“You can start by taking a shower—you smell like a brewery. Then you have to decide what you’re willing to do to get her back.”
Anything. I didn’t need to think about it—I’d do fucking anything for that woman. I just wasn’t sure it would be enough.
While Miles cleaned up the empty bottles and pieces of my broken phone in the living room, I took a shower and attempted to make some kind of plan. Danielle had never cared about material things or big romantic gestures—it was one of the things I loved about her, but it meant I couldn’t use either of those things as an apology.
I leaned my forehead against the cool tiles while water poured over my back. Memories of the times I’d been in here with Danielle assaulted my mind and made my chest ache. She should be with me now. Maybe shewould be if I hadn’t been such a hotheaded jerk. I’d promised her she wouldn’t lose me no matter what, and I’d failed to keep that promise at the first obstacle we came across.
Now I had no idea how to prove to her that I was sorry, that I loved her and I’d find a way to do better. A part of me was still tempted to give up, admit defeat. I couldn’t be worthy of Danielle. She deserved better. But she wasmywife, and dammit, I wasn’t letting her go without a fight.
“What do I do?” I whispered, feeling just desperate enough to call out to the God I’d once told Danielle I didn’t believe cared about me. “I know I’ve given you no reason to help me in the past few years, but I’m not asking for me. I’m asking for her. I hurt her, and I want to make it right. Even if she never forgives me, I need her to know that she means everything to me, that I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”
I wasn’t just talking about Danielle anymore. I’d made far more mistakes in my life than walking away from my wife ten days ago. I’d spent years running away from every situation that was hard or painful.
I’d literally run to Europe when I’d learned that Jacqueline’s baby wasn’t mine. I hadn’t even waited around to make sure the baby I’d already fallen halfway in love with was going to be okay and cared for.
I didn’t want Danielle to be the next scar on my heart. I didn’t think I’d survive it this time. Losing her would destroy me.
And then it hit me. I knew what I needed to do. It might get me killed, but so what? She was worth that risk.
When I made it back downstairs, my brother had cleared out all evidence of my pity party, and there was a new phone waiting for me on the coffee table.
“Thanks.”
“Don’t thank me. I didn’t do it for you.” His glare implied he’d prefer to be punching me in the face. Couldn’t say I blamed him.
“I can still be grateful. Listen, I know you’re mad at me, but I need you to promise me something.”
“What now?”
“If I die tonight, take care of her, okay?”
Miles frowned. “Are you planning on dying?”
“Not exactly, but I’m not ruling out the possibility either.”
“Please don’t do anything stupid.”
“You’re the one who told me to figure out what I was willing to do to get her back.”
“I was thinking more along the lines of begging on your knees.”
“I’ll do that too.”
He rolled his eyes and then shoved the new phone at my chest. “Text me when you’re done with whatever suicidal plan you have.”
“I will.”
“And Hayden? That girl is the best thing that ever happened to you. Don’t take her for granted. If you’re in, be all in.”
I nodded. “I know.” It was time to knock down the last walls around my heart and get my wife back.
There wasa pit of dread in my stomach as I knocked on the front door of Sierra and Nathaniel’s house, the time I’d been here for Sierra’s birthday last month playing through my head like a movie. Danielle had said Nate was the easiest of her brothers to win over, and I hoped he respected me at least a little bit. Maybe enough to let me see my wife and tell her how sorry I was.
Maybe.
The door swung open and Nathaniel stood there with his signature glare, the one that said he had no problem murdering you if you crossed him.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, crossing his arms and looking at me like I was dirt beneath his combat boots.
