I found Hayden in the living room, dressed in one of his many delicious suits. He stood with his back to me, his gaze fixed on the view of the city through the wall of windows.
“Hey,” I said. “How was work?”
He turned to face me. “The usual. How was your day off?”
“I honestly wish I’d had a shift at the hospital. Thatwould have been more relaxing than studying. My brain feels like it’s going to explode.”
Hayden chuckled. “You do know you’re married to a soon-to-be billionaire, right? If you don’t want to take whatever classes have been sucking the life out of you for the past week, you don’t have to.”
If only it were that simple. I’d told Hayden I was taking a certification program to explain the books and trips I’d been taking to Heaven. It also made a good excuse for my mental exhaustion that definitely did not go unnoticed.
“Come here.” Hayden held out a hand to me and, as soon as I took it, tugged me into his chest. “I’m worried about you.”
“I’m fine,” I said in a choked voice that sounded anything but fine.
“Uh-huh. Seriously, is it worth it? I don’t like seeing you so listless.”
“It’s worth it,” I said, resting my head against his chest where I could hear his heart beating steadily.
Hayden rested his cheek against the top of my head. “What can I do to make it better?”
“Just be here.”For as long as possible.
“I’m not going anywhere, baby.”
We stayed like that for a while without speaking while I soaked in his presence, wishing the moment could last forever.
“Can I stay with you tonight?” I whispered.
“You don’t need to ask permission for that; you have an open invitation.”
“Why?”
He pulled back so he could look me in the eye. “What kind of question is that? I want you. I want to keep every promise I made to you in that church three months ago. I want us to be a team against the world. I want to be there for your good days and your bad days. I want to take care of you when you’re sick and celebrate your wins with you. I want to be the person who makes you smile and the shoulder you cry on when you’re sad. I want to believe that this can last forever.”
“But what if you change your mind?”
“I’m not going to change my mind. I don’t believe in marriage, Sunday School—I never wanted to get married, and I’ll never want to marry anyone else—but I do believe in us.”
My breath caught. “There are things you don’t know about me.”
“I know you’re loyal.” He bent to kiss my cheek. “That your family adores you.” He kissed my jaw. “Thatmyfamily adores you.” Kiss. “That you aren’t afraid to call me out on my shit.” Kiss. “That you have no interest in my money or what you can get out of me.” Kiss. “And I know that you make me feel at peace.”
“But—”
“No buts.” His mouth clashed with mine, effectively silencing anything else I could say. Not that I was fighting very hard. Or at all.
Actually I was pretty sure wrapping my arms around his neck and pushing closer was the exact opposite of fighting.
“I don’t want to lose you,” I said when we came up for air.
His arms tightened around me. “You’re not going to lose me. In case I haven’t made it abundantly clear, I don’t give a fuck about our deal. Nine months is not going to be nearly enough time with you.”
“My secrets could put you in danger. What if being with me gets you hurt?”
“Everyone gets hurt by something.”
I pulled back as far as his arms would allow and looked up at him. “You’re not taking me seriously.”
