“Right? So I got cookies, but we didn’t eat them with dinner and kind of forgot about them. Then, as we were working, Aiden and Holly asked if they could have one. My immediate thought was no—it was way too close to bedtime and Aiden knew not to ask for something sweet that late at night. But in the spirit of theSeason of Yes, I would’ve stopped myself before saying no and said yes. But Nick said yes without even thinking about it first.”
“And this is a problem why?”
Rachel blew out a breath, feeling stupid for even bringing it up. “It wasn’t a problem. It just did make me think that as much as I’ve wished over the years that I had a partner in the whole parenting thing and knew how much it would help, it just had somehow not occurred to me that we might not agree on parenting styles and that might be a challenge. The cookie thing wasn’t a big deal at all. But it did make me wonder how many things we might run into that might be a bigger deal.” It was a fear she hadn’t even known she had until Friday night.
“Yeah, I can see how that would be tough.”
“So, I’ll worry about something like that, thenbam! I’ll get the image in my head of Nick carrying each of the kids, all bundled up in blankets, out to each of our cars as the snow fellsoftly, the moon and the Christmas lights casting a soft glow on them, then getting them all safe and buckled in. And then I’m just left confused and reallyreallywanting him by me, his arms around me, his lips on mine.”
“He carried them out to the car? Oh my goodness, I think my heart just melted again. Completely this time. It’s now just a puddle.”
“But here’s where it gets intense. I had read a book to Aiden and Holly. When I was hugging Aiden goodnight, he was acting like he wanted to tell me something so badly that he couldn’t hold it in. When we were at the Christmas Village a couple of weeks ago, he had a ‘Christmas wish’ that he rolled up and put in the claw of a dove. He said, ‘I want to tell you what I wished for but I can’t say it out loud or it won’t come true. So how about I whisper it in your ear?’ Do you want to know what he wished for? A dad! And, of course, Holly whispered something to Nick at the same time, and then I saw the two kids share a look.”
“Oh, that’s sweet.”
“I don’t know. What if I’m just giving him more false hope than a six-year-old can handle? That’s not fair to him. Or Holly. For all I know, she was whispering about what she wanted for breakfast the next day. But if that look that I saw between them was what I think it was, it was conspiratorial. Maybe Holly wants the same thing—a second parent.”
Lucy was silent for a long moment before she said, “You say you want to get married and that you want Aiden to have a dad. But do you really?”
“I do!”
“With every other guy you’ve started to date, you backed away pretty quickly because you didn’t think he was good enough for Aiden. Now you find this guy who actuallyisperfect, yet you’re still backing away.”
Rachel ran her hands over her face. “I know. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m thirty years old, and I’ve never had a long-term relationship.” She shook her head. “Maybe I just can’t handle it.”
“You can handle it.”
But she wasn’t so sure. She didn’t have history on her side.
An airof excitement and anticipation filled the gym as Rachel and Nick found seats where they all had a good view of the stage. Maybe it was because the kids only had two more days of school left before Christmas break, or maybe it was just what happened when dozens of parents of first graders got together to see their little ones performing something they had been working so hard on.
Nick reached out and put his hand on hers, and she nearly moaned, right there in the middle of the crowded gym, it felt so good to feel his touch. To have his warm hand on hers, soft as a caress. She was so far gone for this man that it scared her. She forced herself to pay attention as Miss Goodrich got up and thanked everyone for coming and introduced the program.
Then the curtains opened and everyone clapped. She immediately found Aiden with all the other first graders on the risers, Holly right next to him. His eyes were scanning the crowd and as soon as they landed on her and Nick, he started waving wildly. Holly followed Aiden’s gaze, and she waved, too, although much more restrained.
As she watched them up on stage, singing the first two songs they’d learned, she couldn’t help but think about how much Aiden was falling for Nick, too. As they’d walked into the school, Aiden had held Rachel’s hand and Holly held Nick’s. Then Aidenhad reached out with his other hand and took Nick’s free hand, so he was between the two of them. As great as it was, and as much as it had made it feel like they were a little family of four, it freaked her out even more because she could see how much Aiden was getting attached.
When they finished singing the two songs, they started reciting the poemThe Night before Christmasand she pulled out her phone to video it. It was impressive that they knew it so well—it was a long poem. Aiden had been practicing it at home so much that she all but had the thing memorized, too.
Then they got to the part where they listed the names of the eight reindeer and a couple of kids started saying the names out of order, which messed up more kids, and soon it was all just a jumble of reindeer names. She chuckled, trying to keep it silent so it wouldn’t be on the video.
Neither she nor Nick, though, managed to keep their chuckling quiet when Aiden got extra enthusiastic with the line “Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all,” making arm motions that Holly was quick to mimic. The poor kid on the other side of Aiden nearly got knocked off the riser in the exuberance.
Then came the line, “Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound,” and the six-year-old who was dressed as Santa took it to mean that he needed to leap through the fireplace opening. The big, stuffed bag that the kid had slung onto his back didn’t quite follow the same trajectory, and it hit the side of the set piece.
The kid yanked the bag at the same time, and as the group said in unison, “He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,” the fireplace started slowly tipping forward and everyone in the audience leaned in their seats, holding their breaths.
As the falling of the fireplace started to pick up speed, the kids on the risers noticed and all the ones on Aiden’s side leapedfrom their spots and rushed to push it back to standing. Most of the other kids were gasping and pointing, but a handful of kids kept saying the lines of the poem, either oblivious to what was happening or determined to see it through to the end.
They got the fireplace righted and the audience let out a collective breath. The kids were all grinning like they’d singlehandedly saved Christmas.
“Don’t worry, Santa,” Aiden said, loud enough that everyone heard, “we’ve got your back.”
“Ho, ho, ho,” Santa said. “Thank you for saving my life.”
“Does this mean we’ll get extra presents?” A kid called out.
They were down to three kids still reciting the poem, and as they were very determinedly shouting now, “He had a broad face and a little round belly that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.”
