Sophie liked Freya’s description better.“Thank you, Freya. You may be my new best friend. See Pip? I’mselective, not a settler.”
Pippa shrugged. “Fine. As you sent the boysaway, now you have to plan the bachelorette party.”
Sophie considered for a moment. “Do you wanta bachelorette party before we meet up with the guys? Won’t it justbe the three of us?”
“You were kidding about the stripper, right?”Pippa’s distaste was clear.
She considered teasing but was running out ofsteam. “Yes, totally kidding. How about we just head to Ahab’safter the bridal shower, be silly just the three of us until theboys join us?”
“Perfect. But you still have to wear thehokey wedding party tank tops I bought you.”
Sophie grumbled. Freya scowled but didn’tmove from her comfy spot.
“Hey, I got caught up in the moment at thatbridal fair. They’re purchased so you’re stuck with them.” Thistime, Freya sent a halfhearted splash at Pippa.
9
T-Minus 10 Days
Sophie hated bridal showers. Pippa’s Aunt Tammy hadrequired full participation in every ridiculous game. As the maidof honor, it wouldn’t have looked good if she’d bowed out. She madethe mandatory toilet paper bridal gown (which she lost), completedthe timeline about Pippa and Lincoln’s relationship (which shewon), and endured a polite sampling of those nasty pastel mintsthat don’t quite fully dissolve in your mouth then get stuck inyour teeth for hours.
Flashing before her eyes, her futureterrified her. “Pip, please don’t let Tammy throw your baby showerwhen the day comes. I’m not smelling melted candy bars in babydiapers.” Buckling into her CR-V, she ensured Pippa and Freya weresettled before she started the engine and shifted into gear.
Groaning, Pippa pouted audibly in agreement.“If you dibs it now, we can hopefully avoid the otherwiseinevitable shower games.”
From the backseat, Freya laughed. “Theyweren’t that bad. We all giggled and got to know Pippa andLincoln’s magical love life better.”
Turning around in her seat, Pippa shoteye-daggers at her cousin. “You didn’t plan any bachelorette partygames, did you? You’re not like your mother with party games,right?”
“Just a few. Not to worry, they’re fun andwill help us get to know each other in a less PG way. I did buy youa penis crown as well.” Freya leaned into her purse and withdrewsaid crown.
Pippa laughed out loud and put on her specialcrown of phalluses. “This alleviates any guilt I have about thebridesmaid tank tops I’m making you wear.” She gestured to theirskintight black tank tops with pink sparkly writing indicatingtheir roles, Sophie as the Maid of Honor and Freya as Bridesmaid.Pippa had worn her own white with gold sparkly letters indicatingthat she was the Bride.
“These rather announce to the world, look atmy sparkly breasts that are trying to bust out of this thin jerseycotton, don’t they?” Freya looked down and admired the sparkles.“Think the boys have similar shirts?”
Rolling her eyes, Pippa snorted indelicately.“Hell no. Lincoln considered it, Grady would have gone along withit if he had to, but Asher refused outright.”
Freya leaned forward and nudged Pippa, “ThinkAsher’s bummed no stripper? Didn’t he sleep with the stripper atMark’s bachelor party? What was it, like his first trip home fromthe navy?”
Pippa groaned, “Why did you have to remind meof that? Mark had a fit. The stripper charged double when sherealized Asher had no interest in actually dating her.”
Sophie neatly avoided the conversation. Sheknew Asher had a history, and she knew it was bad. Had he been somesort of sex addict? Or just a slut?
Still leaning between them from the backseat,Freya whispered, even though it was still just the three of themand Asher wasn’t around to hear, “Is he okay? Mom says he hasn’tbeen leaving the house much since he got home, what, a month or twoago? Although, consider the source. You know what a gossip Momis.”
Pippa sighed, her worry unmistakable. “Idon’t know. He goes to the VA weekly for therapy; it was twiceweekly at first. He tried some of the meds they prescribed butdidn’t like the side effects.
“I actually don’t think he’s dated in areally long time. When I threatened him about Sophie, he mentionedhe hadn’t even been with a woman in two years.” Pippa shifted topleasantly disappointed, trademarking a whole new emotion that wasuniquely Pippa.
Freya looked shocked. “Two years? Poor guy. Ihaven’t made it that long since I lost my virginity.”
Snorting, Sophie rolled her eyes. “Perhaps ifyou two get stuck in a dating rut like I’ve been in, two yearsmight not sound so bad.”
“That is one of the many perks of beingengaged. On-demand sex.” Pippa waggled her eyebrows and admired herengagement ring comically.
“My vibrator is on demand anytime and doesn’tget tired.” Sophie couldn’t help but throw that one out. Hard toresist when her best friend was crowned with penises.
Nodding in agreement, Freya added, “Excellentpoint, if not quite as satisfying.” Turning to Pippa, she asked,back to Asher, “Do you think he’s grown up or lost interest?”
