Inside me, everything slows as it tightens, the wheel that is my heart spiraling free. I look into Meg’s eyes and fall into the deep blue pools. Sweet fire rips through me, hot and bright.
I don’t know how to make whatever this is between us last, and it’s selfish of me to even try. I only know that I’m clinging to the possibility. Which means I’m already way over my head.
After we clean up and Meg loans me a toothbrush, I carry her upstairs to her bedroom. Tucked under her big fluffy comforter, Meg falls asleep in minutes, her breaths even and her limbs growing heavy. I lay awake, stroking her bare shoulder and running my fingers through her silky hair. I’m not much of a cuddler, but I don’t mind the weight of Meg’s body nestled up tomine. The warm rush of her breath across my chest. The calm that comes with knowing she’s safe.
Her big triangular window has no shade, giving me a partial view of the stars through the hemlock boughs. I pick out Jupiter and the North Star and Cassiopeia and try to soothe my restlessness with daydreaming about my upcoming climb of Liberty Spires with Greta.
When I wake, the unfamiliar feeling of Meg’s silky touch on my chest and the remnants of the nightmare I’ve been having since the arson fire send a slow roll of unease through my muscles while my sticky pulse echoes in my ears.
“You okay?” Meg says, gazing up at me, brows knit in concern. Seeing her gorgeous face brings it all back. The tender, hungry kiss at the party that led to everything else. The gift of exploring her body, of pleasuring her.
The room is still dark, but the stars outside are fading, a sign that dawn is near. Relief trickles down through me in the usual way. “Come here.”
She scoots closer to me but that’s not enough, so I scoop her up and settle her on top of me beneath the covers, then caress up and down her back. Finally, my pulse settles. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Is that why you sleep outside?”
How much of my nightmare did she witness? “Yes and no. I…don’t like being confined.”
She gives a soft hum, like she’s pleased. “It scares you?”
“I sometimes deal with anxiety.” I used to be ashamed of it. Tried to hide it. But life has gotten easier now that there’s understanding.
“Is that hard to share?”
I smile, and my chest fills with a heavy, pleasant warmth. I comb through her long hair, grounding myself in the silky way the strands slip through my fingers. “Not withyou.”
She inhales a full breath, her ribs expanding against mine. I savor the sensation while I caress all the way to the backs of her thighs. It reminds me of when we were dancing. How we quickly found a rhythm, that easy give and take.
She rests her cheek on my chest and caresses the ink on my left bicep. “Is this for Greta?”
“Yep. The day she was born.”
“What about these?” she asks, stroking over the flock of small black birds that cover my shoulder and extend across the plane of my pectoral muscle.
I stroke up her smooth curves, trace the curve of her spine, and comb her hair back from her temple, the silky strands cascading off her shoulder to tickle my ribs.
“I had some stuff to deal with as a kid. I tried fighting my way through it. Things got out of hand for a while. I knew I needed to make a change, but it wasn’t easy. When I started celebrating the wins, something shifted.”
Her tender caress over my shoulder is almost too much.
“Do you still do it?” she asks.
“Ink a bird every time I rise above?” I laugh. “Naw. It’s been a long time since I did it.”
The warmth of her skin on mine is doing things to my bloodstream. I stroke down her back and cup her ass to bring her closer. She rocks into me, like she’s feeling it too. Her nipples tighten to hard little knots against my chest. I’m going to need to kiss her there very soon.
“Does that mean it’s gotten easier?” she asks.
“No.” And I doubt it ever will.
She props her chin on her fist and looks up at me. “It was you comforting me in the hospital, wasn’t it?”
I stroke her hair and give her a soft smile. “Of course it was me.”
Her eyes turn glassy. “Why?”
“Because I could sense that you needed it.” Nobody else showed up for her, and I’d be damned if I was going to let her fight those battles alone.
