“You really mean that don’t you?”
He nods. “Always sweetheart.” He leans in and bumps his nose against mine. “You can do everything in your power to push me away, and I’ll still be here.”
“But why?”
“Because I feel you in my heart. I’ve never had that kind of feeling for anyone before and I know it’s important.You’reimportant. I’m not throwing that away just because you’re skittish. I don’t blame you and I’m patient. I can wait for you to trust me.”
“I do, though. I don’t know why, but I do.”
He doesn’t grin or make some cheeky comment. His expression turns serious.
“You do know why, you’re just not ready to admit it.”
Maybe he’s right.
His forehead presses against mine and all I can see are the clear gray of his eyes. They look like storm clouds, but the good thing about storm clouds is eventually the storm clears and the sun breaks through. I’ve seen that in him. He’s kind and gentle with me. Cocky, but not arrogant. I’ve seen him angry, but he’s never turned that on me. He’s been angry for me.
Maybe I really am stupid for trying to push him away when he’s offering me something I’ve always wanted. To have someone who really will put me first and not turn out to be a cheat and a woman beater. I’ve not seen any of the red flags inhim that I saw in Joseph. I’m letting fear and insecurity hold me back and Nana would have a field day with that one. She raised me to be a strong woman to take chances. She’d be so disappointed in me.
I need him to understand, to really understand why I pushed him away and why I come off cold. It’s not to hurt him or anyone else. It’s simply to protect myself. If he knows, maybe he’ll help me work through my fears.
“I was in the ICU for three weeks,” I whisper. “My jaw was broken and I couldn’t eat anything for weeks while it healed. I drank protein shakes through a straw.”
He rears back like I slapped him.
“He ruptured my spleen and damaged both my kidneys. I had three broken ribs, a broken leg, and a broken arm.”
“Daisy…”
I hold up a hand to stop him. “Let me get this out. I need to.”
He nods and his hands twitch like he wants to hold me, but he doesn’t move.
“I had a fractured skull and cranial bleeding.” I pull my hair back to show him the spot where they had to shave my head. “They went in here to repair the bleed. The effects of the concussion lasted for months. I still get a little dizzy sometimes.”
His fist clenches.
“The reason I’m telling you this is so that you’ll understand how hard this is for me.”
“I’m patient…”
I put a finger to his lips. “I know.” Taking a deep breath, I lean in until our foreheads are touching again. “You’re a good man, Jonathan. I ran from that because I don’t trust my own judgment.”
“You’re friends with Collin. I’d say you have pretty good judgment.”
“He didn’t really give me a choice.”
“You always have a choice with me.”
“I know. That’s why I want you to kiss me.”
“You don’t have to…”
“Again, I know that, but I want to. I was too scared earlier when he called and all those old feelings rushed up, but I’m hoping you can help me make new memories and give me good feelings to replace all those old fearful ones.”
He looks afraid to take me at my word. I can’t blame him. Not after all the time I spent pushing him away.
So I kiss him.
