“I get it,” I agreed. “Let’s just not waste our time on plans that don’t matter long term. I want him gone too. But I also want to recognize myself in the mirror when he finally is.”
Krew’s eyes went to mine. Though I could feel his emotion down the bond, I wasn’t certain I had ever physically seen anyone so full of self-loathing. He looked absolutely miserable. “I am sorry, Jorah. Truly. Sorry that out of my own insecurity of needing you safe, you were hurt in the process. It wasn’t fair to you. I shouldn’t have to hurt you in order to keep you safe. No matter how badly I do want that.”
“In the future can you at least talk to me about these plans? Before they are already set in motion. I falsely assumed my days of being in the dark were over.”
He sighed. “Yes. Absolutely. You were just struggling with how much magic I’d given you, and I didn’t want to make things worse.”
“Well by not including me in the planning of either the scheme for the ring or the Renna situation, not only was I left out, but I was also hurt. So it definitely made things much worse. I know I could barely keep my eyes open most days and that is on me, but it feels like I missed out on so much.”
He gave me a nod and closed his eyes a moment. “I get that. I have no desire to keep things from you, love. Not ever.”
“I’m sorry my magic kept you away from me all night. That wasn’t my intention. At the time I just needed a moment of space and quiet and everything was so loud and in my face. I didn’t mean for it to be all night,” I explained. “But you could have easily broken the barrier and gotten to me, so why didn’t you?”
“I felt how helpless and hurt you were. Combine that with seeing your magic was protecting you and providing for you what I could not, and I didn’t want to break the barrier until you were ready for it to be broken. I told Owen, Renna, and Keir to leave it up. It should have been your decision on when it came down.”
“Oh.” That was kind of him. The barrier had been powerful, but Krew was fast enough and strong enough with his magic that he could have had it down in a few minutes. Instead, he’d stayed up likely the majority of the night, sitting on the floor outside of the barrier and allowing me some peace despite it torturing him to do so.
That thought had me moving to crouch in front of his legs. “Krew?”
“Yes, love?”
“May I have a hug? The magical kind that must last a full minute or longer?”
He closed his eyes and inhaled a deep breath.I thought you’d never ask.
And then I was being pulled onto his lap, my head against his chest while he held me. The seconds began ticking by. By the end of a few minutes, I felt his breathing even out and slow. So much so, I was afraid he was going to fall asleep right there with me in his lap.
“Krew.”
“Mmm?”
“Let’s go to bed,” I offered while standing.
While he headed to the bed, grabbing his shirt and pulling it over his head, I pulled the curtains closed. “Will your father bother you for anything or can you sleep for a few hours?”
“I effectively told him this morning I was busy cleaning up another one of his messes.”
I’d ask him later how all that went; for now, I was just grateful he could rest.
So in the middle of the day, I slid into bed next to him. I wasn’t all that tired, but I knew Krew needed it. He needed me by his side after not being able to be by mine all last night.
“I love you,” he whispered sleepily, brushing a kiss against my temple.
“I love you.”
As I laid there considering everything and wondering for the thousandth time what might be the best possible way to get rid of the king, I realized that if Krew and I didn’t figure this out, Krew’s insecurities about the woman he loved being hurt by his father might be the thing that got him killed. My biggest fear was that in trying to protect us all, he’d never even make it to the showdown with his father.
And of all of us, he deserved to be standing there when the king was no more.
CHAPTER15
As dawn turned the sky to a blueish purple haze, my feet pounded into the hardened grass in the forest. In those first few days while I slept a ton and avoided my magic, Owen and Krew had jogged a trail through the forest for me, so that I didn’t have to worry about random sticks and twigs tripping me up, and so that we could be out of the open view of the meadow. Now a worn path of a foot’s width ran before me cutting into the dirt and leaves.
Owen’s footsteps were right on mine, and I knew at any moment he was going to tell me to move my ass in that way that only he could, so I picked up speed and flew up the pathway.
Finally meeting the tree we were running to, I grabbed my knees, pulling the crisp morning air into my lungs.
“First day back is always the worst,” Owen commented.
