AndthenIrealize that the song she is singing isSecretAgentManand my eyes fly open.Themission.Mackenzie.CryptexEndeavor.Iimmediately sit up, and the change from peaceful bliss to worry and shock thatIfell asleep during a mission does not mix with the change in position, and my lightheadedness nearly makes me pass out.
ButIdo not pass out.Thatis not somethingIdo.
Mackenzieruns a hand down my upper arm. “Shh.Everything’sfine.Youjust got a message, probably fromCharlie.Ithought you’d want to know.”
“Ido, thank you.”Irun a hand over my face to wake myself up asIgrab my phone.Ican’t believeIfell asleep during a mission.Thatis something that has never happened before.AndIcan tell by how long it is taking to pull myself out of the haze that it was a deep sleep.
AsI’mentering the 8-digit password,Iglance atMackenziefrom the corner of my eye.Crazyas it sounds,Iknow it is becauseIwas using her lap as a pillow.Ithits me that outside of family,Ihave never felt so safe in the presence of another person before.Maybethat is why my body got confused and thought it was okay to sleep.
IopenCharlie’stext.Itcontains five words that turn my panic at falling asleep during a crisis to sheer relief:Wegot them.Mackenzie’ssafe.
Iam grinning asIturn the phone to showMackenzie.
Herface brightens. “That’sit?Nomore threat?”
“Nomore threat.”
TreytonandVincecome into the room from the hallway that leads to the two bedrooms— one facing the front of the house and one the back— where they’d been standing watch.
“Didyou get the all-clear?”Vinceasks.
Inod asIlook down at the text that just came in on my phone.
Mackenzieturns to me, a look of uncertainty on her face. “So…Whatdoes that mean?Whathappens next?”
Irespond to the text and then meetMackenzie’seyes. “Next, the director would like you to come in for a debriefing.”
Eventhough we just got the news that the threat to her has been eliminated, the look on her face now is closer to terror than uncertainty.Sheleans in close and says, “That’syour mom, right?”
Ichuckle. “Itis.”
Theoperatives who drove us here ask if we want to be driven back in the moving truck or if we want to take the motorcycle.Ilook toMackenzieand she chooses the bike.Thistime, as we drive withMackenziebehind me, wearing my helmet, arms wrapped around my middle,Idoenjoy the ride.Thefeel of her arms wrapped around me, holding tightly to me.Herbody pressed up against mine.Herhead occasionally turned to the side, resting against my back.
Whenwe are at a traffic light,Iask if she minds if we stop by my apartment on our way to the agency, and she doesn’t seem to mind.Thejeans and thermal shirtI’mwearing are onesIkeep at the agency in caseIneed to quickly leave for a mission that requires more casual clothes than my usual suit.Idon’t want to wear them for a debriefing, especially sinceI’vebeen wearing them since last night, and the only other clothesIhave at the office is the tuxIwore to the gala.
Thethought makes me realize just how long ago that feels like it was.Ifsomeone told me that the events that happened before the last twenty-one hours actually happened a week ago,Iwould believe them, no questions asked.
Itdidn’t seem like a big deal to bringMackenzieback to my apartment—Ihadn’t even thought twice before asking her.Butas we step through the doorway and into my living space, and asMackenziestarts looking around at my couches, artwork, and the state of my kitchen, it hits me how unusual it is for me to bring her here.
Idon’t let anyone in my place besides family or friends.Andsince all my friends work at theCSA, they’ve all been carefully vetted.Nopest control, even thoughIsaw a spider last week; not a housekeeper, even thoughIam sure that the dust bunnies under my furniture are multiplying; and not an electrician,HVACrepairman, or carpet cleaning company.Noone who could possibly plant a bug or search for sensitive information or compromise me or any of my things.
AndIdefinitely haven’t ever brought a woman up here.
InvitingMackenziein, more than anything, shows how muchI’vefallen for her without even realizing how far.Well, okay, telling her thatIwork for theCSAas an intelligence operative showed it pretty well, too.Apparently, it’s been a big day for me.
“Makeyourself at home,”Isay. “I’llbe quick.”
Ican shower in four minutes flat.I’vetimed myself.Idecide to take the four minutes, mainly because it feels like it has been a week sinceIlast showered, even though it has probably only been twelve hours.
ButIdo it in three becauseIknow thatMackenzieis on the other side of my bedroom door, presumably looking at everything in sight in my apartment.I’mpretty sure she’s noticing a few unwashed dishes, my one and only houseplant that is barely alive, and the candid shot of my family laughing between the actual professional shots of our family portraits— the one whereI’mthirteen and am sporting braces, acne, and a less-than-flattering hairstyle.
Itowel off, dress, and open my bedroom door six-and-a-half minutes afterIclosed it.Myhairstyle is courtesy of my towel, andI’mstill putting a tie around my neck asMackenzieturns around from where she’s studying a framed picture that sits on a shelf of me andCharlie, taken on the day she became my handler.Charlie’sgrin is so big that her entire face shows it.
Hereyes rake over me, andIdon’t miss the look of appreciation.Shestrides right over to me, runs her hands down the front of my white button-down, and says, “Lookingmighty fine,Mr.Bond.”Imight have protested the reference, but then she pulls me even closer and plants a kiss on my lips, andIdecide she can call me whatever she likes.Spy, agent,MI6, goon— whatever.She’llget no complaint from me.
Iwant to stay here, kissing her right in the middle of my apartment— in fact, in every room in my apartment— for hours.ButIalso know that we need to get to the agency for the debriefing, soIonly indulge for a minute.Okay, maybe more than a minute.Myshower was faster.
Mackenzieis the first to pull back, but she seems every bit as reluctant as me to end it.Really, we don’t even have to stay here kissing.Ijust want to be with her.Formore than just a moment.ButIwill take every momentIcan get— every one of them matters.Iam a miser, hoarding every momentIcan.
