She nodded. “I understand that.”
I winced. “And I just needed a minute to gather my thoughts after having to contain my magic around everyone all night. I still have no idea how I pulled it off. No idea. But then as soon as Owen and I got back to Krew’s wing, the both of you arrived. Then Keir. And then all the bickering and arguing. It was all so...loud.”
While I took a deep breath, Renna said quietly, “And you needed space.”
I gave her a tight smile. “Yes. So I created a barrier around myself to drown out the noise. Not because I hated you all, just because I wanted to be alone while I dealt with my hurt, while I got myself calmed down, while I gave myself the space to breathe.”
Renna grabbed at her chest. “I am relieved. Owen told me that was probably the case, but—”
Jo interrupted with, “But you still stayed up most of the night and made Molly and I stay up with your moping ass?”
Renna gave her a nod, her chin crumpling as more tears formed in her eyes.
I squeezed her hand still in mine. “I don’t hate you. I don’t hate you even a little. Please just try to include me in these plans in the future. I know you and Krew have been conspiring together long before I came along, so it isn’t natural to have me in the mix. I get it.”
Renna shook her head. “But I love you both so much. I wouldn’t change a thing.”
I shook my head. “Nor I. I’d just like to focus all our energy onto the king. Because in the grand scheme of things, last night’s plan hurt more than it helped. Krew is protective of me and I know that, but the only plans in play now should be toward the king. Not me. Krew gave me enough magic to ensure I was protected. So let’s focus on what really matters. Getting the king off that throne.”
I got up and moved closer to Molly. “And I am terribly sorry I never told you what was going on. You have been nothing but a great friend to me. For the longest time I told myself that keeping you in the dark was keeping you safe. That if you didn’t know anything, the king couldn’t hurt you.” I sighed and wiped at a tear. “But I know all too well what that feels like, and I am so sorry for doing it to you. It should be your choice. So I’m offering it to you now, Molly. Would you like for me to share what has been going on? Knowing that it might make you more unsafe than you already are within the walls of this castle.” I paused. “And also will you forgive me for being a horrible friend?”
She stood and hugged me. “Of course. And of course I want to know. Of course!”
I smiled at Renna and gestured with my head to the breakfast still waiting. “Well let’s eat and I’ll tell you anything you’d like. Where would you like me to start?”
Molly gave her head a shake. “Uh, the beginning. You know I like a good story.”
So for the next hour, we ate breakfast. I talked to Molly while the rest of them ate, and then I ate while Renna took over and explained the rest, even including the Nara situation.
“So she’s still here?” Molly exclaimed.
Renna winced. “I’m afraid so. Apparently she was the young woman you saw from a distance.”
Molly just sat there a moment, looking in the direction of the window while also not really looking at anything in particular. “I can’t believe it was Nara. This whole time. The king is creepy.” She gave an exaggerated shiver. “How can she bring herself to see him naked? And not only see him naked but actually touch him?”
Renna gestured with a hand. “The realm may never know.”
Molly took a drink of her coffee. “And I always knew about the disloyal. Heard it whispered about even in Savaryn. Particularly living so close to the Rallis wall. But I didn’t realize exactly how many of us are disloyal to the king whether we label ourselves as such or not.”
Renna grabbed at her chest. “Did you not know about Keir? I’m so sorry if I ruined it. I should’ve let him tell you, but once we got explaining, I figured you might as well just know it all.”
She shook her head. “No. I knew Keir was conspiring to get his father off the throne. So I assumed he was working with the disloyal. Not surprised at all to find out he’s been behind them all along.” She paused. “I assume Jo already knew all of this, but will the two of you get in any trouble with the princes for bringing me up to speed?”
Renna looked to me.
I sighed. “I don’t really care, Molls. I just do not care. If the king forces me to keep everyone I love at an arm’s length, then he forces me to stop living the most vibrant part of my life. There is being safe and then there is ceasing to live, to love. I’m tired of riding that fine line.”
With one more sip of my tea, I stood. “And I have a long overdue conversation with my husband to get to, if the three of you do not mind.”
Renna’s eyes went huge. “You didn’t talk to him first?”
I shook my head. “No, I came here as soon as I was awake and out of that damned dress.”
Renna’s eyes went even larger, if that were possible. “He’s going to be a wreck.”
“I’m aware,” I said lightly.
“Renna,” Jo groaned. “Let them handle it on their own.”
