“Your mom reminds me a lot of you. You both tend to ignore the word no and just bulldoze ahead.”
“I don’t ignore the word no. But when I set my mind to something, I can be very focused. Like now, I want to be your friend and I get it might come off pushy and if it does, just say that. I’ll dial it back a notch. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable or dread seeing me. That’s the last thing I want.”
“You are very pushy.”
“Sorry.” Dammit. If I back off, she’ll push me even further away. How to keep her close and make her not feel pressured?
“I don’t really have anyone. Nana died, my brother’s in an unknown location, and I’m always scared a soldier will show up on my doorstep to tell me he died in the line of duty. My friends either went to college or moved away. The ones that stuck around…well, let’s say they ended up in a dead end job, some on drugs, and others drifted away naturally. I’m trying to get my life together and learn how to not depend on anyone but myself. It’s hard. Most days it’s all I can do to get through.”
Fuck. “I’m sorry.”
She waves that away. “I’m afraid if I let people in, they’ll just go away again and I’ll be back to being alone. It’s better to keep it that way than to lose so much again. It has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with me. Can you understand that?”
“I can, but that’s a hell of a lonely way to live.”
She shrugs and looks out the window. “It is, but it doesn’t end up hurting so much.”
“Or it ends up costing you more pain in the long run. If you let people in, they can share the pain with you.”
“Maybe.”
“All I’m saying is maybe think about not pushing me away so hard? I really do want to be your friend.”
“You want to be more than my friend.”
“I do, but if all you can deal with is being my friend, then that’s what’ll I’ll be until you can handle more.”
“And if I can’t handle more?”
“Then we’ll just be friends. We all need friends, Daisy. It’s not healthy to cut yourself off from any sort of external relationships.”
“I know that, but it’s hard.”
“I’m worth the effort, though.” I give her my dimpled grin in an effort to lighten the mood. I don’t want to bring her down and she looks so sad right now.
“You’re full of yourself.”
“That too, but still worth it.”
“Keep telling yourself that.”
“You’re worth the effort too.” Before I can say anything, our breakfast arrives. That was quick.
“Thank you,” Daisy murmurs.
“Let me know if you need anything else.” She sets a fresh carafe of coffee on the table along with a container of fresh cream for the coffee before hurrying off to the next table.
“This smells so good.” Daisy leans down and takes a deep breath. I can smell the strawberries and cream from my side of the booth. Makes me wish I’d ordered her crepes as well.
“Best place for breakfast in the city for a reason!” someone across the way shouts. I look up to see Gordan Socks, our second line defensemen, sitting with a few of the other hockey players a few booths down. How did I not see them when we came in? Nor did I realize they were close enough to hear our conversation.
Daisy seems to have come to the same realization as her body posture has gone from relaxed to tense. The openness in her expression is gone as well. It feels like all the progress I made seems to have gone by the wayside. I’m hoping that’s not the case.
“Who’s this?” Gordon nods to Daisy.
“Daisy, meet the guys. Guys, this is Daisy. Now shut the hell up and mind your business.”
They all laugh and go back to their food.
