Joriel met my eyes, and our gazes held for a long second before he answered. “Nathaniel’s mate is human. He met her when he was assigned to be her guardian. She’d gotten mixed up in a fight between a seventh-order angel and a lord of Hell. The demon who was after her for revenge was on the protected list. So I made a deal with Lucifer—he’d withdraw his protection of Dantalion in exchange for my soul.”
Joriel had briefly mentioned something about his brother’s family when I asked what he got in exchange for his soul, but he hadn’t given me the full story. “How do you know your brother and his family are safe now?”
“My fate was sealed the moment I made that deal, but I got a year before Lucifer collected on the bargain. I got to meet Nate and Sierra’s daughter, to see them build their house. I got to see Sam fall in love with Piper and help him deal with his mother when she tried to kill all of us. It was a blessing I hadn’t counted on when I made the deal.”
“You spent an entire year knowing you’d end up here eventually?” In some ways that sounded worse than just going straight to Hell.
“It wasn’t the easiest year of my life, but I’m still grateful for it. I got to say goodbye. I hadn’t expected that.”
I stared at him. Joriel had every reason to be angry, to feel betrayed by life, but he was sitting here telling me he was grateful for the last year he’d been given with his family.
I’d wondered when I first ended up in the prison realm if anyone would really notice that I was gone, if I would be missed. Joriel didn’t have to wonder that. If his family deserved even a fraction of the love he had for them, he was very missed.
“Laila? You okay?”
I shook off my thoughts and forced a smile. “I’m fine.”
“Don’t lie to me. I might not have your ability to sense untruths, but I’m still perfectly capable of telling a fake smile from a real one.”
“I’m in an endless desert in the middle of Hell. Of course I’m not fine, but there’s nothing you can do about it.”
“I can’t do anything about the desert, but I can distract you. Come on, snow angel. On your feet. Show me what you remember about how to use that dagger of yours.”
* * *
The changefrom desert to snow-covered land was abrupt and dramatic. The sun glinted off the ice that covered the ground, making the whole area sparkle. Cool air kissed my skin and frozen water crunched under my boots as we walked.
“Are you seeing this?” I asked, grabbing Joriel’s hand. “I’m not imagining the snow?”
“I’ve never seen anyone get this excited about snow,” he said with a chuckle.
“How are you not excited?” I demanded. “We’ve been wandering through the desert for, like, a week. I was beginning to think I’d imagined the concept of water.”
“Give it a couple of hours and you won’t be so happy about this.”
I grinned at him. “Whatever. Nothing you say right now can ruin my mood.”
Joriel shook his head at me, but I caught the smile he tried to hide by ducking his head. The move would have worked much better if his long hair were loose instead of tied back in a knot at the nape of his neck. The new hairstyle offered a nice view of the small silver hoops in his ears. I couldn’t help wondering if they’d been a souvenir from some hippie or punk rock phase. I couldn’t really picture Joriel as a hippie or a rocker. It didn’t go with his quiet, deadly prowess. Joriel wore long hair the way a warrior in a fantasy book did.
“You’re staring at me,” Joriel said.
“You’re nice to look at,” I replied lightly.
“Laila.” He did the warning-tone thing every time I said anything even remotely teasing. But I think he secretly liked it when I flirted with him.
“Don’t worry, I’m not trying to seduce you. There just don’t happen to be a lot of interesting things to look at in this wasteland.”
“You really are not what I was expecting from an angel of the first order.”
“Hasn’t anyone told you not to judge a book by its cover?” To be fair, prior to landing myself in Hell, I’d probably fit the mold of what he’d expected an attendant of Heaven to be like. I’d been quieter then, less ready to verbally spar. I couldn’t say I really missed the girl I’d been. She had hidden in shadows and never said how she felt. She didn’t let people in and didn’t trust in her own worth.
I brushed my fingers over the handle of my dagger and smiled to myself. I wasn’t sure where I fit in the world anymore, but I felt more myself than I ever had before.
We kept walking until we found a cave to spend the night. Joriel had been right about me not being so happy about the snow after a couple of hours. On the one hand, it was wonderful to be out of the hot sun and unbearable dryness, but on the other hand, the cold wasn’t really any better. It was just different.
“I can take first watch,” Joriel said.
I stared at the cold rock ground and shook my head. “I’m going to freeze to death sleeping here.”
