Krew grabbed a nearby stick and stuck it in the water, trying to stir the water at the edge with the stick. “I think it might be a little.”
I looked at the lake and fought off a smile. I was still terrified of magic. Of what I could do. But this? This was a safe area I was willing to repeatedly use my magic if it meant that eventually I could fix the lake.
* * *
I woke the next morning,stretching and looking to my hands. They were clear. I’d used so much magic the previous day between the lake and all the fire and sound barriers Krew had forced me to do throughout the day, and again that night at practice with Krew and Keir, that I had been granted one morning to sleep in without heading out to use my magic before the king was up.
Owen and Krew were nowhere in sight, but I knew they were around somewhere.
Judging by the direction I felt Krew down the bond, he was likely in the throne room. Knowing they’d demand I start the fire and put up a sound barrier at least once now that I was awake, I did both of those things with only slight terror. Wouldn’t it be my luck the one time they were not in the room with me for this, I lit the castle on fire?
But in the fireplace, only the two logs burned. The silver sound barrier stood steady at the door.
Good morning, love.
Good morning, Krew.
Did you start the fire?
Yes.
Sound barrier at the door?
Yes.
I’m with Father and Keir. We have to take him to see your trees. I’ll be back hopefully within an hour. Owen can call for your breakfast when you are ready.
Thank you.
I decided I should shower first as Silvia would come by later and if I could charm her, maybe even braid my hair in my favorite way.
As I stepped out of the shower and brushed my teeth, I thought I might try to read a little while I waited for Krew. These last few days I had done so very little for myself. It’d been too... chaotic. I’d either been stressing or sleeping and that was about it.
Heading into the closet which housed all of my clothes and also Krew’s, and had long before we ever wed, I remembered how comfortable Krew’s shirt had been to wear that first morning my magic had settled.
Knowing it wasn’t likely I’d be leaving Krew’s wing today except for maybe a quick forest trip, I grabbed a black shirt and threw it on, this time with undergarments, of course. I was feeling the need to be cozy, not risqué.
For now, I left my hair around my shoulders to air dry.
I drank my tea and read while eating a muffin Owen brought in, content to just be. My magic was still there, but the pull of it was not so consuming that I couldn’t concentrate on my book. Owen had to go talk to some other guards, so I was alone, alone with my book. A lovely place to be.
After about an hour, I decided I should put out the fire and sound barrier and do one again. I didn’t know if Owen and Krew were right about how often I needed to use my magic, but I just knew I never wanted what happened with Keir to happen again. So if that meant I needed to do small things like this often, I would have to learn to accept it. I didn’t have to like it. I just had to do it.
I called my magic up and did just that. I put out the fire, took out the sound barrier and then started it all again. Feeling warmed from my magic, I took a break from my spot at the couch to look out the balcony. Feeling that Krew was already back at the castle from his trip to the forest with his father, and deciding I was already warm enough from my magic, I threw on my slippers and went out to the veranda.
Though there had been a light dusting of snow last night, the days were ever so slowly warming up. A tease of spring on the horizon. I thought of what the king must be thinking about the trees I’d turned green. Looking at the forest beneath me, which looked like it’d been sprinkled in powdered sugar like a pastry, I imagined what the entire forest would look like in spring if it all weren’t dead. Not just two trees, but all of it. It’d be breathtaking.
I only hoped if I was forced to carry this much magic and power, I had it in me to do this. To fix the forest. If I had to feel this constant fear, maybe something good could still come from it.
I turned my face toward the sun and took some deep breaths. Life was still beautiful. Chaotic. Terrifying. But beautiful. And being bonded to Krew was everything I’d hoped for and more. I might resent the magic, or the amount of magic, but I still wouldn’t have changed it.
I let my sound barrier around Krew’s room fall as Owen and Krew arrived, wanting to hear their voices if they went in the other sitting room. Knowing one or both of them was going to command me to eventually put it back up, and tired of both of them bossing me around all the time, I did it without prompting, sending my magic along the floor to do just that, this time encompassing all of Krew’s wing.
Krew and Owen were talking about whether or not the king bought their story about the trees. Apparently, news of the trees turning green had brought a bunch of people to the forest to see them, and they were debating whether it was safe to train at the forest that night or if we should go elsewhere. I listened but kept taking in the scenery. Imagining the day I could stand here overlooking a green and healthy forest, listening to birds chirp.
Krew was saying something and then trailed off mid-sentence. I turned over my shoulder to see what the issue was, to find him standing there at the foot of the bed gawking at me. Even in just his eyes, in the way those grayish blues met mine, I knew the intensity of how he felt toward me. And I wondered how I hadn’t noticed it long before I did.
Owen peeked his head around the corner to look at me. “Are you talking to him in his head again?”
