Parker’smouth went dry.Hetried to swallow. “Ithink he’s wrong about me.I’vegot too many issues to ever be good enough for her.”
Thetrain came back around again, andParkerstopped it.HeandMeritgot the group of kids off and a new group on, and then started the new group around the village.
“Whatmakes you think you’re out of her league?”
Helet out a huff of a humorless laugh. “Myex-fiancée spelled it out for me.”
“How?”
Parkerhadn’t told anyone the specifics.NotDarren, notAdam, not any of his other friends, not even his parents.Hehad no idea why he felt compelled to tellMerit.Maybehe just needed it off his shoulders for a bit.
“Shesaid she was just going to walk away, but she cared about me, so she gave me a list of all the waysIdidn’t measure up.Apparently, she’d been adding to the list from the start and, without telling me, had given me a date to overcome those flaws.Theday she ended it was that date.
“Iguess she should’ve added ‘Notself-aware’ to the list, because not only hadInot guessed that she had a list, butIhadn’t figured out what was on it, andIdefinitely hadn’t been working on fixing them.”
“Ouch,”Meritsaid, wincing. “That’sharsh.Whatkinds of things were on it?”
Itstill hurt to think about it, and he was embarrassed by every single item on it. “Somelittle things, like the wayIpronounced some words, thatIdidn’t have the content of the notifications on my phone hidden, thatIdidn’t use an umbrella in the rain, thatIdanced in the car, some of the clothesIwore, stuff like that.Andthen some bigger things, like getting too focused on projects and not putting her as my number one priority.”
Thelist was long.Someof the things he stopped doing immediately.Forothers, he didn’t understand what he’d been doing wrong, so he’d had no idea how to fix them.Thosehad been the most maddening ones.Theones that brought him down the most.Theones that he didn’t even let himself think about, because they stabbed him in the heart too painfully if he did.
Andout of all the people he could’ve listed his flaws to, he couldn’t believe he just told theCEOof the company he worked at.
Meritshook his head. “Itsounds like a list only someone who didn’t have that connection would make.Iwouldn’t put too much stock in it.”
Meritwas assuming too much.Hehadn’t seen the list.Hehadn’t seen the look onSteph’sface when she’d given it to him.Hehadn’t heard them in her voice.
Parkerhad.
“Letme ask you this, then,”Meritsaid, studying him. “IsKellivery similar to your ex?”
Parkerlooked over to whereKelliheldHope, who must’ve woken up becauseKelliwas making faces at her.Hewatched her smiling and laughing for several long moments.Kelliwas every bit as bright, happy, and nonjudgmental when she was entertaining a baby as she was talking to a stranger, a coworker, or a homeless woman.
Heshook his head.Shevery much wasn’t.
DidGrahamthink thatKelliwould be able to look past all ofParker’sfaults and shortcomings and see the man who had fallen for her so completely?Maybe.Hewasn’t sure thatGrahamwas correct, but he very much hoped that he was.
Thirteen
Kelli
Kellihad imaginedthat theChristmasEvedinner in the mansion would be idyllic.Thesixteen of them would all eat amazing food and talk and laugh and even if you were on the outside looking in and couldn’t hear what was being said, you could tell that it was a happy group, enjoying each other’s company.
Ina lot of ways it was.Thefood was fantastic and there was lots of talking and laughing.Therewere also hilarious stories ofChristmasesgone wrong, a few spontaneous bursts into song with everyone joining in, a dish of roasted butternut squash spilled,DavisandAddisonlooking at each other like maybe there were some sparks between the two of them, some impressions of actors inChristmasmovies saying iconic lines, a couple of people who had a bit too much to drink and became quite entertaining themselves, and some sharing of favoriteChristmastraditions.Itfelt more than idyllic; it felt like a family.
Thebest part, though, was sitting next toParkerthrough the whole thing.Hewas funny and sweet, and for as long as she had been working on the same floor as him, nothing at all like she had assumed.Andhe kept looking over at her in a way that made her heart somehow melt and do flips at the same time.
Then,Tessatold a story about how she grew up in a rural area and their family was super poor, but they decided that a neighboring family needed gifts forChristmasworse than they did.Asthey were sneaking across the fields to deliver them, they ran into the family they were headed toward, who just happened to be sneaking through the fields at the exact same time to give everything they had forChristmasto her family.
WhileTessatold the story,Parkerhad his hand resting at the side of his chair andKelli’swas resting at the side of her chair.Andall she could think of was how much she wanted to touch his hand.Toreach out and close that distance, make that connection.
Butit was scary.No, it was terrifying.Whatif she wasn’t ready for this?Whatif it was a big mistake that she would regret once they got back to real life and saw each other at work five days a week?
Whatif he didn’t want that connection?Whatif she reached out but was denied, and then she just ended up feeling stupid and had to find a way to avoid him for the rest of the trip?
Shewas feeling pulled to him so strongly, though, that she had to try.Witha hand that managed to only be a little shaky, she reached across the six inches of space separating the two of them and ironically, just like in the storyTessawas telling, he was reaching across the space between them as well.
Theirpinkies touched first, just brushing up against each other so softly that she held her hand there, just taking in the gentle, sweet feel of his skin barely touching hers.Then, in a burst of bravery, she linked her pinky with his.
