to each other.” She felt her cheeks go red as she recalled every touch. His hands on her, his mouth. Damn, he was a really, really good kisser.
“Okay, so he implied something about he liked you, therefore he wasn’t going to do anything about it. Now you’re saying the same stupid thing. What is wrong with you people?”
“From what it sounds like, he fell in love once and it was awful and he’s not risking it again. I, on the other hand, have been in love many times, and always manage to get my heart broken because I’m too caught up to see the forest for the trees. I’m not getting engaged again. Fool me once, you know. Fool me three times, and I fold.”
Asher winced, letting out a less-than-sympathetic laugh. “I’m sorry. But… can I be there to watch when you two get your heads out of your asses and realize that’s a load of bullshit?”
“I’m not risking getting tied up again.”
Asher grinned wickedly. “You might like it.”
She rolled her eyes. “Shut up. You know what I mean. You and Sophie have found this great balance. Not everyone has that ability.”
“You’re scared. And that’s not like you.”
“I am scared. Of getting my heart broken. Again. I’m tapped out.”
“Just keep telling yourself that. Randy was convenient, that wasn’t love. I didn’t get to meet Vince or Giovanni, but trust me, Zane is twice the man they are.”
“He is a good guy, I can feel that. But–”
Asher shook his head. “Nope. Stop arguing with yourself. You do what you need to do to protect yourself, and Zane will do the same. Do me a favor? Don’t fight it, and see what it can be like with a good guy.”
She smiled, “You’re a good guy, too. Sophie’s lucky.”
“I know,” he winked. “Goodnight.”
Freya tugged off her heels and carried them back to her bedroom. She slipped off the pretty black dress she’d stolen from Sophie’s closet, quite a bite shorter and fitted on her than it was on Sophie, but she didn’t mind showing a little leg. Pulling on yoga pants and an old t-shirt, she slid her feet into an easy pair of sandals and packed a bag with a change of clothes, toothbrush, hairbrush, and grabbed a pillow and blanket, unsure if he had the basics yet. Not exactly the overnight she’d been picturing with him; with how drunk he was, she might be there half of tomorrow too, if he hadn’t sobered up yet or slept with his head over the toilet bowl.
Crossing through the blue glow over the driveway, she quietly entered his apartment and set her bag by the couch, quickly throwing together a makeshift bed. Before crawling into the blankets, she checked on Zane, finding him out cold, mouth open.
Watching him sleep on top of the blankets, his long limbs sprawled and making the queen-sized mattress look like a toddler bed, she resisted to the nagging hollow in the pit of her stomach, aching to get crawl in with him and make everything okay. To make sure he knew that he was a good guy. One of the best, she suspected.
Scowling, she kicked herself, dragging herself back to the couch. Dropping onto the cushion, she punched her pillow fluffy and threw the blanket over her legs. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. She was doing it again. What was wrong with her? A few good kisses with a gorgeous man, and she was flashing forward to snuggling and white picket fences, not giving a damn what it did to her.
