“Even in this doomed-to-fail mission, he succeeded.”
“You could have played a pivotal role.And remember, the crew isn’t just Drafe.Yourname’s on the manifest.”She tried to convey the concept of ‘one for all and all for one,’ but somehow, her brain short-circuited and left her scrambling.
“I do not know how to gain honor,” he all but whispered.
Ahh.Now that made sense.“I suppose it’s like bravery.It’s in the moments when you are faced with a choice between honor and inaction.”She shrugged.“Look at me, Ulvus, lost in an unknown world.”Another tear slipped free, but she chose to believe if she couldn’t ‘see’ it then no one else could.“Sometimes death feels preferable to this existence.I used to be so independent with the belief that I could conquer the worlds despite not mattering to my parents.Now, I’m reliant on strangers…like a child.My purpose…the impact I so desperately wanted to make…was gone.Taken from me.”She curled her fingers into fists as if she could rage against the circumstances.Been there.Done that.“Want to know what’s worse?”She laughed through the tears.“My brother did this.”She flicked her hand, indicating her eyes.“Someone I trusted… And I doubt he’s remorseful.”
“Would it matter if he was?”Ulvus asked.
She stilled, imagining Jamie groveling for forgiveness.The idea didn’t bring her pleasure.“Nothing he could say would undo what happened.”
“You need to let it go… Move on.”Ulvus snorted.“Harder to do than to speak it.”
She wiped her cheeks.“True.”Tossing a smile at him, she said, “Look at us fools stuck in the past.If you figure out a way to forgive and forget, let me know.”
“Habits are difficult to break.”
Wise of him to say.“Also true,” she said.“You count to ten before you react.That will give you a chance to choose honor.”
“You rise to your feet.Standing is a step toward action.”
“I can do that,” she said with her legs akimbo.“Now help me up Nenn’s wall.”
Ulvus laughed.“How do I do that when your arms are too weak?”
She slumped.“I was afraid you’d say that.”
“May I?”he asked and took her hand.What followed was a physio-like examination of her arm.“You have the muscles but are too soft.”
She winced.“That’s bad?”she asked, knowing full well it was.
He chuckled.“For climbing, yes.To lure a male, no.”
She scoffed.“If only.I don’t know what I look like anymore.Just memories of my appearance pre-blindness.”
“Qaldreth do not choose mates based on a shifting parameter.”
“Shifting?”She tried not to let her mind run away with that image.They were aliens after all, and who knew if their faces changed on a whim?
“The passing of time alters one’s features.Personality is the true attraction.And had you asked me prior to our talk, I would have said the symbiotes have some impact.I am learning they do not influence one’s hearts.Drafe and Vic prove that though I do not condone their union because of the unknowns.”
She remained silent while she mulled over his words.“As long as they are happy—”
“That too is fleeting.”Ulvus ground his teeth.“Everything he touches—”
“Ah, so out of principle you will protest?”She was starting to understand what made Ulvus tick.
“Yes.It is childish to not think of the possible consequences.I have learned this the hard way.If something bad happens, I can say I warned them, but they did not listen.If nothing goes wrong, then all is well.”
“Covering your bets.I get it.”The need to say, ‘I told you so’ crossed species and galaxies.“They won’t understand or thank you for it.”
“I do not need their gratitude.”
Of that, she had no doubt.It sounded like he did nothing without thinking it through first.“When I go back to Earth, will you come with?”
“You…would like me to?”
Why is he surprised?She smiled.“Sure.Maybe you can find ways to be honorable.”
