She shrugged. “We only had one. Well, two, kind of. The second was because of the first. My dad hated Christmas, so we couldn’t celebrate it at all unless we wanted him to be even more cranky than usual, and he was very cranky about everything at Christmastime. He probably had his own trauma related to the holiday, but it wasn’t like I was going to ask about it.
“My mom had no issue with the holiday, but she reacted to my dad’s ‘seasonal irritability’ by kind of checking out. When she was present, she would leave a Dove chocolate on my pillow. It wasn’t Christmassy, so we didn’t risk setting off my dad, but the first time she gave me one, she told me that doves representpeace, so it was my little piece of peace for when our house wasn’t peaceful. I lived for getting those little chocolates on my pillow.”
She glanced at Nick to see that he was watching her with a curious expression. She didn’t know how she felt about his focus being on her so intently. Looking back at where Aiden stood a couple of dozen feet away by a sculpture of Santa and Mrs. Claus, she said, “I think I’ve pointed out doves enough around Christmastime that Aiden thinks they’re practically magical. Well, he pretty much thinks all of Christmas is magical. It has always been one of my number one goals for him.
“A few years ago, I found some Christmas tree dove ornaments. They have real feathers on them with little clips where their feet are so they can clip on a branch. I got half a dozen of them. Aiden loves them so much! He always spends a lot of time at the tree each year, petting the doves with a single careful finger.”
She glanced again at Nick, and this time, he was looking at her with something different in his expression. A softness, for sure. But there was something else behind those eyes that she couldn’t quite name that made her insides react in a way that she hadn’t felt in a while. Was she so date-starved that a soft look would impact her so much? And why did she suddenly not know how to react?
She broke eye contact and said, “Wow. The kids haven’t pulled us over to them even once. Should we be concerned?”
Nick nodded in their direction, where they were whispering something to each other, giggling. “Clearly, yes. That’s the look of two kids plotting something.”
The kids ran toward them, racing around a circle of miniature snowmen whose stick arms made it look like they were holding hands, and stopped right in front of her and Nick.
“Can we go on the train now?” Holly asked.
“Sure thing,” Nick said.
Holly grabbed Nick’s hand and Aiden grabbed Rachel’s, and the two kids pulled them toward Santa’s village and the kid-sized train that ran all around it. As they neared the arch where everyone lined up to ride on the train, Aiden stopped and said, “My hat is getting itchy,” and took it off. “Will you wear it on your head?”
“I can hold it for you,” she offered.
He shook his head. “No, it has to be over your hat.”
Rachel looked over at Nick. It was clear by the look on his face that he hadn’t heard the legend that said if you wear a Santa hat when you walk under the arch leading to the Christmas train that you’d fall in love. Based on the way Aiden and Holly were sharing looks and still giggling, Aiden had let Holly in on that little piece of knowledge. And Holly’s dad was conveniently already wearing a Santa hat.
She took a deep breath. Of course,shedidn’t believe the myth, but Aiden did. Would wearing the hat give him false hope? Or would not wearing it take away a bit of the Christmas magic that he and Holly were feeling? It was obviously important to them.
She was suddenly picturing Courtney and Lucy standing there, reminding her that this was her Season of Yes and this choice counted.
It was not that big of a deal. She smiled at Aiden and said, “Okay, put it on me.”
She crouched down and he struggled for a moment as he tried to fit the kid-sized Santa hat not only on an adult-sized head but on a head that was already wearing a knitted hat. Eventually, he just kind of balanced it there and she stood back up, trying to hold her head level so it wouldn’t fall off. Both kids were so happy they were practically dancing. It was the right decision.
The giggling intensified as they walked under the arch. At least they were getting along.
There weren’t too many people at the park right then, so it didn’t take long before it was Aiden’s and Holly’s turn to get on the train. Nick had his phone out, ready to take pictures before Rachel even got a chance to pull out hers. They both took a few pictures, then Rachel just watched as Nick started videoing the train ride. She loved how attentive he was as a father. Between growing up with her dad, losing both of her parents, and then having Aiden at age twenty-four, she’d gathered quite the list of requirements for a future husband, and many of them had to do with how the guy might be as a dad.
Maybe that was why she dated so infrequently. It was hard to find someone who would be a great husband and a great dad, and who would be willing to step right into the dad role from day one. Why did she have to find someone who seemed perfect, but was still grieving his late wife?
Because it had been a very long time since she’d looked at a guy like she was now looking at Nick and felt such a strong attraction. The guy’s nose, cheeks, and the tops of his ears were red from the cold, yet he was in Santa’s village with his daughter, looking like he was loving every minute of it.
Courtney’s words, “I think that’s the sign of a guy with the capacity to love someone deeply” echoed in her head. That was what she was seeing—a man loving his daughter deeply.
The train was coming back around for its final time, and a few of the kids waiting to get on bumped into her in their excitement, pushing Rachel right into Nick. He wrapped his arms around her to steady her and keep her from knocking them both down.
“I got you,” he said in a low tone. His voice, so close to her ear, her chest against his, his arms wrapped around her, sent warm shivers through her body. She stood frozen for a moment,so shocked at all the emotions coursing through her that she couldn’t move.
“Mom!” Aiden shouted as he leaped off the train, not even looking over at her, his eyes glued to something by the gazebo that had wall panels to make it look like a gingerbread house. “I found a dove!”
Rachel mumbled “Thanks” to Nick, then straightened herself up to standing and not pressed into his embrace, her cheeks feeling not quite as cold as they were. She grabbed the Santa hat that had fallen from her head to his shoulder, then hurried to catch up to Aiden as he was making a beeline to the gazebo.
“I knew I’d find a dove here!” Aiden said as she caught up to him. The decoration was new—it was slightly bigger than an actual dove and was perched on a post right next to the gingerbread house. Aiden took off his gloves and reached down into his pocket to pull out a small, wrinkled, folded piece of paper.
“Is that your Christmas list?” Rachel asked him. “I thought you wanted to go give that to Santa.”
Aiden shook his head as he worked the paper into the claw of the dove. “It’s a Christmaswish.”
