I let out a shaky breath and look at Erin, who holds her glass of wine, tapping it.
“What?” I ask.
“Water at dinner, water now. I know how much you like wine, especially with dinner.” Her eyes narrow as she leans in. “You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”
I can’t move. I can’t breathe. I can’t speak.
But finally, I manage to nod.
Erin squeals, and it breaks me out of my frozen state.
“Shh,” I whisper as she hugs me. “I just found out today. It’s really early.”
She hugs me tighter. “That’s amazing news.”
Then she pulls back and studies me.
“It is amazing news, right?” she asks.
“Yes.” I let out a small, breathy laugh. “Both Ilya and I are thrilled.”
“Demyan.”
I nod. “I’m not looking forward to telling him, that’s all.”
Erin winces. “You don’t need to yet, not until the third trimester. But I get it. It’ll be difficult.” She smiles. “You know what? Maybe it’ll be the thing to make him realize he needs to get over this feud with Ilya.”
I pull a face. “And Santa’s real.”
“He isn’t?”
I laugh and shake my head. “I don’t think something like a pregnancy will do it. Shit, it might deepen the rift.”
“Maybe they’ll surprise you. And by they, I mean Demyan.” Erin sighs.
I glance over at them. They’re both on their phones, ignoring each other, and it hurts me down to the bone and makes my heart ache. All I want is for them to fix their friendship.
Because regardless of the animosity from both men, I know they love each other.
Which troubles me.
Love is so close to hate, and they’re both stubborn. Demyan thinks he’s right. Ilya thinks that trying to open the channels of communication will be seen as weakness, not to mention the hurt he feels from Demyan’s reactions.
And it’s all my fault.
If I’d been up front, then maybe Demyan would have been able to adjust better.
Or maybe not.
I don’t know.
All I know is I need them to fix this.
Because until that happens, I don’t think my life with Ilya can ever truly settle into full happiness.
Chapter Nineteen
ILYA
