Itall makes me feel a lot better about the gala onSaturday.
Aswe walk,Mackenziepoints out things along our way that make this her favorite walking path.Thingslike a cool-looking bush, some vibrant flowers, a kitty that’s always in someone’s window, a ball field where kids are playing soccer.
“RememberhowIsaid that the ballIchose at mini golf was the color of our jerseys?Thiswas where we played.”
“Really?”Mackenzieasks and looks at me like she’s seeing me in a different light and wants to be able to see it all.
Ipoint out all the areas of significance for me growing up as we walk.Housesof kidsIwent to birthday parties at, the general area whereIlived, places we used to go after school.Andfor a couple of them, she names people who live there now.Shealso points out the house of one person in her club.
“Mymom still lives in the house we grew up in.Charlielives in town, of course, and so does my brotherBlakeand his daughter.”
“Youhave a niece?”
Inod. “She’stwo and is the most adorable little girl on the planet.”
“Ahh, but see, you haven’t met my niece, yet.”
Idon’t miss her use of the wordyet.Itmakes me happier than it should.Everythingabout being withMackenzie, in her world, makes me feel happy.And… normal.
Theyards here are all well cared for.Somehomes have beautiful landscaping, but most are pretty ordinary.Almostall have mowed yards and everything is clean and nice, though.Inever really appreciated that enough as a kid.
Ipoint at a street we are coming up to. “Andthat road right there leads to my elementary school.Seethat short picket fence on the right, three houses down?Myolder brother,Emerson, bet me thatIcouldn’t jump over that fence on the way to school once.Iwas probably in third grade, so he would’ve been in fourth.Iwanted to prove to him thatIcould, soIstarted back a bit, then got running as fast asIcould and jumped.Imostly made it.”
“Define‘mostly.’”
“Imade it over.Mypants did not.Oneof the wood pieces had split, and my pants, just below the back pocket, caught on it.Ittore a flap big enough to expose my underwear on my entire right cheek.”
Mackenzielaughs, andIcan’t help laughing, either. “Eventhough it was embarrassing at the time,”Isay, “we still found it funny.Allmy siblings were with me— it was the one year we were all in elementary school together— soIhad help.Whichwas good, because we knew our parents had already left for work.AndbecauseEmersonisEmerson, he was prepared enough to have a roll of duct tape in his backpack, and they got my pants sealed up good.”
Mackenzieis laughing even more right now, and it does something to my chest.
Sheasks, “Didthe duct tape at least match the color of your pants?”
Ishake my head. “Itwas about the color of my soccer jersey that year.”
Mackenzieis wiping at her eyes, her shoulders shaking from laughter.Roxyknows something fun is happening, so she’s walking with an extra bounce in her step, trying to keep looking at us.
Ican’t believeI’mtelling her all of this.Iam an expert at getting the other person to spill all their secrets without revealing any of my own.It’slikeMackenzieopened the floodgates to my life andI’mjust letting it all spill out.Ihaven’t talked about any of this stuff for probably the last six yearsI’veworked at the agency.
Honestly,Ididn’t even know thatIcould.Whenyou get so used to covering up all the details about your life, it’s hard to uncover them.Partlybecause it feels wrong to be so exposed and partly because of habit and ingrained protocols.
Butthere’s something aboutMackenzieknowing this part of me that is exhilarating.It’sbeen so long sinceI’veshared anything that isn’t part of my legend thatI’veforgotten how it feels to be so open.Untethered.Vulnerable.
Dangerous.
CHAPTER16
OPENING THE FLOODGATES
JACE
“You’reabout half a mile beyond where the subject normally ends her walk,”Charliesays in my ear and it makes me jump.Ihad somehow forgotten she was there.Shemust sense thatI’mforgettingI’mon a mission and that’s why she refers to her asthe subjectinstead ofMackenzie. “How’sthat weather looking?Becausefrom whatIcan see, it doesn’t look good.”
Ilook up, surprisedIhave somehow missed that, too.Theskies are gray and storm clouds are definitely making their way in.Ilook atMackenzie. “Weshould probably turn back.”
Mackenzielooks up, too, and seems just as surprised as me that the weather turned while we were paying attention to other things.
Weare maybe a fourth of the way back when a raindrop hits my arm, and we pick up the pace.Aswe are nearing the halfway mark, lightning flashes, brightening an area that had somehow turned dark so fast.It’sclose enough that the hairs on my arm stand on end and the cracking sound is almost immediate.Thunderrumbles through the skies as the rain starts really pouring down.
