I opened my eyes to see the fire lit, the two logs exactly as I had wanted, and a thin sound barrier at the door. Nothing was broken. Nothing was burning.
“How do you feel?” he asked.
I didn’t want to answer that.
“Say it out loud.”
I sighed. “Still terrified.”
“Okay, so we do it again,” he said gently, and with a flick of his finger, the fire went out and the barrier fell.
“I could do this a hundred times and might still be terrified,” I admitted, my voice still thick with emotion.
“I know, but go again.”
Seeing there was no point in arguing, that he was just going to keep forcing me to do this over again, I moved to close my eyes again.
Krew squeezed my shoulder. “No, not this time. Keep your eyes open. See that you are in control.”
What had Owen said?You run your magic, your magic does not run you.I took a deep breath and looked at the now extinguished fire. I thought again of just the two logs and how I wanted them to be started on fire. Within a minute, I had the fire burning and the barrier back at the door.
“Again,” he whispered, brushing a kiss to my cheek.
I sighed.
On and on we went. And what had to be a dozen times later, he had me do both at the same time. Which I somehow managed to do without sending the whole castle into flames.
“Do you feel better?” Krew whispered in my ear.
“I don’t know.” I yawned. I was tired before we even left for the meadow, so now I was beyond tired. “Do you? You’re the one forcing me to do this.”
He moved my hair to gently massage my shoulders. “For now. But tomorrow you will have to do this again. And again. And again. Until these two things are so normal that you barely even have to think about it.”
“Can I train with just Owen tomorrow morning?”
His forehead creased. “Jorah, I was never mad at you. Not for a moment. Not for what happened with Keir, none of it. I was only ever mad at myself.”
I gave him a shrug. “Okay, but if tonight showed us anything, it’s that my magic reacts strongly not only when I haven’t used enough of it, but also with you around. I need to learn how to control it on my own. Without you there to help.”
He brushed a kiss to my temple. “Whatever you need, love. But can I come toward the end?”
I stood, wiping my palms on my pants. “Also, learning how to wield a drop of magic in ten days was in the realm of possibility, but I’m not sure this is, Krew. And asking me to figure out how to be in total control of this much magic and then turn around and be around your father isn’t fair.”
“No, it’s not,” he agreed.
I walked toward the bed, kicking off my boots on the way. “Well, you might have to scheme my way out of the next ball at this rate. We need a backup plan.”
CHAPTER7
Owen had me moving a moderately sized fallen branch around in patterns with my magic. I had to keep a steady stream of magic coming from my hand, and it took more concentration than anything I’d tried before.
“Good. Now zig zag,” Owen commanded.
I groaned, reaching up to wipe my sweaty forehead with my free hand. Between last night and this morning, I had used far more magic than ever before. I still feared my magic, the weight and power of it all. The fact that I never seemed tonotfeel it there waiting; not once had I felt it dip or lessen. But using it was at least becoming easier.
Minutes later, when Owen finally let me have a break, he tossed me a canteen for a drink of water.
“What else do you want to try?” Owen asked. “More breezes? A moving sound barrier?”
