“Ahh,”Zoesays. “ThatIcan picture.Speakingof favorites, that’s what we should play.”
Myeyebrows draw together. “Oh, that game where one of us asks something like, ‘What’syour favorite spy movie?’Andby the way, if you say anything other thanTrueLies, we’re turning this canoe around.”
“Nope.It’sgot to beSpyKids.It’sthe ultimate classic.Andexactly.Exceptthe questions aren’t limited to favorites.”
“SpyKidsdoesn’t haveArnold, but it does have jet packs, soI’llgive that one to you.Whoasks first?”
“Iwill.Um….Oh.What’syour favorite embarrassing story from growing up?Youknow, just in caseIneed to know for teasing purposes later.”
“Okay,I’lltell you,”Isay, “but only if you tell yours first.Ineed to know how high to set the bar.”
“Fine,”Zoesays asIpaddle the boat along an inlet. “Thereare so many…Whatto choose?Oh, got one.Okay, so whenIwas a teenager,Ilooked young.WhenIsay young,Imeanyoung.And,I’vegot to tell you, at an age when you want people to treat you as if you’re older, it’sthe worst time to look younger.Especiallywhen you’re doing things like getting your driver’s license and applying for your first job.
“Anyway,Ihad been in the same foster home with two foster brothers for about a year, so we knew each other pretty well.Iwas fifteen— a sophomore— and my foster brother,Justice, was a junior.Wewere both in the same biology class.
“Oneday, we had a substitute teacher, andIrememberJusticereferring to me as his sister at one point.Atthe end of class, the sub asked us to stay after and come talk to her.Sowe did, except she mostly talked toJustice.Shesaid in a super kind, trying-to-be-helpful-and-understanding voice, ‘Ithink it’s sweet that you brought your sister to class.I’mimpressed with how well-behaved and surprisingly knowledgeable she is.’”
“Well-behaved?”Isay, mostly because it feels so odd.
“Yep.Thenshe says, ‘Butthis isn’t the place for her, and it’s not really appropriate to bring her with you.Ifit’s a matter of having a single parent at home with no babysitter, there are resources available.’Okay, that look of confusion on your face right now?That’sexactly how our faces looked at this point.Thenshe says, ‘Anddon’t you think her elementary school teacher and her friends are missing her not being in her own class right now?’ShethoughtIwas inelementary school.”
Igive a hearty laugh.It’sridiculous how happy it makes me just being with her. “Oh, wow— that is young!”
She’slaughing, too. “Iswear to you,Ididn’t look elementary-school young.Ilooked more likefourteen instead of fifteen.And, of course, the most gossipy jock was also waiting to see the teacher, so he started a whole rash of people saying things like ‘Didyou get permission from your mom?’And‘Doesyour mom know you’re here?’ anytimeIdid anything, and it lasted for the rest of the school year.”
“Well, if it’s any consolation, you totally outgrew it in the most beautiful way possible.”
Zoesmiles and lifts her boot a bit. “It’sbecauseIaccessorize well, isn’t it?”
“Thatis a factor.”Thedoctor told her to keep the boot on for six weeks.Ididn’t think she would make it past two weeks.Attimes,Ididn’t think she’d make it past two days.Butit’s been three weeks, and she’s still going strong.
“Okay, your turn.”
“Allright,”Isay. “I’llstick with your substitute teacher theme.Ithink we’ve already covered that it was important to me to do well in school.AndIdid.Butwhen people would look at me, what they saw was ‘Dumbjock.’And, well, let’s just say that sometimesIplayed it up for a laugh.Likein my junior year math class when we had a sub.
“Itwas clear from the beginning of class that was exactly how she saw me, soIdecided to mess with her.Everytime she asked a question,I’draise my hand and give an answer, showingIclearly didn’t even know basic arithmetic.Shecalled me up in front of the class to do a problem on the white board.I’mpretty sure it was so she could stress the importance of doing our homework.
“SoIdid the math, in the most wrong way possible,giving my reasoning behind whatIwas doing for each step out loud.Someof my reasoning wasn’t even math-related— it had to do with things witnessed in nature, or thingsIoverheard while at a movie theater or something.Allof it was ridiculous.And, of course, my answer wasn’t even in the ballpark.Itwasn’t even in the same state as the ballpark.”
Zoestarts laughing, andIcontinue, hopingIcan make that laughing continue.
“Everyonein the class was loving it.Itwas early in the school year.Probablyhalf of them knew me well enough to know thatIwasn’t that dumb, but the other half probably had their suspicions.Myplan was to eventually blow the sub’s mind by correctly solving the other problem that was on the board, which was much more complex, thereby proving that she— along with anyone else who had been judging the book by its cover— had been wrong about me.
“JustasIwas about to reveal my true genius, the principal came in and asked if he could take a minute to tell us about…Idon’t even remember.Newschool safety procedures or about the standardized testing schedule or something.Andthen he talked until the bell rang to end class, leaving me looking likeIcouldn’t tell a mathematical variable from a pirate’s booty, thereby solidifying my reputation as a dumb jock.”
“Oh,Iwill definitely be teasing you about this later.”Zoe’slaughing enough now that she’s wiping a tear from her eye, and getting that kind of reaction from her makes my chest puff up just a bit.
“Okay, my turn,”Isay. “Ifwe got strandedand had to camp out here, which of us do you think would survive the longest and why?”
“Me, for sure, because my bag has a secret stash of chocolate.Survivalof the sweetest.”
“Andyou’re just going to live off chocolate?”
“I’mpretty sure it can be done.Why?Doyou think you would last the longest?Whatdo you think you’ll survive off of?”
“Oh,I’llhave plenty of food.Ican fish with my hands, remember?”
“Asvital as chocolate is, protein would be nice.I’llgive that to you.Okay, what would you do if that bird that has been following us is a spy bird, trained to eavesdrop on us?”
