Watchinghim compromised the time she had to work, but she couldn’t help glancing up every few seconds and trying to guess how well he and his mom got along.Everytime she looked, he was laughing and smiling.Itmight have possibly made her heart melt into a giant puddle of goo.Sheknew several people who had perfectly wonderful moms, and they got annoyed when she called.Theydidn’t have a clue how lucky they were to even have a mom!
Sheknew she could never seriously date a guy who didn’t respect his mom.Hegot bonus points if his mom was amazing and wonderful, and if there was a possibility that she could one day be her mother-in-law.Andwhen that day came, she wasn’t going to call her by her name—she was going to call whoever it was “Mom.”
Kelli!Shepractically shouted to herself so she’d stop.Thinkingthose kinds of things, while she was watching this beautiful man she shouldn’t date, seeing him smile as he put everything on hold to talk to his mom, was as good as walking right into the danger zone and completely ignoring the flashing warning lights.
Soshe turned all of her focus back to her gingerbread house, and before long,Parkerfinished his call and came back and did the same thing.
Onceshe got the structure all in place, she started with the decorating.Forthe bottom house, she decided to use the pastel-colored circular flat wafer candies as the shingles.Itwas her dad’s favorite way to decorate the roof, so she did it to bring a little bit of him here.Sheput the frosting on as glue and then started placing the wafers.
Asshe placed the first row of shingles, her annual discussion with her dad about whether the colors should be random or done in a pattern came to mind.Shelet her dad win this one and placed them randomly.
Witheach one she placed, though, the sadness at not doing this with him started to creep in.Makinggingerbread houses wasn’t something she had ever done with her mom—it was something her dad had started their firstChristmaswithout her.Hesaid they needed to come up with some new traditions that were just for the two of them since that was their family now.
ThatfirstChristmashad been hard, andKellihadn’t dealt with everything very well.Butshe and her dad creating something unique and very much them had made her feel like maybe the two of them could take on the world, as long as they had each other.Shemissed him.
Beforeshe knew it, a tear was running down her cheek.Shebrushed it away and kept working.Itfelt wrong to be doing this without him.Thiswas their thing.Sheand her dad together.Doingthis alone wasn’t right.
Notsharing all of theirChristmastraditions together wasn’t right.
NotspendingChristmaswith him wasn’t right.
Moretears fell.Oneeven splashed down onto the table next to her gingerbread house.
Herdad taking off with his new family and not inviting her wasn’t the same as her mom leaving.Shecould still text her dad, after all.Butsomehow that familiar grief of being left behind by a parent, of not being good enough to keep them around, settled on her and made her feel like she was going to crumble in on herself.
Herbreathing quickened and hitched and she tried to keep it under control and quiet so it wasn’t obvious to anyone else.Beforelong, she could no longer see the gingerbread house through the tears, so she hurried away in the direction of a hallway where she guessed the restrooms might be.
Ithad been the wrong choice.Shetried the knobs on all three doors, but there weren’t restrooms there—just locked storage areas.Sheturned to run out of the building itself if she had to and ran right intoParker’schest.
“Hey, are you okay?”Heput his hands on her shoulders and pushed her back just enough to see her face.Aface she very much didn’t want him to see because it was tear-stained and mascara-stained and probably all red and blotchy and she knew she wasn’t a pretty crier.Thatwas why she never did it in public.Butshe was a mess and couldn’t exactly stop the tears.
Heonly glanced at her face long enough to see she was upset, though, before he wrapped his strong arms around her and held her tight.Shefelt like she was completely falling apart, but he held her, keeping all the pieces together as she sobbed.Asshe grieved over the mom she lost half a lifetime ago and the dad she had been losing slowly over the past year, and then very quickly over the past week.Shegrieved for the scared little girl she was, the girl who couldn’t seem to be perfect enough to keep either of them.
Parkerdidn’t talk; he just held her as she silently cried, soaking the shoulder of his shirt.Shefelt the losses so strongly and so deeply, yet as she wept inParker’sarms, she felt more safe and protected than she’d felt in her life.
Finally, the tears ran out, and she was still in one piece.Shelet go of her fierce hold on him, and he loosened his arms enough that she could’ve stepped out of his embrace if she wanted to, but close enough that they were still there if she needed them.Shewiped at the tears on her face, horrified that he was seeing how awful she must look right now.
Thenshe let out a breath of a laugh. “Iam so sorry for doing this to your shirt.”Shewiped at the massive wet spot on his shirt.Awet spot that also held a good amount of mascara.
“Theshirt’s fine.”Heglanced in the direction of the main room. “There’san exit only about eight feet past the end of this hall.Whatdo you say we get out of here?”
Shenodded and wiped at the remnants of tears on her face while he went back into the main room and grabbed their jackets, then came back and held hers as she slipped her arms into the sleeves.Thenshe stayed tight to his side as he put an arm around her and led them outside and away from people she might see at work.
“Whodo you normally spendChristmaswith?”Hisquestion was soft and concerned and felt like a warm blanket on a cold day.
“Mydad.He’sspending thisChristmaswith his new wife and kids.”
Parkerled her through the dark and onto the lighted path that she knew would take them around the gardens and up the road to the mansion. “AndI’mguessing that you normally make gingerbread houses together?”
Shenodded.
“It’sa tradition in my family, too.It’shard not being with them.”
Shelooked up at him, so grateful that he understood and that he was leading her away from the crowd.
“Isyour dad aHallmarkChristmasmovie fan?”
Sheshook her head.
