Of course, there was no saying what would happen when I lost my soul. I didn’t really know if I’d get the chance to stop Asura or not. Would I even still be myself at all?
“Let’s get you closer to her,” Sam said, already starting to push forward, carving a path through the demons.
When we were close enough to see Asura, theSheolishpendant still clutched in her hand, I turned to Sam. “Stay back. I don’t know how this is going to go down.” I took his hand and pulled him into a hug. “I love you,” I whispered. It was something I didn’t tell my brothers often enough. I pulled back and turned to Asura.
I knew it the second my soul was taken. My chest felt like it was caving in, tightening around the empty space where my soul was supposed to be. I pushed through the pain and shock, wrapping my blood-soaked hands around Asura’s arms.
There was a cracking sound, like thunder coming from below, and the ground split open beneath us. We fell together into the empty space, the dark surrounding us. It felt like sinking into an icy lake, feeling the cold close over my head and knowing I’d never find the surface again.
I didn’t even feel it when I lost my hold on Asura. I couldn’t feel anything but cold, couldn’t see anything but darkness. Until I stopped falling. Then I could feel and see everything.
ONE
Laila
Present
Laughter echoedthrough Heaven’s great hall, mixing with the notes of music. It was the normal soundtrack here—joy and celebration and humor.
The great hall was a room unlike any other in the palace. There was no single place you could stand and really take in the whole effect at once. The hall was a blend of so many different styles, all of them gorgeous but wildly unalike. And yet, somehow, it just worked. One part of the room had polished wooden floors with white marble walls, gilded in gold and adorned with golden sconces and candelabras. If you looked in a different direction, you’d see large stone columns framing a view of vast open air where birds flew through the clouds. Every kind of cultural style humanity had ever created seemed to be represented in this one room.
The long table that cut through the middle of the room pulled the whole hall together. It didn’t matter which part of the hall you were in, the simple plain wooden table was the center of attention. The spirits of humans who had once lived in all time periods and places around the world gathered together at the same table to share meals as brothers and sisters.
Everything about the great hall was beautiful, the people and community more than anything else, but I’d always felt like I was outside of it all. Like I didn’t quite fit in here no matter how much I wanted to.
“Laila!” The voice rose over the noise of the hall.
I turned to see Jonah weaving through bodies to get to me. I smiled at him. Jonah had been my best friend for years. My only friend in the first order.
His gray eyes sparkled when he grinned at me. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
I lifted my brows at him. “I’m not exactly hiding. Where did you expect me to be?”
He shrugged before pulling me into a tight hug against his bare chest, brushing against my wings in the process. “Happy birthday,” he murmured in my ear.
“I don’t have a birthday.” The human saying didn’t really apply here. Time moved differently than it did on Earth. There was no twenty-four-hour cycle between night and day. It was light and dark when the Father willed it to be, and how long any level of light lasted varied tremendously. To say I had a birthdaywasn’t an accurate description.
Jonah rolled his eyes. “Close enough. How does it feel to be twenty-one?”
“Exactly the same as it felt to be twenty.”
Ages didn’t matter much to our kind. We could choose to look any age we’d reached. I could have decided to look like a twelve-year-old forever if I wanted, though most first-order angels chose to stop aging in their mid to late twenties. There were also no big milestones for us the way there were for humans. On Earth it was a big deal to be able to drive or drink or vote or marry, depending on what part of the world you lived in. I would never experience that anticipation of waiting to be old enough to do something.
“What’s wrong?” Jonah asked, a worried crease forming between his brows.
“Nothing’s wrong.” The words felt hollow despite the fact that they were true. I lived in God’s palace. My life was perfect—without pain or sorrow. Nothing ever went wrong for me, but sometimes I felt like there was something wrongwithme.
Jonah ran a hand up and down my bare arm. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”
I nodded. The problem wasn’t that I didn’t think I could trust Jonah, it was that I didn’t know how to explain the thoughts swirling around in my head. They didn’t make sense. I was in paradise; how could I still feel this longing for something more?
“Come on.” Jonah held a hand out to me. “Let’s go celebrate your non-birthday.”
“Where are we going?” I asked, placing my hand in his.
“You’ll see.” He led me toward the far end of the hall, each step taking us closer to the source of the music. I recognized the musician but didn’t know her well. I hardly knew any of the other angels of the first order well. They were all so much older than I was. I think there were five or six centuries between me and the next youngest angel, but I’d probably never know for sure.
Today the music was soft but full of so many notes and complex rhythms. It was beautiful and powerful, yet not attention-grabbing. I wondered what everyone else heard. Sometimes I could guess when a person tapped their foot or swayed their hips to a beat I couldn’t hear. Even though we didn’t all hear the same notes, we could all appreciate the talent of the musician and the feeling they poured into their playing. That translated no matter what song we heard.
