You sold your soul to Lucifer to save Nathaniel and Sierra. They have a daughter now named Nova. She’s worth everything you have to live through down here.
When you lost your soul, you were able to drag Sam’s mother down with you. Hopefully she’s facing her own sins now, far away from Sam and Micah. Sam’s free to live his life with his human mate and doesn’t have to worry about his mother coming back to hurt his family.
They’re safe. That’s all that matters.
I didn’t open my eyes once as I recited every important thing I’d been through in my life. Starting with my family in the secret order and going back through my history. I couldn’t remember how old I was exactly, but I was pretty sure it was more than a century, maybe closer to two. The details were fuzzier the farther back I went.
When I was first chained here, I used to tell myself my story all the time. I’d been desperate to remember who I was, the life I’d lived before I became this. But it had gotten harder as time went by. Harder to remember and harder to find the will to care.
SEVEN
Laila
I held backthe tears until I was sure I was far enough away from Joriel to not be overheard. And then I fell to my knees and sobbed, giving voice to all the pain I was feeling—both my own and what I’d sensed from him.
I felt his suffering as if it were my own. Even now that there was some distance between us, I could still feel a cord of awareness tying us together.
When I’d looked into his eyes, I’d seen my own hopelessness reflected back at me, and I knew in my heart that neither of us belonged here.
I pressed my palm against my chest, right where the empty, abandoned feeling clawed at my heart.
It was so easy to feel alone here, like everyone had forgotten me. I had nothing to hold on to but the blind trust that the Father had a plan for me, that He could make something good out of my situation.
I’d brought this on myself by letting Roth lure me out of God’s court, but I’d known enough humans who had been lost in their lives to know that God always wanted them back. He wouldn’t forsake me. No matter how alone I felt, I had to believe that He still loved me and that He would get me through this.
“Father, I’m not going to lie and say this doesn’t hurt,” I muttered. “I’m not going to pretend to understand Your plan for me. I don’t know how You’re going to use my predicament for Your glory, but I trust You. Please show me what You want me to do. I’m still, and always will be, at Your service.”
I wiped the tears from my cheeks while I focused on breathing in and out, trying to feel anything besides hurt. The pressure that weighed down on me made my body feel heavy, my mind slow, and the thought of doing something as simple as standing up seemed like a monumental task.
The only time the pressure had eased up was when I was with Joriel. I’d felt more like myself when he was close. I didn’t understand, but I was sure there was a reason I’d found him. I wanted answers, and I didn’t care how long it took for him to warm up to me. I had plenty of time nowadays.
* * *
Joriel lookedthe same as he had last time I’d seen him, and I wasn’t sure whether to breathe a sigh of relief that there were no obvious new injuries or feel horrified that the injuries he had didn’t appear to be healing. I was used to being around humans who didn’t have physical bodies and were incapable of getting hurt and angels who usually healed within seconds. Except for when it came to wings apparently. I had no idea how long it had been since Soneillon had ripped my wings off, but so far they were taking the very slow route toward healing.
“What are you doing here?” Joriel demanded, his voice low and menacing.
I refused to flinch from his anger or lack of welcome. I sat on the ground a few feet beyond where the chain reached. “Nice to see you again too.”
“You can’t be here,” he growled.
I raised my brows at him. “It appears I can be.”
He glared at me, but there was nothing he could do to make me leave, and we both knew it. “Do youwantto be a demon’s plaything?”
“I want answers.”
“Hate to break it to you, snow angel, but you’re in Hell. What you want doesn’t really matter anymore.”
“What are you?” I asked, ignoring his jab.
He closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall behind him, not saying a word.
“Joriel.” I tried again. Still nothing from him.
With his eyes closed and that tired slump to his body, he looked so defeated. I wanted to move closer, to reach out and touch him, not just to bring him peace but because I wanted to know what his skin felt like. But since he’d flipped out the last time I’d tried to touch him, I didn’t think we were at that stage in our relationship yet.
I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs to ensure I kept my hands to myself. “I know you don’t want me here, but I can’t stay away from you. The only time I still feel like I’m really alive and not just a shadow condemned to wander these caves for eternity is when I’m with you.”
