“Why?Whyare you wearing a disguise?Doyou wear it everywhere?Idon’t understand.”
“Idon’t wear it to work—only around town.Mostof theLancastershadn’t seen me wearing it until that day at the park.Asfor the reason why…”Itake a deep breath because this requires even more vulnerability than taking the disguise off did. “Untilrecently,IthoughtIwas being smart and safe.Mydad was killed by someone he’d tried to capture as an intelligence operative.He’dbeen recognized as he came out of a movie theater.”
“Oh,Hammy.I’mso sorry.”
“Itwas almost forty years ago.I’mokay.Irealized that somewhere along the way, though,Ibecame accustomed to hiding behind a disguise.Tohiding whoIreally am.”
Theexpression on her face is changing, soIpush forward. “Andthen you came along.I’venever known anyone as incredible as you.I’venever been captivated the way you’ve captivated me.I’venever wanted someone to see the real me before you came along.
“I’vespent my life hiding,Annette, andIdon’t want to hide from you.Iwant you to see…Me.Thereal me.”
CHAPTER 8
THE SPY WHO CAME IN FROM THE COLD… WITH COOKIES
Annette
“S
o,”Isay, “instead of hiding things from me, you’re hiding things from everyone else and revealing them only to me.”
Hegrimaces. “It’sbad.I’mso sorry.”
“No, oddly, it feels very different from the other way around.”
Allof this has completely blown my mind.WhenI’dbeen guessing whatHammymight tell me,I’dguessed utterly outlandish things.Butthis is every bit as big as my guesses were.
IknowI’min a bit of shock.Butalso, there’s a happiness coursing through me now.Ilove knowing this aboutHammy.Ilove thatI’mimportant enough to him that he’s willing to share this when he’s kept it secret for so many years.
“So,”Iask, needing to know, “you aren’t going to retire anytime soon, are you?”
“Heavens, no!Ilove my job way too much.They’dhave to kick me out and revoke my security clearance to get me to stop coming.”Helifts one shoulder in a shrug. “Plus,Istarted working at theCSAwhen it first became an agency.Thereare two other guys—one in logistics and one in cover and legend development who still work there.Ineed to outlast them both.Wait.Wereyou hopingIwould?”
Ishake my head. “Ireally wasn’t.”Hisanswer makes my soul sing.Findingout that we’re on the same page is a glorious feeling.
“Idon’t have to keep wearing the disguise.”
Itry to hold back a smile. “Soyou’re suddenly going to start looking a decade younger?”
Hammylaughs.
“Doyou want to stop?”Iask him. “BecauseI’lllove you whether you look like you or like my mailman who just retired.”
“Youlove me?”Thelook onHammy’sface is both hopeful and measured.
Ismile. “Ithink maybeIdo.”
“Andyou really don’t care how oldIlook?”
“Ireally don’t.”
Henods slowly. “Okay.IthinkI’mready to be myself.Iwant to be the genuine article.”
“Youknow, you could slowly use less and less of your disguise.”
Hesmiles. “Icould tell people that being around you makes me younger.”
Ilaugh. “Iknow being around you makes me feel younger.”
