Charlietilts her head. “IsAbrahamnot your real name?”
Ichuckle. “It’smy real name.”Sheknows it is.
“I’veknown you my entire life.Itfeels to me like you’re the genuineAbraham.”
“Well,Iamhere.I’mjust not outside of these walls.”
“So, you’re not out of practice being you.You’rejust used to becomingHammywhen you leave.”
True.
“I’vealso known you asHammyfor at least a year.I’veseen how you are atOutsidetheBubbleand around town, andI’dsay thatHammyandAbrahamare practically identical.It’sonly the disguise that’s different.Ifyou drop that, you can live as the real, genuine, authentic you.”
“Youreally think so?”
“Iknowso.Nowgo, get that form submitted so thePersonnelSecurityDivisioncan getAnnettevetted before they leave forChristmasbreak, and then tell her already!Itcan be yourChristmasgift to her.Itcan be yourChristmasgift toyou, too.”
I’msmiling and feeling lighter already.Andvery much ready to not be alone anymore.
“You’vegot this,”Charliesays, then grabs our mostly empty food cartons and heads toward the hall leading to the elevators.Thenshe turns and adds, “Oh, andAbe?Goodluck, have fun, and don’t die.”
Ichuckle and shake my head.She’sright.I’vegot this.
CHAPTER 6
WRAP, WORRY, REPEAT
Annette
“B
utyou like him, right?”Reeseasks as she works alongside me at my kitchen table, wrapping presents, as we’ve been doing sinceIgot home from work.
“Ido!”Ipick upSparkand she gives me kisses untilIgive her neck a good scratch.Ihadn’t wanted a dog.ButthenDylanandReesegot me this sweetheart for my birthday this year to give me back “the spark”I’dlost—which is how she got her name—andI’vebeen a devoted dog mom ever since.
Ilet out a breath. “It’sjust thatIworry he’s purposely hiding things.AndI’mnot talking about something like secretly needing to sleep with a fluffy eye mask, or loving polka music, or obsessing over reality dating shows.Thosekinds of secrets are fine.Imean,I’mnot in a hurry to tell him thatIhave an irrational fear of pigeons.”
“Pigeons?”
“It’sa thing.I’mtalking about something big.Whichis weird because he seems like the kind of guy who’d head back into the grocery store if he was putting his bags into his trunk and realized he didn’t pay for a candy bar.Soit doesn’t make sense, butIdon’t know.Itkind of freaks me out.Especiallyafter—”Thankfully,Istop myself before finishing.I’vebeen careful not to say anything bad to my kids about their dad becauseIdon’t want to sabotage their relationship with him.
ButthenReesefinishes for me. “—all of the stuff thatDadalways hid?”
Ilook at her, shocked.
“Mom,Iknow.Imean, you’re not the only one he hid stuff from.”Imust still be looking shocked because she adds, “What?LikeIwas supposed to believe he didn’t show up to my school plays because of a ‘work emergency’ that magically happened every spring on the night of my performance?”
“I’mso sorry, honey,”Isay asIput my little pup back on the floor.
“Mom, we’re talking about you andHammy.Notme andDad.”
Itake a deep breath and pull out the next present to be wrapped. “Okay, then, yes, because of that, it freaks me out.Butthe strange thing is,I’mnot really freaked out whileI’mwithHammy.Ithink becauseIhave so much fun with him and enjoy his company.It’swhen we’renottogether that it gets in my head.”
Iturn the present over on the wrapping paper, measure how muchIneed, and then start to cut. “ButIdon’t think that havingFunAnnette‘come in from the cold’—don’t ask—is a good enough reason by itself to continue dating him.I’venever been interested in dating just for fun.”
“Andyou don’t think you like him enough for it to be more than ‘just for fun’?”
Irub the side of my hand on my forehead before sighing. “No.IthinkIlike him enough for it to beeverything.That’swhat scares me.”