Weare sitting on the bed like the comforter is a picnic blanket, andZoelaughs and breaks off another piece, holding it out toward me like she wants to place it right in my mouth. “Comeon, try it.Livedangerously.Whoknows, you might just find that your taste buds are more adventurous than you’ve given them credit for.”
Eventhough, smell aside, it looks rather tempting betweenZoe’sfingers and part of me really wants to lean in toward it, to lean into her,Ieye it like it’s a live grenade. “Idon’t have aHAZMATsuit with me, soIdon’t thinkI’llsurvive the first bite.I’lljust stick with this adventure,”Isay, picking up my burger which actually looks rather tasty.Itprobablysmellstasty, too, but it’s hard to tell over the stench of the cheese.Itake a bite— it’s definitely tasty.
Zoepops the cheese into her mouth. “Youdon’t knowwhat you’re missing,Lancaster.ButI’mhappy that it means there’s more for me.”
Ilift my burger, and just beforeItake a bite,Isay, “Whenyou find the right guy, you’ll make sure to warn him about your stinky cheese obsession before you get to the ‘Ido’s, right?”Icannot believeIjust said that.Asfar asIknow, marriage hadn’t even been on my brain.Ithad to have been the baby carriage that planted the thought.Itwas still working in my subconscious.Iblame it all on that.ButI’malso surprised thatIactually planted the mental image ofZoebeing with anyone else.Idon’t like that image at all.
Zoe’sinitial reaction is a shocked look thatIcan’t quite read before it’s gone, and then she scoffs. “Iamnotgetting married.”
“Ever?”Iask.I’mboth surprised and not surprised at the same time.And, strangely, a teeny bit disappointed.
“Oh, come on,” she says. “AsifI’dhave any idea how to be married.NoDad, remember?Andit wasn’t like most of the foster homesIlived in were shining examples of marriage.Mostof the time, they just fought.”
Shereaches up and touches the locket at her neck before picking up her fork and moving it around her risotto. “Therewas one familyIstayed with thatwasa shining example, though.Myfirst one.Iwas five— in the middle of myKindergartenyear.Itwas the one place that showed me that life could be different.Icould live a lifeInever knew existed.”
It’sbeen a long time sinceZoeshared anything personal with me.Atleast not anythinglike this.I’mholding my breath, likeI’llbe able to keep from spooking her into stopping, but she’s stopped anyway.SoIgive a little nudge. “Howlong were you there?”
“Fivemonths, thenIwent back to live with my mom.I’veoften wondered what my life would be like ifIhad been able to just stay with them, though.IfI’dnever gone back with my mom and then into different foster homes.MaybeIcould’ve eventually been adopted by them.IfIhad been, then maybeIwould understand how to be married.”
Shegives an almost imperceptible shake of her head as if she just realized that she got so personal and is pulling herself out of it. “Howabout you?Doyou think you’ll get married?”
“Sure.Atsome point.”Huh.Myinitial thought wasn’t my usualHeckno.I’mnot about to give up my freedom!Mymom would be so proud if she knew.OnlyCharlieis younger than me and none of my older siblings are married, soIdoubt she’s been worried thatI’mtwenty-six and still not married.ButI’mbetting it has crossed her mind thatImight not ever want to be.
Honestly,I’malso pretty surprised at my line of thinking.I’vehad a couple of previous relationships that made me feel trapped and that’s the worst feeling.
“Iguess that makes sense,”Zoesays. “Yougrew up in a house with a pretty good example of marriage, right?Yourparents were at least married long enough to have… how many kids?
“Six.Andyeah, my parents were married all the way up until my dad died.”
“Six?!”Ididn’t seeZoetake a bite of her risotto, but it seems like she’s almost choking on it. “Howdid this never come up inMoldova?”
Ishrug. “Iguess it’s because we spent all our time talking about being intelligence operatives.Andwhat we wanted in our futures.”
“Andabout our moms.”
Inod.
“Butapparently not about siblings.Okay,” she says, holding up one finger, “soI’vemetJacein the field a couple of times, andIdid know then that he’s your brother.”
“Hejust got engaged while we were both on that mission inCairo, soI’llget a sister-in-law soon, too.”
“Andapparently your handler—”
“Mysubstitute handler—”
“—Charlieis your sister.Andthen there’s your brother who’s the dad of your niece…Blake, right?”
“Yep, he’s the oldest.Thenyou knowEmerson.”
“Ido?”Amoment of confusion crosses her face before she gasps. “Emerson?Asin the lead analyst that teamed up withKenneth?He’syourbrother?”
Ithadn’t occurred to me that she didn’t know.She’sstill gaping at me in stunned silence whenIsay, “Andthen there’s my twin,Miles.Idon’t know if you saw him when you came in for the mission briefing.”
“Milesis your brother, too?Iknowofhim but haven’t met him.Ledger, does your entire family work for theCSA?”
“NotBlake.”
“Oh, of course.NotBlake.Theblack sheep.Becauseyou live in some insane world wherenotbeing an intelligence operative would make someone the black sheep of the family.”Sherolls her eyes. “It’sa good thing you’ve got theCSAbecause that kind of nepotism would never fly at theCIA.”
