I laugh, forgetting the question. “What if webothget mind magic!” I ask. “We could have secret conversations!” I lean back onto my heels, imagining all of the secret talks we could have.
He grins. “Just promise to never leave me out of the fun, then.” Cage reaches up, fixing some of the curls that have fallen over my eyes.
I hold out my pinky, and he locks his with mine.
We lean forward, kissing our thumbs and sealing the promise.
I DRIFT CLOSER TO THE surface, soft voices pulling me up from the dark.
“I don’t blame her,” Kalix says quietly. “Just like I never blamed you, my Rainbow, when you got out of hand.”
“You’re too good, Kalix. You know that?” Iris’s voice is soft and tired.
“Never too good for you,” he says. His voice cracks only slightly. “It’s you who’s too good for me. Hell, I’m a rotten bastard who’s just fighting to be a man good enough for you—"
“Kalix,” she interrupts, “I’m not—"
“Please.” His voice is a soft plea now, not a demand in the slightest. “Let me finish. I don’t expect you to wait on me. I’m the one who waits.” He exhales slowly, trying to steady the emotions quaking in his voice. “I can’t even romanticize the idea of letting go. I’ve tried to fill the silence with something else—anything. I always end up back here, buried under thoughts of you.”
There’s a pause.
“I’ll never be late. You’ll never have to wait on me. I’ll be early, Iris—every time,” he continues, begging for her to witness the torment caused by such longing—the kind that is caused when you’re just within reach but can’t quite grasp something.
“Kalix,” she whispers, voice trembling, “I’m not doing this. Not now.”
And I slip again…away from their voices, from the ache in their hearts.
Back into the dark.
Chapter 29
Arcadia
“MILLICENT, PLEASE TALK TO ME,” I say, my voice trembling as I reach out to touch her shoulder.
Millicent had been missing for two days before we found her, miles beyond the Twisted Hollows, in a small rural farming town, or what used to be a town.
She had slaughtered every living thing there: the farmers, pets, and even children. The most disturbing part? She had devoured many of their organs and hasn’t spoken a single word. Since then, she only stares at me with empty, lifeless eyes. Thesea-blue gaze I love is gone, the waters drained until nothing remains but the void.
Blood and guts cling to her, including bits of skin. The skin doesn’t belong to her, stuck to her like a second layer of grotesque flesh. She hasn’t cleaned herself. She hasn’t moved. She hasn’t blinked. The stillness at which she has sat on this bed for two hours now is unnerving, and something I did not think was physically possible.
Something is deeply wrong.
Guilt gnaws at me for staying away so long. I’ve been traveling constantly.If I had been here, could I have stopped this?She had mentioned hearing voices and seeing things; were they connected? If she was going through something while I was away, she didn’t tell me in letters. She never willingly told me much unless I was present and spent enough time with her.
I left her here under the tight restrictions of the elders and the lack of care from our sisters. They care for her in the same way they do the elders: with obedience and no true affection.
Did she finally snap?
“Millie, please,” I beg, clasping her hand. “Come back to me.”
I won’t lose her. I refuse.
“I’m too stubborn and determined to let you go. So, snap out of this—now.” Of course, only I have come to her room. None of our sisters really help one another; after finding her the way they did, they especially don’t want to cross the threshold of her door.
Cowards.
I loosen my grip on her hand, which I didn’t realize was tightening; my emotions twist between concern, guilt, sadness, and anger.
