Normally I would say something to disagree and remind the deceased that emotions were running high, but in this particular case, I didn’t doubt hisaccount.
“Mr. Klink, is there another will besides the one dated January 17,2016?”
“2016?” he echoed. “Course there is! I stashed one with my mistress two weeks before Idied.”
Judge Sinclair let out a very unjudgelikesnort.
I blinked. “Excuse me? Your...mistress has the most recent copy of yourwill?”
“Damn right she does,” he said. “You didn’t think I’d leave those fools anything would ya? The only thing that woman was good for was a quick roll in the hay, but those fun bags she’s sporting ain’t so fun when they keep getting in the way. Damn near put my eye out a time ortwo.”
Judge Sinclair was purple and was wheezing like she was having an asthma attack. Even I was struggling not tolaugh.
“And don’t get me started on my daughter. That cow ain’t been appreciative of nothing since she discovered you could autoplay the next episode on Netflix. I don’t think I’ve ever seen an honest day’s work from her. She thinks those looks are going to take it all the way home for her, but when you hit thirty, that’s when the men start looking for twenty.” He wheezed out a laugh. “And my son? The only work he’s done with his hands was in his bathroom with a tissue and a bottle oflotion.”
I lostit.
Judge Sinclair couldn’t keep it together either. We were laughing so hard tears streamed down our faces and when I was finally able to recover my composure, Mr. Klink was staring at us expectantly. “Tell River I love her,” he told us. “And tell my kids the only thing I left them is that old horse in the barn who humps anything thatmoves.”
“River is yourmistress?”
He nodded. “I met her the day after I married ol’ fun bags out there.” His gaze softened. “Isn’t that funny? I used to think about what would have happened if I’d just met her the day before. I expect she would have either whipped those kids of mine into shape or chased them out of the house with a shotgun. My other wife, you see, wasn’t much of a disciplinarian. But River? If she had balls, they’d be made of steel andgunpowder.”
I grinned. “River sounds like a lovely woman,” I said. “Would you mind providing her address so I can get a copy of thatwill?”
I didn’t need her address. River wasn’t a common name around here, and I knew exactly who he was talking about. And he was right. I could totally see her chasing someone around with ashotgun.
We didn’t have a lot of human families here in Midnight Cove. The ones who did live here weren’t always too normal. The Klink family being one of them. I didn’t know Mr. Klink very well, but I could see why River, our resident crone, would take up with him. He was pretty funny and could see right through hisfamily.
I wrote down the address he rattled off, had him lie back on the table, and asked Judge Sinclair to briefly exit theroom.
“Thank you for answering our questionstoday.”
He harrumphed. “Didn’t seem like I had much of a choice.” His gaze met mine. “This power you have. Seems like a toughone.”
I nodded, touched at his response. Most people saw my power as something to be used and not as the burden it couldbe.
“Well, you watch out for those people who only want you to do something for them. I should know how to spot them. I raised some ofthem.”
“Thank you, Mr. Klink. It was nice to meet you. I look forward to speaking toRiver.”
He grinned then. “She’s a real firecracker. Not only in life, but also in the sack.” He gave me a lustywink.
I rolled my eyes and raised my hands to begin unbinding his life cords. “I’ll remember that,” Isaid.
His cackling laugh lasted long after he wasgone.
