“No, not since Joe. When I found out he was cheating on me with people I knew, people I partied with, they sort of lost their appeal. These were my friends and he was making out with them at the parties while I was hanging with Lucy. The noise helped to hide all that because it was distracting. And I didn’t realize how much the quiet soothes me.”
And the quiet is easier to hear someone sneaking up on her. She doesn’t even hint at that, but I think it’s a big factor in why she keeps the noise around her to a minimum. It’s a feeling I have and one day I’ll ask her about it, but not until I think she’s ready.
“Were you a big drinker at these parties?”
“I sure was. I was in high school and getting smashed was a part of the high school experience. It made it easier for Joe to cheat as well.”
“And you don’t drink now because?”
“Because it’s just not something that I enjoy anymore.”
“I drink occasionally, but usually not during the season.”
“Not even after a big win?”
“Some of the guys do, but they’re not serious about a professional career. Those of us who are, we don’t.”
“I’m glad you don’t drink a lot.”
“Did asswipe drink a lot?”
She shakes her head. “He said the same thing about sports. During the summer, he’d drink here and there, but never more than a single beer.”
“Then can I ask why you like that I don’t drink a lot?”
“My mom’s boyfriends would get drunk all the time. Robbie and I were their punching bag when they’d get drunk. Mom was usually too high to care. I remember when she dropped us off at Nana’s that last time we were both covered in bruises and Robbie had a broken arm. Nana filed for custody and won.”
Shit. My girl had a rough time of it.
“The real reason I don’t drink anymore is because I’m aware of how much I liked the feeling of being drunk. My mom’s an addict and I’m afraid alcohol could cause me to be an addict as well. It’s better to cut that off now before it becomes a problem.”
“You’re more aware than most.”
“I lived it. Most haven’t.”
My poor scrappy girl. No wonder she’s so cold to so many people. She’s just protecting herself.
“Good thing I don’t plan on drinking much if at all.”
“I would never stop you from doing that.”
“I know.” I pick up the remote and go to turn on the TV, but she stops me.
“I don’t want to watch TV.”
“Then what do you want to do?”
“I want you to kiss me.”
“How about you kiss me instead?”
Her brow arches.
“It’s your birthday, sweetheart. You get to do whateveryouwant.”
Here’s the thing. I don’t want to scare her and if I let her control the situation, it will ensure that doesn’t happen. If I start this, it might go farther than she’s comfortable with, but if she starts it and is in charge, then I know she’ll only be doing exactly what she’s comfortable with.
She nibbles on her lip and I can see the expression in her eyes shift as she comes to whatever conclusion she has rolling around in that beautiful head of hers. Sitting up, she straddles my lap and I lean back against the headboard, curious as to what she’ll do.
