“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t tiring.” He handed me a goblet of wine.
“Fine, I’m tired.”
“I’m proud of you for admitting it.” He eyed the food spread out over the table. “What do you want to eat?”
“I’m not picky,” I mumbled, resting my head on my arms on top of the table.
I watched a group of humans I didn’t know well a couple of chairs down from me while Jonah loaded plates for us. One of the guys slid an arm around the woman next to him, and I heard him call her his wife. The bonds of marriage were different here than they were on Earth, but the humans who’d truly been committed to their love were still devoted to their partners in Heaven. It was different but not less.
“Here.” Jonah set a plate in front of me. “What are you thinking about?”
I sucked my lower lip between my teeth, debating what to tell my best friend.
“Do you ever wonder what it would be like to love like them?” I asked, looking toward the human couple again. Humans knew what it was to love in a way that angels didn’t. Their love had been tested by the trials of the world. To them, love was everything, and what they chose to love was what defined them.
“I have once or twice,” Jonah answered. “But it’s pointless to wonder what something feels like to them. We aren’t cut from the same cloth. We’ll never really get it.”
“But some angels must feel love like that. The ones with mates.”
“You actually believe in the mates legend?” Jonah asked, his tone incredulous.
I looked at him. “Of course. I mean, obviously they’re rare, but that doesn’t mean the stories aren’t true.”
“Have you ever met a mated angel before?” He raised a brow at me.
“How many humans met Jesus?” I shot back. “Believing isn’t seeing, Jonah.”
“I didn’t realize you felt so strongly about it.”
“I have to,” I whispered, staring down at my plate of food. “I have to believe there’s more that I can achieve in this life.”
Jonah slid a finger under my chin and tipped it up so I had to look at him. “What do you mean?” he asked with a frown.
“I want the Lord to be proud of me for doing something real.”
“What you do is real,” Jonah growled. “Don’t sell yourself short.”
I brushed off his words. “I feel like there’s something missing. And it’s not because I don’t do enough or because I don’t think being an attendant of Heaven is important. I mean for me personally.Ifeel likeI’mmissing something.”
“Missing what?”
“That connection that humans have with their spouses. That kind of love is as close as they can get to the way God loves them. I have to believe it’s possible for an angel to feel that.”
Jonah’s eyes widened. “You’re hoping you’re one of the few who has a predestined mate?”
I gave a tiny shrug. “I’m not expecting it or anything. I just need to believe it’s a possibility.”
“Laila.” He shook his head.
“Look, you don’t have to get it or agree with me. You asked what I was thinking about, and I wanted to be honest with you.”
Jonah laced his fingers through mine and squeezed. “Thank you for telling me. I want to be here for you, Laila. I really do. I just don’t know what to tell you.”
“You don’t have to say anything.” There wasn’t really anything he could say anyway.
TWO
Joriel
