“You been crying?”
I sucked in a breath. Jimmy Ray wasn’t anyone’s idea of a father figure, but he’d been good to us. Good to me. I felt myself start to wilt under his kindness, wanting to tell him…
“Because your makeup is smeared,” he said. “Make sure you fix it before you go on, yeah?”
I nodded mutely.
“Thatta girl.”
He smacked my ass lightly, to get me moving, and followed me out of the stairwell, back to the green room where the rest of the band was waiting.
CHAPTER
TWO
They were all dressed in full concert gear: leather, vinyl and lots of chunky costume jewelry. Violet, our bassist, wore her brown hair pulled tight to one side, revealing the small black raven tattooed in the shaved skin of her scalp above her ear. She gave me a nod and flashed me the peace sign.
Lola, my best friend, sat in a deep chair, spinning her drumsticks deftly around her fingers. She jumped up and came to me, peered at my face through shocks of black and electric blue hair. Her dark eyes were sharp, observant and full of concern.
“You okay? Where’d you take off to?”
I was spared answering by Jeannie, our lead singer. She’d been doing her vocal warm-ups but stopped in the middle of a scale.
“What the actual fuck, Kacey?” Her eyes, lined in kohl as black as her skin-tight leather pants, zeroed in on me. She was a pretty gal, our fearless leader, or would be if not for the perpetual constipated look on her face.
I felt the weight of the room on me, heavy and accusatory. I crossed my arms over my chest, affected a pinched, slightly mid-Western older lady voice. “Hello, Jeannie, who’s bothering you now?”
Lola snickered, and Violet muffled a laugh behind her hand.
“Who’s bothering me? You…” Jeannie’s confusion morphed to irritation. “Wait, are you quoting some stupid movie at me again?”
“Stupid?” I gaped dramatically. “Ferris Bueller’s Day Offis nothing short of a classic. A nationaltreasure…”
Jeannie flapped a hand, her bracelets jangling. “Whatever. If you devoted as much time to the band as you do to partying and watching 80’s relics—”
“Come on, Jeannie,” Violet said, with a sigh. “Let’s not start any shit right before the show. She’s here. We’re fashionably late. So what?”
Lola nodded. “Only newbies start a show on time. She’s ready to kick ass, right, Kace?”
“Oh, stop coddling her, for chrissakes,” Jeannie snapped at Lola, and then Jimmy swooped in and pulled her aside, talking soothingly to her in a low voice
Under my breath I said, “Mmm-mmm-mmm, what a little asshole.”
Violet burst out laughing, but Lola’s eyes flickered to my ‘Evian.’ She was a human Breath-a-lizer, that girl. Quickly, I tossed the bottle in the trash before she got wind of its contents and laid another of her patented lectures on me. The vodka had already started to work anyway, putting me one giant step back from reality, as if I were behind a pane of glass.
“Let’s not fight, ladies,” Jimmy chided, bringing Jeannie back to the center of the green room. “Three thousand paid ticket-holders are waiting.”
“He’s right,” Jeannie said, and mustered what we called her Fearless Leader expression: stiff and serious as she eyed us in turn. “We need to get focused and give them the performance of our lives. Circle up.”
We formed a ring in the center of the green room, holding hands, while Jeannie murmured a sort of vague invocation. Violet was a Buddhist, Lola an atheist, so the group prayer wasmore about channeling our energies, being grateful for our opportunities, and getting the four of us in tune with each other so we could play as one cohesive unit.
Was this what I wanted?I mused while Jeannie droned positive affirmations. I suspected the answer was no, but I’d come too far now. Lola was counting on me. If it hadn’t been for her, I’d still be on the streets. She’d taken me in after Chett ditched me, and we’d gotten this gig together. She needed me tonotfuck this up, and I needed tonotbe a fuck up.
“Forget every other show,” Jeannie was saying, her typical closing statements. “Forget we’ve been on the road for months. These fans deserve our best, so let’s go out there and perform as if it were the first day of the tour. Blood, sweat, and tears, ladies.”
We made loud noises of agreement to get amped up, then headed out.
Lola pulled me aside. “Are you okay? For real?”
