“I wasn’t sure I would be, either.” Nick smiled at Rachel as he slipped an arm around her waist. “Life surprises you sometimes.” He hoped that Uncle Pete would get the hint not to push it any further and he hoped that Rachel would get the message that he was there for her regardless of anything anyone said.
Ken called out, “Santa Claus has the right idea to only see people once a year,” and everyone laughed.
They had barely turned away from Uncle Pete when Tanner’s wife, Tiff, put her hand on Nick’s arm, giving him a face full of pity. “How are you, Nick?”
“I’m good. Tiff, this is Rachel, Rachel, Tiff.”
Tiff smiled at Rachel and then turned back to Nick. “I’m glad you’re doing well. Oh, I just miss Clara so much! I was telling Tanner that if he died young, I don’t think I’deverbe ready to date again.”
“It’s definitely tough, but I bet you’d get there if you were ever faced with that situation.” What was he thinking, bringing Rachel to a family event put on by Clara’s parents, where so many of Clara’s relatives would be present, when he and Rachel had only been together for a short time?
He was probably thinking everyone would be like Clara’s parents—super supportive of him dating again. He hadn’t been prepared for this. He was especially ill-prepared after the emotionally draining afternoon he’d had.
They made the rounds to almost everyone in the group, and it was probably getting close to the games starting when a group of kids ran by Grandpa Harold, who was now leaning back in an armchair with his eyes closed. “I’m not ‘sleeping in heavenly peace’ here.”
“Ayy,” everyone called out as they held up whatever was in their hands. Rachel did this time, too.
Aiden came to stop in front of Rachel, so she crouched down to his height as he said, “There’s someone whose sweater is like a fireplace, when they put their arms out straight like this, stockings are hanging down from it! Also, can you believe Christmas is intwo days? And guess what? I told Holly’s grandma that hanai means family that’s kind of related but not really. Then I asked, and she said I could be her hanai, but Hollysaid it was only okay if Noelle’s mom could also beherhanai. Do you think Grandma Allred would be okay with that?”
Rachel glanced at Nick before meeting Aiden’s eyes again. “I bet she would.”
Nick hadn’t had time to process all that before his elderly Aunt Virginia pulled him toward her and patted his arm. “Are you sure you’re ready to start dating again, dear?”
He took a deep breath.
“Because, you know, grief can come along and strike you at any moment.”
Yep. He knew that all too well. It hit him earlier today and was hitting him pretty hard right now.
“Everyone encouraged me to start dating again a few years after Frank died,” Aunt Virginia said. “So eventually, I said “Fine!” and I went on a date with a nice gentleman. The whole time I felt like I was cheating on Frank, and I kept looking around the restaurant like I was going to get caught for stepping out on him. There was just so much guilt. So I said ‘I’m done.’ It just wasn’t worth it. I decided that I’m going to be true to my Frank always. To death, just like I said in my vows.”
If that wasn’t a truckload of guilt being dumped on him, he didn’t know what was. He glanced over at Rachel, who was talking with Uncle Ken. He hoped she was faring better than he was.
Aunt Virginia patted his arm again. “When Clara married you and you two chose to have a child, she was choosingyouto be Holly’s dad. She didn’t choosesomeone elseto be Holly’s mom. How would you even know if she approved of this person? Because if you find someone new, she’ll be Holly’s mom.”
Knowing Aunt Virginia, she wasn’t intentionally trying to be hurtful; he knew that, but all her words were like swords nonetheless. He took a steadying breath and said, “Clara wouldtrust me to find the perfect person. And she would approve of Rachel.”
“Hello, Virginia,” his father-in-law said. “I apologize for interrupting, but can I steal Nick away from you? I need his help.”
Aunt Virginia patted his arm one last time and then turned away to talk to someone else. Nick let out a long, slow breath before turning to Ben. “What did you need help with?”
“Nothing. It just looked like that wasn’t the most pleasant of conversations for you, and I know Virginia will talk your ear off if given the chance.”
He clapped his father-in-law on the back. “You’re a good man, Ben. Thank you.” He was truly grateful. He wasn’t sure he could’ve taken many more stabs from Aunt Virginia.
Ben smiled, and then said, “Now go be with your date.”
When Nick reached Rachel, he was met with a smile that faded just a bit when she took in whatever was on his face. “Are you okay?” she asked.
He said “Yes,” but she was still looking at him like she could tell that something was wrong. He ran his hands over his face to try to wipe away all of it. “I’ll be fine.”
And he would be. After such an emotional afternoon, his nerves were just frayed because everyone was saying out loud all the fears he’d been trying to hold inside.
thirteen
RACHEL
Rachel was soglad that the Allred family had welcomed her and Aiden into their family right along with Jack because their home had become her favorite place to spend Christmas Eve. They had vaulted ceilings and a giant, gorgeously decorated Christmas tree, every area was decked out with garlands and red ornaments, a gingerbread train was moving through a mini village on a table, the long tables separating the kitchen from the family room were adorned in reds and whites with greenery down the middles, and Christmas music played over the speakers.
