“I’m going to go check and see what the chef left for dinner.” Saber clears his throat. “There will be plenty for the three of us.” He focuses on me. “You, especially, should eat. If you didn’t realize a full day had passed, I’m sure you weren’t coherentenough to feed yourself.” He smiles tightly. “The bathroom is connected via the door across from where we are now.” With that, he takes off, and I’m left alone with Laz for the first time since our show in the club last night.
My handsome kraken slithers his way onto the mattress after dropping our bags near the wall at the top of the stairs. He stretches out on the bed, still in partially shifted form.
He’s so damn sexy with his shaggy, whitish-blond hair falling over his forehead. “You gonna come talk to me, sweetness?”
My foot dances on the carpet as I stare at my shoes.
How am I ever supposed to make up for what I said and did at the club?
The hard part is that I know Lazarus well enough to understand how he’ll react. He’s the most self-sacrificing man I’ve ever met.
Genuinely a good monster.
And the guilt threatens to eat me alive.
Still, I’ve never been able to deny him anything. Kicking off my shoes, I scramble up the bed.
Laz is lean in human form, and that transfers over to monster form to a certain extent, but his muscles bulge more when he’s at least partially changed.
I crawl over his tentacles and up to sit over his lap.
Kinda.
It’s where his lap would be if he had legs, but I plant my pussy over his cock pocket. If he was in human form, I would be sitting over his pelvis.
Laz plants his hands on my hips and smiles. “I missed the hell out of you today. It’s been a long time since I went an entire twenty-four hours without seeing your face.”
“I missed you too.” My hands land on his bare shoulders, brushing over his warm skin. “I’m so sorry. I panicked. I’m embarrassed and regretful and just so sorry.”
“I know,” he says, giving me a sad smile. “Before my kraken even knocked me out of the driver’s seat, I knew you were just caught up in the moment.”
“No.” I shake my head. “I mean, yes, but it’s complicated. You’re a lot older than I am. I understand that your kraken is ready to have kids, and I wanted to be able to give him that. You too.” I sigh as my face heats. My eyes dart everywhere but to meet Laz’s aquamarine stare. I can still feel the weight of his gaze, though. “And now that the eggs are inside me…”
Fuck… How do I explain this without sounding insane? Maybe it’s a biological response or something? Like a way kraken ensure whoever they plant their eggs in will protect them.
Hell if I know, but I do know one thing…
“They feel like they’re mine,” I whisper. “The thought of letting them degrade makes me physically sick. I have no idea how I’ll cope with being a mother, but I think I want to try.”
“Vivie, I’m not sure that’s something you should do just because youthinkyou want to try,” he says, running his hand over my lower back. “There’s no pressure. We have an eternity ahead of us. We can simply enjoy each other for another few centuries and see if your feelings about children change. There’s no rush.”
“I appreciate that…” Pulling my hand from his shoulder, I slide it over my stomach. “I love you, Laz, and I’m pretty sure I love the eggs too. It’s the weirdest thing, but it’s true.”
Laz wraps his hands around my ass, lifting me enough that when he dips his head, our mouths meet. Normally, Laz is playful and teasing, but the kiss betrays every bit of his emotions. It’s slow and deep and intense, like he wants to devour me whole.
I moan, following his lips as he pulls back.
“You told me you loved me once before,” he whispers, smiling against my lips. “But you were also half-delirious from a bunch of orgasms, and I didn’t know if you were telling me or my dick.”
I snort. “Probably both. I’ve had deep feelings for you for a while, I just struggled to verbalize them. My mother…” The weird tightening in my stomach that comes every time I think of her rears its ugly head. “I think all fae struggle to express emotion, but my mother was especially cold.”
“You’ve mentioned that before,” he says calmly. “Want to go a little deeper about your relationship with her?”
“What relationship?” I scoff. “Siren are coveted in Faere. Keeping one as a concubine is considered an ultimate status symbol. My mother had no issues with selling me off to boost her own social standing.”
Laz hisses. “Fucking hell. No wonder you have trauma. I’m here if you want to talk about that some more.”
Saber clears his throat from near the nest doorway. “So, I have dinner warming, if either of you are interested. When Samson comes in tomorrow, I’ll ask him to prepare a few vegetarian options, but there are fresh fruit and vegetables. You should probably have something if neither of you has eaten.”
