His fingers tangled in my hair, and he leaned forward and brought my lips to meet his. The gentle, tender way he kissed me was perfect. But I knew, like every other time, it wouldn’t take long before it turned to more. The passion that blazed between us just seemed to get stronger with every passing day. And I prayed it would never diminish.
Chapter Thirty-Six
SETH
I lookedup at my brother and took the beer bottle he was holding out to me. “Thanks.”
Bringing it to my mouth, I took a long drink as I looked out over his backyard. The last time we were here, I was unsure about what to do about my feelings for Violet. Now, given the events of the day, it was the only thing I was sure about.
He tipped his head toward the door. “Shelby has Dani in the bath now, so want to tell me what the fuck happened today?”
“I told you.” I swallowed before forcing the words out. “Not my baby.”
He huffed. “Yeah, I got that. But also…what the fuck?”
It was a good thing I’d planned to wait until after the appointment to tell my parents. I had hoped we’d get a sonogram picture today that I could take and show them. To say I was grateful I didn’t have to have this same conversation with them too would be an understatement.
“She’s only four months along, not five.”
“So, what? She was trying to use it to get back with you thinking you weren’t going to find out or something?”
I shook my head. “Nah. I don’t think so. She seemed legitimately surprised. Said she hasn’t gotten a period since we were together.” I let my head fall forward as I braced my forearms on my thighs. I knew he wanted all the details, but I really didn’t feel like rehashing the whole experience. “She was apologetic, and even embarrassed by the whole thing.”
The doctor explained missing a period while on birth control for a while was normal. Which we both knew because she skipped quite a few in the time we were together. She even said it was why she didn’t think anything of it until she didn’t have one for three months in a row. But since she and I didn’t use protection while we were together, she’d just assumed it was mine, not the one-night stand she used a condom with. She even asked the doctor if he was sure. What were the chances of birth control pills and a condom failing at the same time?
Apparently crazy shit like that happened more often than people realized.
“So, why do you not seem relieved?”
I should be. I knew most men in my situation probably would be. And if I was being honest, the only woman I saw having my kids was Violet.
“I am...”
“But?”
I didn’t know how to explain what I was feeling, or if he would even understand it. “But I’m also a little disappointed.” I looked up at him. “That’s stupid, right?”
He grabbed the back of his neck and sat down in the chair next to me. His silence told me he didn’t get it.
“Five months ago, I thought I was going to have a wife and a kid at some point.” I pointed the tip of my beer bottle at him. “The life you have.”
The life I’d always imagined for myself. It had been yanked away from me five months ago, and now, in a way, it felt like it had happened again.
“Not all it’s cracked up to be,” Mason mumbled.
“Don’t do that.” I narrowed my eyes at him.
He sighed. “It’s just hard, man.”
“I know.” Did he think I thought it was easy? “But still, you’re lucky.”
“And you’re only twenty-eight, little brother. You have time. Marriage is hard, raising a kid is hard.”
I wanted that life with Violet. And that was the part that I was relieved about. Because she was the one I wanted to marry. To have a family with.
The need to see her—to get lost in her and hold her in my arms—was so overwhelming. But how would I explain the sadness I felt when the doctor confirmed the baby couldn’t be mine. Would Violet understand? Or would she be pissed that I felt that way?
Chapter Thirty-Seven
